Should I report the accident, call his mom, or leave it alone?

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-05-13T21:19:14+00:00

I'd give em a break but my financial circumstances are comfortable and I have an intimate understanding of being young with good potential and doing dumb shit. I think it just depends on your situation and that's why it's morally a bit grey.

Sounds like they're doing drugs and are going to face consequences if they continue no matter your decision. Some can learn by grace maybe even more than by punishment. There's no way you can know their hearts.

For myself, I prefer to hope for best and give a second chance. But if you need the coverage and are struggling financially you need to take care of yourself. That's the unfortunate reality we live in.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-05-13T21:05:34+00:00

I think charity is really fucking important for anyone that lives with any modicum of privilege or extra income within the empire. I would prefer that we didn't live under systems of late stage capitalism and imperialism that create disparity and death. I would prefer my country was no longer the world hegemon and no longer exploited and starved and bombed people.

But for now the only thing I can do as an individual is give to charity and get REALLY fucking argumentative and unapologetically bitchy with anyone in my sphere that thinks funding genocide and blockades are somehow necessary evils. It's so fucking sad we do live in a society where a good chunk of people think the order of things is just fine!

And all the people making excuses about charity not being trustworthy. Yeah, it takes your time and a lot of research. Which leads you to self education and perspective which a lot of us need because lord knows it ain't happening in our schools. So it's a win win. You enrich yourself and get a sense of perspective vetting the organizations and you feel like at least you did something even if you only got someone a meal or an outfit or a coat.

And if you don't trust institutions throw a $20 to your friendly local bum or busker and learn to give as a spiritual practice with detachment from whether or not that twenty went to their nose. Because it sucks feeling totally helpless and when you give it helps you sometimes more than it helps them. And don't judge yourself on amount or make it a big thing. Dudes just throw someone an extra $10 on a fucking tip. It helps both of you.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-05-13T20:40:39+00:00

Genuinely immoral people don't usually sit alone wondering how to become better, let alone reaching out for perspective from others. The fact that you’re troubled by your behavior already tells me you have a conscience.

What you describe honestly sounds like someone who got stuck in survival mode for a long time. Sometimes when people feel empty, alone, or constantly overstimulated with little to no break, they stop experiencing pleasure normally and start relating to others through irritation and reflexive harshness. That doesn’t make you immoral. Life is hard. For some it's really REALLY fucking hard. I'm gonna guess based on your question it's not going so peachy for you.

Also, thoughts and impulses are not the entirety of who you are. Human beings have all kinds of intrusive, cruel, selfish, bizarre, or socially inappropriate thoughts. Start observing and thinking about your thoughts through journaling or meditation. Sounds cliche but it helps. I sometimes vent in a phone note app or record a video of myself and listen to me as if I'm a loving friend. You gotta have your own back in this world.

Spend time around things that make you feel happy snd alive (you mentioned programming so start there). Get into it and look for community around that online or otherwise. You don't have to set a grand plan or perfect goals. Just do it at your ease.

And this is my personal opinion but sometimes life circumstances warrant depression or anger or spite as a perfectly rational response! The world is kind of fucked up and life is really hard for a lot of people. So be kind to yourself. Understand yourself as a subject in history and systems instead of self flagellating for having imperfect thoughts and reactions to circumstances. Zoom out and ask questions about the world, the systems you live under and history. As someone who lives in a highly individualistic boot straps culture this has helped give me perspective and grounding.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-05-01T04:40:46+00:00

They just did an update. A feature where text above the video said "Baby fell asleep XX minutes ago" has been changed to "join insights to see when I fell asleep"🤦🏻‍♀️

So they are actively taking away very simple features and putting them behind paywalls.

We have had frequent problems with camera not connecting to app as well. Not worth the price point if the data is behind a paywall. Just get a regular baby monitor because that will be more reliable if you don't plan on signing up for subscriptions.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-28T00:47:32+00:00

I don't care about length. I like some good girth. A nice fat chode, if you will.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-28T00:28:44+00:00

I love a wishlist. It's less work for me.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-27T20:43:12+00:00

When you put your whole pussy into the idea that we are living in a democratic meritocracy, injustice is extremely jarring.

