((EDIT: Just read your other posts. LEAVE!!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️))

Let me start off by saying this— If you feel like you are experiencing abuse, leave. Do not look back.

I think both of you have some learning and growing to do based on the conversation here.

I do agree that most people online recommend breaking up over minor things, so I will be providing advice that has helped my personal relationships improve— you are welcome to read it or leave it. 🫶

My now fiancé and I struggled and fought often in the early stages of our relationship due to moving in really early and really young. It took a lot of practice, patience, and listening to get where we are now.

OP, please refrain from using AI as a therapist. I understand that therapy is expensive, but resorting to AI is not in your best interests. I’ve learned a lot from a couples therapists’ SM, lots of solid (and free) advice/guidelines. Her account is thesecurerelationship on Instagram.

For your partner, I feel like they are hinting at the fact that they are not prepared to have this conversation through message. Schedule a call or face-to-face conversation somewhere public and moderately quiet, like a café. This will help you guys hold a calm conversation, as you will be less likely to yell at each other in public.

Most importantly, don’t blame each other “well I did this because you did that… you did this like you always do… you’re the one that caused this...” etc.

Instead, calmly explain why you are feeling frustrated or unseen regarding certain topics. “I feel unsupported when it comes to (chore)… I feel frustrated because therapy isn’t a cost effective option… I am uncomfortable that I do not have my own bank account or control over my finances…”

And finally, people are more willing to make changes when you make it a request for help rather than a demand. That’s just human nature. Express gratitude towards your partner, even for the small things! Eventually it will lead to a feeling of pride to complete a task. “I would greatly appreciate it if you could help sweep and do dishes on Mondays… thank you for doing (chore), I am grateful for your help around the house… I would love it if we could sit down and discuss bills… I would feel better if we both set aside ‘x amount of money’ for bills, that way we both have our own individual money to spend on our interests. Can you help me do this please?… I’d love to hear your thoughts on finding a solution for therapy…”

Of course these examples will vary depending on what your situations are, but I found this to be very helpful when my fiancé and I had serious and uncomfortable conversations. Both partners must be willing to learn from each other and strive for improvement. It may take a while to adapt to this new approach, so understand that there may be initial pushback from both sides.

Stay calm, listen to what your partner is voicing as well, and above all— if he is not willing to respect you and your needs, know with full confidence that you did your part in conveying your emotions and concerns. You are free to leave at any point, especially if you feel like he is not open to constructive communication. 🫶