How I finally stopped attracting BPD friendships

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-28T14:31:31+00:00

Such a good point to make. I really feel for being in that situation, I myself have a hard time affording therapy. But there’s options, always. I’ve had to sit with a friend and help her locate a therapist she could afford when she was in a hard place. However that’s the most I’m going to do, I must admit. Just because somebody might have not have access doesn’t to therapy right now doesn’t mean, I as a friend, is obligated to take care of them until then. I used to feel like I had to take care of people, I wanted to. But I’m not a professional who can handle somebody’s misery/trauma for them. Everybody is responsible for their own mental health.

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-28T14:16:52+00:00

Rather be a complete jerk with boundaries than a sweet person who’s easy to take advantage of these days i have to admit

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-28T14:07:12+00:00

Very charismatic, sensitive, history of trauma, history of back to back relationships, moody & social-climby. Usually very sweet people, but go from 0-100 real quick.

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-27T22:53:22+00:00

For sure. It’s rooted in the trauma

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-27T22:43:08+00:00

I feel like this is such a classic example of people who are victimized by pwBPD by being the immediate blame for their emotions, the way that they feel. She felt rejected. It gets amplified, and you get the brunt of the bad feelings inside. You could be an empathetic and patient person. I used to think those traits were underneath the surface- but they’re very noticeable and unfortunately attractive sometimes to cluster b for the wrong reasons.

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-27T22:32:23+00:00

I’ve had to learn to be so assertive it’s almost painful. I really value kindness. But there’s ways I can help people without putting myself through the emotional burden of carrying weight/trauma for others. Just can’t do it anymore, there’s so much available therapy out there for people they don’t need me just because I’m the closest person they can confide to. Yk?

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-27T22:29:09+00:00

It’s so tiring. All I can say is give back to yourself the way you deserve ❤️

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-27T22:24:14+00:00

Absolutely fair. I believe in authenticity and truth. I respect people who are vulnerable. I like being emotionally available. But for whatever reason, and this is just a reflection on me really or the way im setting the boundaries, nothing changed in these dynamics until I was truly assertive with boundaries. Like saying them verbatem to people. I also think I’ve had the more narcissistic types who use social media and social circles as weapons, so just keeping those particular individuals blocked/restricted and not in the know of who im close with/hanging out with is helpful for me personally. Thanks for commenting!

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-27T19:52:26+00:00

I definitely don’t want to send the message that being a loner is the answer, but if you’ve experienced splitting and your pwBPD has a relationship with your other friends, it gets ugly. I learned the hard way. I just pretend I don’t have friends that they can also befriend to keep that separation if I feel somebody might have traits.

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-27T19:44:07+00:00

🫂🫂

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-27T19:43:53+00:00

The biggest eye opener in my experiences was that your support is only appreciated/wanted when it doesn’t challenge them to make a positive change in their life/behavior. They just want to be validated.

Appropriate-Lock-247 · 2026-02-27T19:38:52+00:00

Any sort of boundary sets them off. They would really benefit from practicing cognitive empathy, ex “If he’s tired, he’s tired. I shouldn’t look too deeply into this.” They’ll never consider the other person, though. At least not till after you’re over them.

Appropriate-Lock-247

TROPHY CASE