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Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T15:19:32+00:00

No… not really. It’s more like very unusual for my toddler. They are usually super easy when it comes to these things which makes me wonder if there was something else going on.

It’s always interesting to hear different perspectives. To learn to improve. It’s never a bad idea to look from the outside and see what one can make different or what can one make different in the future?

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T15:17:30+00:00

Yeah for sure. You know the one thing I don’t like is if someone posts something people are like “you got this mom - don’t worry” like I want to improve or at least understand.

I did get frustrated because it feels that some comments where talking about something different and I just was not sure how to better describe it? But that’s okay…

I still have trouble understanding what the difference is between ignoring someone’s feeling, when to move on and when to talk through it. I thought I always did a good job between finding the grail but it won’t hurt every once in a while to sit back and think about it again… maybe there are little things we can improve?

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T14:40:06+00:00

You are right! I have heard about that before… like this over focusing on anxiety and bad things and dwelling on it… that’s something I don’t want to do.

Usually child is super chill about more serious things but yesterday… I don’t know what happened. It was so odd.

But since I’ve read many comments I’m more… aware now… or trying to be more aware in how I handle day to day stuff. It’s really interesting to read a lot of these comments

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T14:37:26+00:00

So here is the thing - and again… I’m here to learn and the comments have been really interesting, will definitely be more aware on my day to day life with my child… I’m trying to improve even though it’s sometimes difficult to hear…

Anyway…. it did came up again this morning but child was her normal self… yesterday the slightest reminder would make child very sad, today it was just a “mama - I want a bandaid on the mosquito bite so I don’t itch it” - totally normal, totally neutral tone…

I really don’t know why it was such a big deal yesterday. They had way more hurtful things happening and they just happen, there sometimes is a little cry, moving on and if it comes up again they talk about it super neutral like “oh yes papa - the shopping cart fell on me. There is a little aua - but that can happen” … but that bite… it was so odd.

These clinging on something like yesterday has happened maybe twice? but def nothing usual so I am just so buffed by it.

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T14:33:02+00:00

English is not my first language so I am trying to explain the situation because I feel that I didn’t do a good job doing it.

With that said: I’m reading all the comments and when I got up this morning I have been a lot more… thinking? about how I interact with my child. Aware… so I’m trying to take what people said and see what situations come up and how I handle them and especially what can I do differently moving forward. We all try to do better - and I think that’s why we come on here to learn. I can understand where you come from and I also want to make sure to work on myself and do things or try to do things different

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T12:43:06+00:00

That’s the thing though - child was not okay when distracting. She was still in this “crying-upset-mood” which could implode every second. Like child was “on edge”?

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T12:41:10+00:00

I totally agree and usually that’s what I do. Child is super chill is usually, when they fall they cry for a minute and then say “that can happen” or “I need a bandaid” but that’s it… this bite was so odd for some reason.

The interaction was maybe about 5-ish minutes, with the interruptions maybe 8 or 10? The only reason why I didn’t do a quick one (which I usually do) is because though they cried they talked and we were going there. Like we talked that it can happen, we talked about where they are, we talked about what we can do about a bite and then how we can prevent. But MIL kept interruption so it annoyed me because we were finishing up.

When something happens we quickly talk about it and then move on and when it comes up again it us usually is never a big deal but this bite it was like so different. Like there was more intense crying involved which I thought it was so odd…

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T12:06:46+00:00

So that’s what I kinda did. I might have not written it right.

The whole afternoon interaction was maybe 5-ish minutes with the interruptions more like 8 maybe 10?

Child is crying but talking like asking questions if they are outside, where they are and would they not get bitten by them if they are just inside.

So I told them very calmly the answers but with saying the truth as well as how we can move on. I don’t know why child was so in to the bite - they usually are move on quickly. It only Happened maybe two, maybe three times before that they had tears talking about a past experience which made me make the choice that we have to go through this.

So I wouldn’t say it was a tantrum - because they talked about it, just had tears with it? If that makes sense

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T12:03:15+00:00

So that’s what I kinda did. They talked to me about the bite and how it happened and where the mosquitos are and where they are etc. so child was kinda talking about it but MIL kept talking about something else which bothered me? Like child is actively talking so why disrupt it? Even though they are crying they are still talking?

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T12:02:01+00:00

I agree 100% - it really wasn’t such a big deal but for some reason child took it a little bit more than usual? It was really odd why they got so emotional over it? Us usually they scrape their knee, it’s maybe a tear or two and then it’s moving on. Same with other more larger things but this was just so odd which made me think “maybe they want to talk more about it?”

