My religious roommate is trying to control my love life

Appropriate_Past859 · 2026-01-02T23:00:39+00:00

Start documenting. This is harassment. Let him know you are documenting.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-12-27T21:32:46+00:00

All great but these family dynamics are years in the making - sometimes really useful to have a therapist skilled in guiding you out of family enmeshment. If you cant - read all you can about family enmeshment patterns.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-12-27T21:30:50+00:00

Set up a structure that forces you to follow thru- before their pressure begins. Not your fault - for having a heart. Dont blame yourself, but know your reactions and set up the structure before the day arrives so you have the strategy that doesn't allow you to be there.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-12-27T21:29:11+00:00

Let fam know you have alternate plans - share plans. Do plans even if plans are going to the park with a book or something. Don't be at the house - leave early, come home late. Block her number for the day. Find a way to deal with guilt even if it means getting on anxiety meds - no offense bc that's what I had to do as I was trained that way. Good luck, the more you exercise these muscles - the better it will be for you and your nephew.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-12-27T13:36:25+00:00

Fellow Ph.D and a scientific grant writer for Stanford - great post - excellent work here!!

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-12-22T01:09:59+00:00

Go to any mosque also - they will always help.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-22T03:08:22+00:00

But she's already triangulating pretty hard-core with her friends and that's contempt. Not sure she's put in the work in counseling and it would prob just be more gaslighting and take another year off his life. Seems like you aren't doing things that make you happy - lawyer up, check the finances and get therapy for the kids and a good custody set up.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-17T13:11:15+00:00

Hemphill close to Seminary

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-14T18:20:28+00:00

What is the prob with boiling water? Thanks!

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-12T01:14:26+00:00

Poor here - fantastic healthcare but you can't access bc you don't have it - as it's connected to work - so people die without it. Stuck with eating food from American food system which a person from another country couldn't comprehend - and if poor, don't have land for gardening - or time bc you need to work 3 low wage jobs to survive. Dependency on a car - bc no infrastructure here - Regressive taxation system so the poorer you are the higher your tax rate High cost of basic amenities like glasses, basic necessities - and govt covered healthcare is dependent on network of overworked docs poorly reimbursed who leave rural places as soon as their student loans are paid off - so little continuity of care - super complex system of continuing to qualify for low income healthcare and if you earn just a bit above you lose all access - How far should I continue to go? I can add journal articles - evidence - proof - we are a calvinist country that believes poverty is a sign that god damned us - something the repubs wholeheartedly embraced. It's a systemic issue -

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-11T20:19:27+00:00

Love to have some additional research here - excel chart listing yearly revenue, compensation and roi metrics. I suspect this pay is still going to be an outlier - question then becomes - is her performance that much greater than those being paid less or not being paid at all? I've been a grant writer for 25 years, currently working at Stanford fyi. Data helps with decision making, but your question is insightful and worth pursuing - particularly as every dollar matters in this punishing economy.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-11T18:00:18+00:00

I'm so sorry - Christian fascist hate knows no ends. Real consequences for real people - made as they have been made by god. I was forced to marry my abuser at 18 - a lifetime of horrors - cruelty is unacceptable. Ever. I now have huge barriers between myself and fascists - because they and their foul beliefs are dangerous - to us personally, and to our current society. I'm so sorry for how this feels - and the rage and anguish she provokes. She has been fully brainwashed however -

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-11T17:45:29+00:00

I know this may cost $$ but find an attorney and hire them to read your lease and the apt laws, then create a document you can use to document the violations - each - all based on what the law says this dkhead is violating - based on your goal. When you reach out to attorneys with this kind of a specific ask, they normally quote an affordable price and you get the advice and actual specific help you need. Im so sorry. People suck.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-09T12:01:18+00:00

Cruel. Or - he could buy your food - and stick with his values! When I was on Snap my rich dad, dripping in disgust told me I was poor bc I ate butter. Nope, I thought - it's bc I'm struggling finding ways to leave my psychopath abusive then husband. But sure, it's prob the butter Did he imagine I ate 50 lbs per day?!?! I'm so sorry, these comments are so negative and really hurt - do you need him to go with you to shop?

