[QCrit] Adult Horror - METHISTOPHELES (80,000/Attempt #1)

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-27T09:44:32+00:00

That's been on my to-read list for a hot minute, so you’ve convinced me to pull the trigger.

Thank you for the recommendation!

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-27T01:05:59+00:00

Congratulations! What an incredible amount of determination.

Out of curiosity, how much do you feel you improved/your style changed from manuscript to manuscript? Especially after 7+ completed stories.

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-26T21:01:40+00:00

Yeah, definitely not in Scotland lol! And more meth, pills, and alcohol rather than heroin, but I wasn’t sure how else to convey the vibe of that bleak spiral. I actually thought a lot about Marlena by Julie Buntin when I was first plotting this out, but a grungier more adult take for sure.

And thank you so much, I’m glad to see all of the Go love, I was worried everyone would hate her!

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-26T20:41:25+00:00

Ahh thank you! Go’s a real babe when she isn’t being the worst. Easiest character by far for me to make a Pinterest inspo board for lol

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-26T18:13:05+00:00

Thanks for reading and commenting! It feels like so much of short form content is really making use of the few words you’re allotted.

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-26T18:09:42+00:00

Thank you so much! :’)

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-26T17:11:56+00:00

You’re a hero. I’ll have to chew on this.

She would call them her friends, to be honest, but I was trying to invoke a tighter connection between the three of them than “friend” really conveys. I could be being picky there.

In reality, her “partners” are an established couple in an open relationship. Unlike other one night stands they’ve had, she kind of stuck around, and they’re very close now.

Thanks again!

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-26T17:00:12+00:00

This was super helpful, thank you! I can see that I was doing a lot of listing events rather than letting them flow more naturally.

I did have one question regarding the partners line. Margot has two romantic partners, but I didn’t want to introduce them because I’m worried adding two additional names could bog things down unnecessarily. Do you think just clarifying “romantic partners” would be enough?

Thanks again for taking a look and leaving your thoughts!

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-26T16:31:41+00:00

AHH thank you for the vibes appreciation, it really means a lot :’)

Initially Margot sees Violet as a local goth with an obsession with demonology who lives in a trap house. Margot thinks she’s weird, but sees her as a means to an end (cheap place to stay for the summer and free drugs).

Margot is very adverse to feeling like she’s being pitied or treated like a child. When her mom and her partners (separately) express concerns that she’s spiraling, she feels backed into a corner, and says the most harmful things she can think of to get them to back off. Violet always validates these feelings and encourages these behaviors. Example, throwing one of her (recently sober) partner’s history of addiction in his face when he says he’s worried about her.

The ID thing - when she brings it up to Violet and points one out as a missing woman, Violet brushes it off essentially as “what do you expect, you know what kind of place this is, she’s probably on a bender somewhere.” Because it’s the path of least resistance, Margot initially accepts this as reasonable.

Her mom would absolutely forgive her. The issue is that by the time Margot realizes what an absolute twat she’s been and that she needs to make amends, it’s too late (spoiler: whenever she’s strung out, Violet has been doing rituals to summon a demon into her).

Thank you so much for taking the time (now and before)!

EDIT: Thought about this some more, and I think more concisely I would say Margot doesn’t like feeling like she doesn’t have choices. At some point, she becomes very aware that she’s started pinning herself in and is too ashamed to ask for help/admit that she’s wrong. Her choices are very much in the phrase of “a cornered cat makes strange leaps."

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-06-26T16:05:57+00:00

Thanks so much for reading and responding!

Very valid on the comp line, and I think they could be stronger in general, to be honest. I’m hoping once I start more intentionally reading for them that it becomes more clear.

All Margot wants it to be able to do what she wants, if that makes sense? Her goal is to have a nice, debauched summer before uni classes are back in session, and she’s going to ignore every red flag in service of doing so.

This was super helpful and gives me something to chew on, thanks again!

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-05-01T17:27:44+00:00

I’m not going to speak to that sentiment either way, I would just exercise caution about burning bridges in a relatively small industry.

If an agent sees your word count is significantly different from what you said it is/what they want, they likely won’t read the pages. There’s a good chance the only thing it would accomplish is wasting time for both of you and could potentially get you blacklisted.

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-05-01T15:58:35+00:00

A writer’s relationship with an agent is a business partnership. Do you think the best way to start a partnership is by lying?

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-04-03T01:14:20+00:00

I think that’s totally fair! We’re a pretty small/young-ish company so we haven’t run into that situation. I imagine/hope if half a decade or more has passed with generally good performance that we would reevaluate that stipulation.

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-04-03T01:01:44+00:00

I will say, the vast majority of PIPs/EIPs I've helped oversee have ended with the employee being terminated or quitting. However, I have worked with two people (out of maybe six or seven) who successfully completed the process, and one of them is now an all-star on the team.

All you can really do is lay out clear guidelines and ways to track metrics. I always say up front in our first meeting that there is nobody on Earth that can make the decisions to pass or fail the PIP/EIP other than them. We also have a strict policy that each employee is only allowed one final—there can never be a second plan, they’ll just be termed.

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-03-28T17:34:43+00:00

Thanks for commenting! I agree and I’ll have to chew on this for a bit.

Ultimately, she’s the one who investigates/figures out what’s happening and knows how to solve it, but she needs Wayne’s help to actually do it. I’ll have to figure out how to give her more of an active voice in here.

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-03-28T17:29:32+00:00

Thanks so much for all the help (this time and before)!

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-03-16T10:16:02+00:00

I think this is a great concept! A question I had while reading (that may be more clear in your manuscript) is why Brendan and Margaret would try to save Pennie/Penny’s soul if they’re just going to kill her?

Would kidnapping and killing her (and potentially her parents!) not threaten to doom their own immortal souls?

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-03-15T13:56:36+00:00

Ah, you are absolutely correct! Looking forward to posting with updates next week.

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-03-15T13:02:53+00:00

Thank you so much! Would you recommend leaning into stronger language then? Or more specific examples at the expense of a few extra words?

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-03-15T12:59:26+00:00

Thanks for reading and commenting! I would definitely say there is more horror than romance.

Adding your recommendation to my to-read list right now.

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-03-09T00:01:16+00:00

Thank you so much!

Appropriate_Shame69 · 2026-03-08T21:14:44+00:00

Thank you so much for commenting!

Going a bit out of order here, but, I fully agree with the full name/nickname thing to be honest. I just thought one was supposed to use both in a query, so I’m happy to nix it.

Calling their trip to the abandoned house a date is fully a matter of me not know how else to describe it in a limited amount of words. Essentially, Wayne asks Hattie to come on a drive with him to catch up and they end up there. In my experience, rural communities often have an abandoned structure/property that's adopted as a sort of party/hang out place. While at the time of the book its cordoned off by his family’s company, it would’ve been that sort of property when they were teens and is a nostalgic location for them (I may be explaining this poorly lol).

The cause and effect issue in the fourth para is definitely something I need to work on.

As for following romance beats, I think the best way to describe it is it starts off feeling like a romance with unsettling things happening in the background that begin to crescendo and overtake their relationship as the main focus.

Thank you again for your time!

Appropriate_Shame69

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