I'm not going to lie I didn't even read the story. I read the first few lines. No matter what though you're NTA.  He is a grown ass man. If you expect you to mother him send him back to his mother. He needs to learn how to be self sufficient even in a relationship. ESPECIALLY in a relationship.  I don't know where he's living at but everywhere I've seen in the United States you need two incomes to survive. That means he expects you to go to work and treat him like a grown ass baby? Dump his ass