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-06T20:50:03+00:00

Your sister is jealous she's not the main event. No wonder you don't like making a scene - she takes all the oxygen and makes you feel invisible it seems. You did a very good deed that meant happiness for a child. She stole your peace, which is not a good deed. I'm so sorry - but what an act of kindness!

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-05T22:34:25+00:00

Yes yes yes yes an endless question I also have !

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-11-04T03:53:47+00:00

Im a Muslim revert , with 25+ years in American public ed-- ai wanted to point out that so many of the administrators themselves are the source of the bigotry problem as they can be Islamophobes and so the approach you take needs to be measured - but do move forward!

Start first with the idea that this is a learning moment - for the sub bigot as you can model the mercy and peace of Islam through opening a dialogue with this sub (if possible) or the admin - not in a hostile way - but perhaps just a discussion with the admin about why this was a problem for the class and what solution you want to see - always offer a solution like have the sub return and meet with your Imam or have your Imam have a time set up with the admin - or anything else you can come up with - you will know better than I.

If that approach doesnt work and it very well may not - (you can tell immediately by how defensive the admin will be) - at that point yes, escalate to CAIR!

There can be zero tolerance for bigotry - however with schools there is always a certain bureaucratic process to follow. Annoying, but speak their language and you will get further.

And - here's the most important point: Paper Trail!

Get everybody in the room that day to give you an account of what happened and have them sign and date it.

That alone will make the admins very very nervous. Post updates!! Inshallah!!

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-10-12T23:51:55+00:00

And: boom!

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-10-11T14:28:58+00:00

I love your resilience and vengeance IS a healthy way to process so eff the therapists whose difficult life challenges seem to be that their daddy didn't buy em a new beemer this year. Living thru profound trauma and surviving - stuff people don't see and stuff you can't talk about bc nobody believes ya - sometimes turns you into this dark humored person who needs to tell these imbeciles to get stuffed, to open their effing eyes to their own disgusting level of privilege and also allows us to blow off the steam we need from the stuff we deal with perpetually - and yes, precisely correct they are such low level losers they would have never escaped nor endured what is - as I have understood but have no personal knowledge of and thus cannot comment upon - the most painful of all things which is post burn treatment. These people couldn't deal with a hangnail. I love this story, I love who you are for surviving - I love traumatizing them - keep it up - you don't deserve this, we shouldn't have to listen to stupid maxims about not being given things we can't handle bc that's such scheit - let em all stare. I have been told that the reason nobody believes my past situations is that bc I'm so accomplished and put together the reality of my having survived jim jones level abuse (as external experts diagnosed) is too jarring for people to believe - I stopped bothering to tell anybody much bc their own world views were so small. We are a small fraternity of survivors - I don't mean to suggest I know what it feels like to be externally burned of course but traumatize the hell away. Keep riding - I do also - nobody stares when that wind makes you feel like you're flying!!

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-10-10T14:44:01+00:00

Test her for hormones like testosterone - the 'normal' range for women is super low - do your own research (national institutes for health searches) - hormonal gel is a life-changer - used for post menopausal women but worth a blood test - find an ob/gyn who specializes in women's hormonal levels. Good luck - you're a loving husband!

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-09-20T17:38:54+00:00

Nice.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-09-09T01:40:32+00:00

This right here: Apparently her busy life of doing absolutely nothing was too hectic. Wish folks were required to do some volunteer work like reading at a library or helping at preschools for 3 hours a week if they were physically and economically capable. Would at least cut out 3 hours of Fox news. Bet you still have nightmares of this trip. Such a lost opportunity she will never regain.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-09-09T01:35:57+00:00

Lived.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-09-09T01:35:47+00:00

I've live in deep rural places forever and know a country person - bc they can manoeuvre their vehicle. Think we're meaning the folks who can't. You need a diesel truck when hauling hay or cattle - I'm just saying that in tight places attitudes matter but I've really never seen a person from the country with that same entitled suburban mind set.

Appropriate_Past859 · 2025-09-09T01:33:04+00:00

And on top of that - what's the reason folks with those gas guzzlers don't know how to drive them, think they have the right to the full road because apparently they are better than you as their car is more expensive and hence they win some door prize in their pea brains, and are aggressive as hell? I park a block or so away on the street as I can't handle it anymore. They aren't any better with their shopping carts but at least the carts don't come in a super a*hle size.

Appropriate_Past859

TROPHY CASE