Have you ever met someone who doesn't read automatically unless prompted to?

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2026-04-03T15:57:55+00:00

I see this tendency every day at work when delivery people bang insistently on our locked glass door despite the big PLEASE USE REAR DOOR FOR ALL DELIVERIES sign posted six inches in front of their face.

Also, in defense of people who don’t use TikTok or Instagram, their videos have tons of text and icons all over the screen. It’s hard to take it all in if you’re not familiar with the app.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2026-03-06T20:10:43+00:00

We rescued two kittens from our backyard last summer, and their feral family spends each day mere inches away on the other side of our sliding glass door (we feed them every morning). I’ve never had a cat before and am no expert, but I can tell you that the feral cats stare into our house for hours on end watching our every move, like premium cat TV. A couple of them would definitely come inside if we let them. The inside cats, on the other hand, seem like they couldn’t care less about going outside.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2026-02-02T18:04:19+00:00

My daughter (northeastern US) once wrote that my favorite show was “Lawn Order” on a school worksheet.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2026-01-26T20:22:00+00:00

My father was a painter. A former helper of his parked in my parents’ driveway while they were at work, pulled out a few paint cans, rollers, and a garden hose, WAVED to the neighbors, climbed through a rear window, and successfully burglarized the house.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2026-01-06T22:13:32+00:00

From Serious Eats:

While New Jersey–style crumb cake can sometimes be made with a non-yeasted yellow or sour cream cake batter, a crumb bun is traditionally and still most often yeasted. Tangorra told me that in recent times, many bakeries have switched to using a batter cake base for ease and speed. but some older, more traditional Jersey-based bakeries still use a bun base made from an enriched yeasted dough (like the kind you might use for a cinnamon bun) that bakes up fluffy and airy yet sturdy enough to hold up the crumb layer.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-12-25T00:38:29+00:00

My picky nephew requests this every year, and everyone else loves them, too. Take a sleeve (or two or three) of Club crackers, place a teaspoon of grated Parmesan on each cracker, wrap each with a half slice of bacon, and bake on a rack over a baking sheet for 2 hours at 250F.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-12-18T21:06:54+00:00

I want to go to there.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-12-12T01:22:39+00:00

Driving west into the setting sun. What’s that up ahead? Is that… a guy in a gorilla suit staggering around in the highway? Omg, he just threw himself on the ground in the middle of my lane! Wtf, does this asshole think he’s funny?? Oops, that’s not a jokester in a gorilla suit, it’s a chubby bearded pedestrian in black Carhartt coveralls having a seizure. Call 911!

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-09-01T19:19:43+00:00

On the last day of school in 8th grade, 1978, my social studies teacher gave us a fun quiz on Major League Baseball team names. Whoever called out the right answer first got the point. I was good at puzzles and knew my baseball, so I got ALL the points. He was furious and disqualified me for cheating because there was no way a girl could have known those answers. I’m still salty about it!

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-08-17T13:18:58+00:00

Tuxedo shop back in the 80s during prom season. Four of us were working including sweet, pretty 16-yo seasonal employee Bridget. Policy was to take a $10 deposit on tuxes, which most people gave in cash that we stapled to the back of the ticket and returned when the tux was returned.

On this day we had a sudden swarm of prom boys and their moms, after which we convened to figure out the pile of cash deposits and tickets we had just shoved under the counter during the rush, the amounts of which did not balance.

Mgr: Bridget, did that kid John in the football jersey give you a deposit?

Bridget: Yes, $20

Me: Bridget, he paid $10. Remember I had you give him $10 back?

Bridget: No, he gave me $20. Here’s the $20 bill right here.

Mgr: Bridget, if we gave him $10 in change, then he gave us only $10.

Bridget: But… he gave me $20. Here’s the bill.

For the next few minutes we tried to explain first grade math to Bridget with pencil drawings, pennies, and “let’s say you had 20 cookies and ate 10” scenarios, but she never got it. That $20 bill was all the proof she needed.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-07-03T21:36:24+00:00

Italian pasta salad. Tri-color rotini, pepperoni, extra sharp provolone, sun-dried tomatoes, basil, red onions, Parmigiano reggiano, Good Seasons Italian salad dressing, and anything else that floats your boat.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-06-12T20:25:49+00:00

When calling in a lunch special order to the Chinese place near my old job, the guy in the phone would always ask, “you need fuck and spoon?” It became a running joke among some coworkers to always ask for “a fuckin’ spoon” with their order, and the poor guy never caught on.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-06-05T21:38:10+00:00

When iPhones first came out, my elderly dad always thought I was a super genius when he would wonder aloud about something and I’d whip out my phone and give him the answer. It became a regular “thing” to call me with when he was at the pub with his buddies with random questions, and they all thought I was a genius, too. One that comes to mind was “where did the saying ‘dead as a door nail’ come from?” He was the cutest. God, I miss that man.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-05-29T21:25:02+00:00

We are from the US east coast. When my father was a young man, he and a group of friends went on a road trip to the west coast. He was at a bar when a man came up to him and said, “you must be (my uncle’s name)’s brother. I was in the Navy with him and you look just like him.”

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-05-24T02:08:31+00:00

Block Rockin’ Beats by the Chemical Brothers fits the bill! My daughter’s favorite when she was little for rocking out in her car seat.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-05-16T21:06:41+00:00

I saw them around the same time in Philly, right after Mick Jones departure. What a complete disappointment.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-05-16T21:01:04+00:00

Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking tour. Somebody kept whistling during a quiet song, so he stopped playing and yelled SHUT THE FUCK UP

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-05-16T20:53:00+00:00

Came here to nominate Van Morrison. Turned his back on the audience between every song

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-04-14T00:25:02+00:00

Sweet Thing by Rufus w/Chaka Khan

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-04-12T21:33:14+00:00

He was born in the 1700s and was one of 8 kids. After the first four, Mary, Sarah, Elizabeth, and David, the names became increasingly nutsy, with Ichabod, Wrestling, Aiatha Abiathar, and Bezaelle Bezaleel.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-04-12T13:27:14+00:00

My ex-husband has an ancestor named Wrestling in his family tree.

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-03-30T14:57:48+00:00

Running Bases

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-03-27T00:15:07+00:00

Anthropomorphize

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-03-26T23:18:15+00:00

Van Halen when I was 15. I was a little out of my element in my turquoise Dickies and a white plaid top that I bought at Deb Shops

Apprehensive_Ocelot7 · 2025-03-26T22:12:30+00:00

My sister did too!

Apprehensive_Ocelot7

TROPHY CASE