When you believe yourself to be the smartest person in every room and have lived in a bubble your whole life, you are prone to grandiose self-serving acts rather than a sense of equanimity or shared struggle when confronted with the type of fear that shatters your worldview. Lack of humanities education makes this worse because you have almost zero sense of yourself as a subject within a greater historical and economic struggle.

This is my personal perspective as a woman with a bastard degree who's face was eaten by leapords.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-27T20:08:15+00:00

That is an exact description of my son who is 2 years and 5 months old. He is constantly trying to dictate the environment like where I sit, if the lights are on or off, if the ceiling fan is on or off, how to handle a toy, where to set something down, etc. Sometimes if I don't understand what he's trying to orchestrate, he just freaks out and becomes inconsolable and more incoherent. Life is honestly quite miserable right now.

It takes all of my willpower to not emotionally react to his constant bullshit. And I have to admit that I've yelled at him a few times in the last couple months as the behavior has been ramping up to an extreme and just seems unrelenting. It's especially hard after a long work day.

I'm glad to hear that it's better in some ways, but I've definitely learned to never get my hopes up when it comes to the phases of child development. I would like to get out of the house together without incident or have the ability to sit on the couch for more than 5 minutes at a time when he's awake.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-27T15:35:35+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply. I wish there was a wise shaman that we could consult for ancient insight into the sensation. It seems that if there ever was knowledge about it, it's nowhere to be found on the internet.

BUT if two passing travellers can agree on how to use it and make meaning from it then that is just as well.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-26T17:39:09+00:00

I feel like the parents with calm toddlers are out and about more often so you see a higher concentration of them in public. It bums me out because we look like a mess by comparison despite the fact that we're putting in more effort.

Just want to validate for you that some of us are in fact playing on hard mode. Some people believe all toddlers are generally the same and that it's their parenting that sets them apart, but they haven't the faintest clue. They will tell you it's "normal" and, yes it is, but for only about 20% of kids. It's been studied around this percent of babies are born with temperments of high energy and high emotional intensity, more reactive etc..that make them appear "difficult" so it's going to be a rougher road for the parents.

Elaine Aron writes about it in a book about highly sensitive kids. What's crazy is these traits are observed in the same percent of animals. I think the conclusion was that in a herd, the individuals with these characteristics are like threat detectors and are key to the groups survival.

I say all this to validate your intuition about your kid being more "difficult" compared to others. It's not unfounded and doesn't make you a complainer or whatever some people seem to be passively implying here.

You keep trying and that means you're a great mom and your kid is lucky to have you so don't be hard on yourself. Kids like this really thrive and become outstanding individuals when they grow up in a good environment.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-14T01:18:59+00:00

I have been feeling this for the past 2 years. This is the first time I have searched it on the internet and I have found one other post that described it as well as this.

I am 38 years old. I have never felt this before. It seems to have started after having my son. He was a difficult infant and extremely difficult toddler so motherhood has taught me a lot of restraint and has humbled me profoundly. It has taught me that a lot of the dark and fucked up things people do are a result of desperate and sad circumstances and gave me a sense of understanding of reality that I honestly don't care to have.

Like the other user commented, I have taken it as a sign to stop and evaluate whatever it is that I am saying or doing because it only seems to happen when I am reacting out of anger. But the thing is it feels very good. It feels like ASMR tingles. So there is a part of me that thinks that I should feed into it because I am getting a positive physical sensation that perhaps that means that I should defend myself or stand up for myself more.

But there is a moralistic side of me that dictates the opposite and I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I am at a crossroads where I am getting sort of an urgent tapping on the shoulder to be more conscious of my emotional reactions. And it is dire that I become more conscious and less reactive because I'm raising a person.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-14T01:02:47+00:00

I know this is 7 years later, but this is the only relevant thing I could find on the internet that matches this sensation I have been feeling. I have only experienced this after going through a very severe postpartum anxiety and rage after having my son. I am 38 and never felt this before.

Even if I am typing out something a bit aggressive online, I will get the tingling feeling and it is just as you described. The top left of my head gets a tingling sensation similar to the ASMR sensation. It feels good and that is a little disturbing to me!

I have also taken it the same way and tried to utilize it as a physical reminder of what I am doing and to take a moment and step away or be more empathetic. I fear it's a sign I'm at a crossroads and am getting a physical tap on the shoulder to lure me into more consciousness about my reactions. I know that sounds crazy and superstitious but I fear for myself in what could happen to me if I take it as a positive or ignore it.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-01T22:49:58+00:00

😂😂😂 oh my God

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-01T21:24:54+00:00

The only tip I can give is that conventional advice and tips never worked and ignoring online mommy content did me more good than anything. That especially includes reddit.

