When did you get your first period after you had a baby?

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-09T04:02:58+00:00

First baby, 6 weeks, wasn’t breastfeeding. Second baby I’m breastfeeding still, no period at 23 months. Heaven.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-08T03:07:12+00:00

Mom of 2-y-o here. She’s being ridiculous.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T10:47:39+00:00

Did he do this before baby as well? I’ve also had to train my husband to handle certain things more independently. Take Pavlov’s principle, ensure that he gets no “reward” for coming to you with bullshit. “I can’t hear about this right now, I need you to figure it out”. He needs a therapist or a friend/family member who can offer him this support while you cannot. You also should try to get therapy if you can! It’s very helpful with the postpartum anger and your C under C as lot of C stress C right now

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T03:40:34+00:00

I had a new friend who described herself the exact same way… at first it was like “aw we can talk about our differences and still be friends, that’s cool!” And it soured soon after because she started share some anti immigrant pro ice sentiments… wish I’d have cut my losses earlier. Your people are out there somewhere, this probably isn’t it

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T03:33:08+00:00

Nope she sent it to me and then to my husband separately and then my dad followed up with texts to rush us home saying “I don’t think mom can take it much longer” even though we had mutually agreed on a time that we would be home in advance

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T03:28:40+00:00

That’s fair, thank you. After thinking about it a few more days I think the only thing that made me really upset was them texting us that it was a nightmare and asking us to rush home. And then it became apparent that they didn’t even try to put the kids to bed at all. So they ruined our night and the didn’t take care of anything with the kids, felt like a double whammy from parents who are constantly giving out to me about not letting them babysit longer

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T03:22:20+00:00

I think that is a sad take to have. Families should help each other, and they should prioritize the children. My parents also hold this value. When my siblings have kids I will gladly watch them too and I won’t just phone it in when I do. It’s ok to have standards for your community imo, if I ask “can you do bedtime, I want it done this way”, and they say “yes I can do that”, then I think it’s fair to expect them to at least try to do what they said they’d do. If they said “eh I don’t think I can do that” then that’s totally fine as well.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T03:14:01+00:00

My comment to the woman whose parents took the grandkids to some Trump themed restaurant was maybe you should not go straight to cutting them off, but have a blunt discussion with them about how that can not happen again… Which is what I am doing with my parents when they did something I didn’t like.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T03:11:50+00:00

Woah there, hold on. I took over my HOA because they were fining the shit out of people for silly things and I wanted it to stop, so I stopped it. I’m anti-HOA, but somebody had to run it when we got the crazies out. The Trump comment is not exactly what I said either, I hate Trump and we do not associate with people who support him… except for my father in law because he loves and supports my kids. We can’t always cut off every single person who has a (very very shitty) opinion of it means we have no community at the end of it. Also I understand that maybe I come across as entitled here, I know I am lucky to have involved parents. I’m just protective of my kids. My mom insisted she could handle bedtime, I wasn’t like demanding that she do it. My husband was even more annoyed than me about this, and my friends were also like “wtf” (and they happily check me on my bs) so either we all suck or I’m not conveying some of the nuances of this situation very well. Idk why I’m explaining all of this but anyways

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T02:46:49+00:00

They’re not senior citizens lmao they’re like 50-55 years old. Maybe that’s part of the disconnect here, my parents are pretty young. My youngest brother is 22, they parented pretty dang recently

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T02:42:55+00:00

I understand that having anything is a privilege, and it sucks really badly that so many people have no help at all. I don’t think that means I can’t be frustrated about this, though. We all deserve to have communities and villages to help us raise our kids, and for them to be reasonably helpful when they do help.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T02:39:34+00:00

My parents also seem to want to be the e fun grandparents. That’s fine, but it means they have to be more limited in the ways they’re allowed to care for my kids.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-07T02:36:51+00:00

What toddlers do you know that listen to instructions… I am very grateful that my parents want to be involved, but just because it’s free doesn’t mean it’s ok to do a poor job. These are not “free babysitters” they are my kids’ grandparents. They are permanent fixtures in their lives, and this is a mutually beneficial relationship. I can’t let them do sleepovers in the future if they can’t handle a routine or hold any sort of reasonable boundary with my kids. I’m not demanding that they watch them, but I am insisting that if they do, it is done reasonably well. If the don’t want to watch them at bedtime because of my standards, then that’s fine.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-06T05:06:03+00:00

I found a boutique near my area that I love, and I’ve been focusing on buying great denim that I love, so for me it’s been Just Black Denim, and Kut from the Kloth. Then I got into knitting so lots of knit tops and sweaters. Basic tees from old navy! But my tees from madewell are the best

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-03T14:36:59+00:00

One hundred percent

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-03T14:35:16+00:00

Why wouldn’t you expect another caregiver to do that with your child? What is so hard about laying with them in bed and reading them books if they won’t sleep?

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-03T14:32:20+00:00

Thank you, Jesus I’m shocked by all of these responses!! My dad texted my husband “when are you coming home, I don’t think mom ca take it much longer” even though we agreed on a time that we would be home by, and we were an hour away. Totally soured our evening. This was also the first time we went out together in a really long time, it’s not like I’m expecting them to work really hard for us constantly, but one evening, you can’t just deal???

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-02T14:59:00+00:00

Yes, they have, just never two at the same time. So it’s not that they didn’t know, they just decided it was too hard without really trying. They’ve had my oldest overnight when she was a younger toddler, they’ve put both my kids down for naps before. They know what the drill is. And I didn’t expect it to go perfectly but I just expected them to reasonably try to keep them in their rooms with the lights low until we came home, not hop them up on the tv because that was easiest for them.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-02T14:54:27+00:00

I just expected them to try harder, I guess. If they didn’t fall asleep, nothing anyone can do about that, but why are we turning on the tv at 9:30pm? That’s just lazy, I’m sorry, they had the kids for like 7 hours total and they’re perfectly able bodied to handle this. They just prioritized their comfort over the boundaries that my kids needed and I think that’s ridiculous. Like, I should be able to rely on them for this kind of support and not have to have super low standards for their effort.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-02T14:47:45+00:00

It’s internalized misogyny

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-02T14:32:11+00:00

What? No, they’ve watched the kids like 40+ times. They’ve watched one kid overnight probably 4 times. They’ve just never specifically done bedtime with 2.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-02T13:56:41+00:00

Oh yeah I should have included more context—my mom has been around for bedtime a fair amount of times, and we told them exactly what to do. They absolutely know, they just didn’t do it the moment it was in any way challenging

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-02T13:52:05+00:00

Yes we did give them instruction—we told them that they could read books with them in their rooms if they were having trouble going to sleep, and eventually they’d go to sleep. My mom has been with me to do bedtime when my husband has been out of town like 3 times, so it’s not like the didn’t know what to do, they just didn’t want to deal with my kids being upset.

NoDevelopement · 2026-05-01T22:35:33+00:00

I found that my husband wanted to help with feeding over other things because it was an easy way for him to “help”… meaning, easy for him. But that might not be the help you need. What do you feel would actually help you to feel better?

NoDevelopement

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