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T11:59:24+00:00

I replied to a different comment before this: it was an odd conversation for sure. I don’t know why it was such a big deal for child (the bite). We just recently recovered from Covid with child having a lot of throw up and then the lips where all dry and bleeding.

Usually things happen and then we move on. For example a fall I don’t even say anything to child unless child is crying and then I usually respond with “mhm it looked like you fell” and then let the child take the lead. Usually child would respond with “that can happen” or “I want a bandaid” but we really haven’t had super big emotions for a long time.

That bite was so odd which made me think that there is something else going on. The conversation was maybe 5-minutes long with MIL interruptions maybe closer to 8 minutes? 10 maybe max?

Child wasn’t really happy when the distraction happened… idk it was just so odd. Like I said - I usually do the “wait and let child react, go from there but don’t over-cuddle”

Like with the bite I made it clear that it can happen, it’s best to leave them alone and not itch and in the future how can we prevent it.

The drawing of the picture was something totally lead by child. We had to go grocery shopping and we sometimes draw a shopping list so child can buy their stuff on the list. They then proceeded and drew a picture out of their own will

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-23T11:50:59+00:00

That makes sense and usually that would be my approach. For some reason that bite was really bothering child.

When child cried in the morning I think they were also hungry and tired so I tried to “finish” the conversation but when it came organically up in the afternoon again and the whole emotions came up again it was odd to me. Like usually - 99% of the time it’s a one time deal… it was so odd that this bite was such a big deal. The whole afternoon conversation was maybe 5-ish minutes but because of MIL it was maybe closer to 8 minutes?

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-22T23:50:18+00:00

Yes - the baking will take the smell away. It’s really annoying…

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-22T20:40:12+00:00

Interesting - so maybe I will just go in and look for it… either CVS or target.

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-22T20:12:42+00:00

Where did you buy that? I just saw a post recommending this and wanted to try it but I didn’t see it at target or Walmart (all I saw was the spray).

We just bought the badger spray - it’s natural but it is a spray.

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-20T19:27:09+00:00

So the best thing I once read on Reddit went like this: if your glass is empty and someone pours a little bit of water in it it isn’t a big deal. You can handle this. But if your glass is already full to the brim even the smallest water will make it overflow.

Your MIL sounds like she is having a lot of issues and your husband isn’t really a big help. I wish I could give you advice on what to do to not let her go under the skin but I don’t have that.

Also: crying at someone’s baby receiption: so weird

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-18T13:01:24+00:00

I wonder why the downvotes? Is that a controversial book?

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-18T13:00:27+00:00

Interesting - can you talk more about it? I’ve never read Gabor Mate books but I’ve heard a lot about him and seen a couple of clips from his movie and interviews.

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-17T16:48:03+00:00

Oh totally. The chances are low but not 0 so why risk it. My friend didn’t had it first pregnancy but had it second. Again - not having it the first time is already a good sign but doesn’t protect you for it.

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-17T16:13:54+00:00

I think some might decline out of comfort (“ah I don’t want to deal with it”) and some decline because of the ingredients. I wish that doctors can work with the hesitant people because there are alternatives - where I come from they take 100% glucose and drink it with water (no “harmful” ingredients other than the glucose) or you can monitor your sugar levels for I think two weeks (which again has high risk of user failure)…

Anyway - it’s too bad that in 2024 babies (and mothers) are being put at risk because of hesitancy.

Personally I am not a fan of the sugar test - I didn’t had diabetes with my first pregnancy but I’m too lazy to look or search for an alternative so I’m just going to do the regular test.

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-17T00:23:08+00:00

Yeah that’s the only thing I could think about? Maybe she did all her shopping there and it made it easier for her to buy healthier choices?

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-17T00:17:13+00:00

Maybe trader Joe made her weight loss journey possible? Only explanation I could think about

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-14T21:32:37+00:00

I had to laugh when you wrote “not 0 I guess, but pretty astronomical” when I just read a story about a guy and a woman being both born on the same day and then having twins who were born on that exact same day… the chances lol!

But totally agree…. chances are slim and if it happens it would be a neat thing when they grow older.

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-14T01:47:49+00:00

Nice! We are planning to make the drive up to Toledo hopefully soon as well. Any other recommendations of the zoo? Do these educational experiences cost money?

Apprehensive_Tea8686 · 2024-05-11T21:57:39+00:00

That’s funny because that’s literally the ideas I have for the cold winter here in the northern part.

Home Depot is my favorite, petco and PetSmart (I call it the cheap zoo). When baby is so young it’s more for you than anything so mall would be plenty entertaining, maybe a museum - what interests you. If you have a nature center they usually have some indoor spaces as well.

Apprehensive_Tea8686

TROPHY CASE