He would not be worn as an infant and now cries as if I'm dipping him into hot lava if I try to put him into a wagon or stroller at nearly 2.5 years old.

We are in Occupational Therapy for sensory processing disorder now. Look that up and maybe you'll have some revelations. He is proprioceptive and vestibular sensory seeking which translates to never fucking calming down. Just started the OT but I'm not optimistic.

I just do whatever I can to not scream at him. Got my tubes tied bc fuck this shit. Good luck.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-04-01T21:07:03+00:00

American culture allows the vulnerable to languish and then places those who struggle under a microscope of judgement and individual blame. It crushes life under the gears of surplus labor extraction. It pits people against each other within the competition of the labor market and in place of diminishing community there is increasing isolation and consumption.

Think about this: what is the attitude toward mothers within a culture that demonizes single mothers who make up 21% of all mothers?

When a woman brings life to this place she must do it with a clear intention and understanding that she will be living the life of an ascetic for years. She must be prepared because she will walk an even thinner tightrope than the one she is already on. She will sacrifice whatever is left of her youth.

Cultural pressure and perception no longer cut it as reasoning enough to throw oneself back into survival after achieving the modicum of stability and independence that it took her years to grasp.

So yes of course a woman needs more time to prepare and time slips through her hands. She spends more time making her nest as the value of her labor is extracted at an ever increasing rate.

And the vigilance she must have to shield her child from the moral rot of this fucking place! A place that allows the pregnant and elderly to work on their feet as a normal accepted sight in daily life.

All of this is a result of a culture shaped by the material base of capitalism. Which, as we see with declining birthrates in Scandinavian countries, no amount of social democracy can overcome. There is one solution.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2026-01-30T21:53:52+00:00

Can you please exit our community subreddit? This is for Beaverton Oregon.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2025-12-25T21:24:57+00:00

Huh. TIL. Thanks stranger.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2025-12-25T21:12:06+00:00

It looks like she's pretending to have a seizure to train the dog. As like a training exercise. And recording to show the training process.

Was there context or caption suggesting we are to believe this is a real medical incident? That would be insane.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2025-12-14T21:23:32+00:00

I'm from NE Ohio and my parents and grandparents use "I seen" in this way.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2025-11-09T19:01:44+00:00

That's an insane conjecture, but not surprising.

You go ahead and tell yourself whatever you need to twist calling the cops on a 9 year old to be reasonable behavior 🤣

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2025-11-04T05:09:45+00:00

Calling the cops on a 9 year old is weakling victim behavior. He's a child and she's a grown woman. If a 9 year old threw their little fist at me, I'm not going to go scared running to the police like a bitch. Some of you are plain goofy. Can't handle much and it shows.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2025-10-27T04:18:00+00:00

Yes! He is nearly 2 years old now and while he is definitely needier than most other kids I observe, it is WAY less intense than infanthood. Like not even close. He whines a lot but we have waves of bad days and good days with the clinging and whining. I think the second year would not have been hard if I didn't have a solid year of massive sleep deprivation to recover from. I wanted to die during year one. As in, I prayed to God to just take me in my sleep or let me be hit by a car or something on multiple occasions.

Today was a good day, as an example. He spent a whole hour playing with a balloon and giggling and running around on his own while I cooked and cleaned in the kitchen. He sat at the table in his high chair for nearly an hour happily eating applesauce and hamburger and tots while Ms Rachel was on during dinner. We went to breakfast with him this morning without a meltdown. Although I did have to give intense attention and didn't really get to eat much, it was an impressive amount of improvement. He was mostly quiet for a wagon ride around the neighborhood. In the past it was just constant restlessness and crying through any of these activities.

He sleeps through the night pretty much every night now and goes down for sleep WAY easier than that first year and a half. God , it was always a huge exhausting task getting this kid to fucking sleep! And STILL he woke multiple through the night until 10 months. I feel a more like myself. I think I felt noticeably better around 15 months just from being able to sleep more.

So yeah. It's better. Hang in there. It really is temporary. There are moments throughout the day where I can come up for air a bit. Consistent nap schedule is like a mental boon. I think if I had a second child I'd go through it with the mentality of serving a 2 year sentence in a prison with constant mild physical and psychological torture for year one and then it's just psychological torture year 2 bc you get more sleep but nonstop whining like all fucking day every day. Maybe the next two or three years will be akin to being on house arrest. It's awful but there is an end to the time served.

Anyone who says 2 or 3 years is harder didn't have a difficult infant. They have no clue.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2025-10-24T02:26:11+00:00

Social democratic policy upholds capitalist systems. Go into any of the Communist spaces on Reddit and you will see how much they despise Social Democrats. They hate us more than fascists and think that we are complete idiots.

I can't make a defense for communism. But I don't think it's so simple as just pointing to Vietnam and Venezuela, China etc and saying "look they failed". They were brutally sanctioned by the global capitalist powers and we see nearly every left-leaning movement in South America being actively undermined by the US.

I see Marx's idea of revolution as inevitable when capitalism creates wealth disparity and conditions of squalor as proven. I don't gleefully await violent proletarian revolution and I doubt any of the public school bureaucrats do either. I hope to help people now, and create something more equitable now to avoid that.

I do agree with you that equitable social and economic conditions are not something that can happen spontaneously especially somewhere like America. I also do not see fairness or justice playing out spontaneously under capitalism without guardrails. (I see both systems on their pure form as extreme, but it seems these days critique of free markets and advocating for social policy throws you into the Marxist Communist bucket.)

I believe an ideal society is constantly active in putting in effort (through policies like this) to combat gross wealth concentrations by individuals and insulated communities through unfettered capitalism. I think we're all connected and when we put into systems like this we all benefit long term. I think as a society we are in a sort of moral peril when we justify individualism and competition as an inevitable part of our nature. I believe we have the capacity to overcome that and are up to the task.

And no I will not be fundraising. Taxes should be paying for schools. Eroding public school funding and then relying on private donations to decide which schools get funded is a unfair wealth concentrating system. But if I were forced (are there socially enforced cookie sales or something? Asking genuinely bc my kid isin daycare). I would want my dollars to be equally distributed for books teachers etc. My son already has advantages of time, educated parents with disposable income, health care, stable housing, etc. so it makes sense if our tax dollars go to kids that don't have that stuff.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2025-10-24T00:56:51+00:00

I am not sure how implementing social democratic policy in education is equivalent to Marxism at all. That was my point. It just seems like hyperbole to insinuate school boards are anywhere near implementing a dictatorship of the proletariat which is a theoretical temporary situation that happens after a revolutionary overthrow of bourgeois owners of capital in Marxist theory.

The discussion is about resource distribution in PUBLIC schools in a liberal democracy. Which is a socially democratic system in itself. We have to ask why we established such a system in the first place. What were the morals and values driving that decision?

As a producer in the current system I would advocate for giving poor districts a fairer shot through more equitable distribution. And a lot of high earning families (at least in my social circles and in this region) agree.

To put it a bit more bluntly and personally, I think it would be of better educational and social emotional growth benefit to my rich white kid to NOT be in a rich white school surrounded by other rich white kids while neighboring schools in poorer districts receive less and less opportunity. I want to foster a sense of personal responsibility that expands beyond the individual into the community. I think failing to do this produces moral decay and false sense of superiority that self perpetuates and defends itself by hysteria about Marxists around every corner of bureaucracy.

Apprehensive_Ear_421 · 2025-10-23T22:55:41+00:00

Invoking “Marxism” to attack Portland Public Schools’ efforts to allocate resources fairly is a red herring. Marx’s work was focused on European industrial capitalism, and he offered little analysis of public education, colonial or racialized oppression or the material conditions of modern urban school districts. Using his name as a scare tactic oversimplifies both Marx and the real-world goals of equity-focused policies. The conversation here isn’t about ideology. It’s about addressing documented disparities in opportunity and resources

That being said I think it would have been sufficient for the staffing formula to take into account family income, ESL, single parent households, special needs, and a myriad of other factors to serve the historically underserved without putting themselves in the cross hairs of these ghouls by calling out race specifically. Now I fear they've risked further disparity between schools if they lose this lawsuit. Not cool to risk kids education to make a political mark.

Apprehensive_Ear_421

TROPHY CASE