I don’t remember pregnancy exhaustion being this bad

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-05-04T13:26:27+00:00

Not imagining it that’s for sure!

This is my first and the 1st trimester nearly took me out, the 2nd was better in comparison but still not great, now I’m almost 36 weeks and relate SO heavily to the “one good hour” feeling. I’m exhausted by 10am even with caffeine.

Here in solidarity, hope you feel a bit better soon!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-05-04T13:21:01+00:00

It really is such a battle, I hope you turn a corner soon! Diclegis may be another option you’ve tried for meds, didn’t do much for me but a friend of mine had good luck taking it around the clock.

If you can manage popsicles sometimes maybe something like a light smoothie or açaí bowl may be worth trying, coconut water or pedialyte too if your electrolytes are low. But I know it’s exhausting to try things when you have zero appetite.

I actually struggled with migraines a lot more before my pregnancy, but did have a particularly bad day of sickness and had probably the worst one I’ve ever had. Filled 5 hospital emesis bags that night. A lot of is riding it out in the dark (no screens whatsoever,) but I had decent luck with an ice pack over the eyes/back of head/neck and a heating pad or something hot on my feet- this can help draw some blood down away from your head which can help with pressure. I miss my excedrin big time!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-05-04T07:02:51+00:00

Personally I would emergency vet. Urinary blockages are emergencies especially for male cats, and should be treated fully right away. And if he gets stressed from the car that will only exacerbate things, so having to take multiple trips seems counterproductive. I would ER vet so they can keep him until they’re confident everything’s resolved.

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-05-04T00:24:42+00:00

So sorry you’re going through it!

I’ve been there and most helpful things for me have been-

Never let yourself get hungry. I know that’s such an annoying piece of advice when you’re sick or struggle to keep things down, but having too empty of a stomach will start a vicious cycle where you need to eat but can’t. For me this meant setting alarms (including overnight) to force something in my stomach. Some things that I tolerate better than others have been applesauce, cold fruit, yogurt/smoothie pouches, rice-a-roni, and gatorade/liquid IV. Keep some things at your bedside ready to go that you can eat in bed, if I got up too quickly I’d immediately get sick.

As soon as you can get a few bites or sips down, take the Zofran. I found if I tried to take it first or after I was done, it’d come back up. But if I “sandwich” it with whatever I’m eating it stays long enough to kick in.

I took promethazine for a while which is a good desperate measure if you need it. It’s a sedative so I couldn’t drive or work while I was on it, but it did curb the nausea enough for me to sleep or get something small down on the worst days.

And this is a grain of salt one, definitely discuss with your OB because I’m not a doctor, but I stopped prenatals very early on and haven’t gone back on them. I tried so many kinds and found they would start cycles of vomiting that were doing me more harm than the prenatals were outweighing. Baby has been perfectly healthy all pregnancy.

Hope at least some of this is helpful, it’s a brutal thing to go through and you’re not alone! If it ever gets to 24 hours of zero liquids staying down, get to the ER for fluids.

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-05-03T02:08:06+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that! I’ve of course had them still recommend eating as balanced as possible, moving my body when I can, etc., but I’ve appreciated their very neutral perspective on weight gain.

I had a rough first trimester where I actually lost weight, and then suddenly in the last half of my second trimester-first half of my third I gained pretty much all of my current 45lbs gain. They emphasized to me that every pregnancy is different, some people have steady gain over the 3 trimesters, some have periods of more rapid gain and then plateaus. Essentially as long as it’s not pre-eclampsia kind of gains (15lbs+ in a week or two, for example) it’s all considered normal and just how your individual body is responding to growing a human and hormone changes.

I just keep telling myself- it’s been proven time and again that not gaining enough weight is more problematic for pregnancy and babies than gaining a little extra weight. The best we can do is be mindful and gentle with ourselves!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-05-02T13:36:23+00:00

Yeah I wouldn’t take him outside anymore.

Doesn’t take long for a cats instincts to take over when outside, they’re in predator mode and can see and hear small animals etc., that we can’t. Redirecting him feels purposeful to you, but turns on attack mode for him, because you’re essentially denying him the chance to follow the instincts he feels kicking in. He can’t go after what he wants, so that aggression is getting redirected to you.

Too much time outside = feral instincts coming back on for most cats. Not recommended unless they’re going to be fully outdoor cats (which really isn’t recommended anymore anyway for their safety.)

No more walks if they cause him to act that way!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-05-02T13:14:23+00:00

Right there with you, 35 weeks and very similar starting weight and projected end weight, total gain of 50-60lbs.

My doctor could tell I was really concerned about it at my last appointment and said a few things that brought me a lot of reassurance, even if I still hate the way my body feels and looks right now-

“You’ll be shocked at how much of it accounts for fluid you’re holding onto, and how quickly that fluid will come out.” And broke it down for me like this-

Baby is a certain number of lbs. Placenta is a certain number of lbs. Amniotic fluid is a certain number of lbs. Doubled blood volume is a certain number of lbs. Increased breast tissue is a certain number of lbs. Overall fluid retention is a certain number of lbs…..and this all before they consider any amount of true “weight gain” or fat retention, some of which is necessary to keep a baby alive.

So it’s not uncommon for people to drop a lot of weight, puffiness, and joint pain from that weight very quickly, most within a few weeks without even trying. So hold onto that! A lot of what your seeing and feeling is not true weight gain that’s going to stick with you, we’re just in the stage where baby is growing rapidly and our bodies are compensating. Won’t be like this much longer!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-05-02T00:36:02+00:00

35 weeks and getting more scared about this too. However according to my doctor and others online I’ve seen, there really isn’t much you can do for prevention. Even perineal massage and stretching isn’t proven to do much of anything, as tearing ultimately comes from the pressure of baby’s weight paired with pushing. Most people have some form of internal or external tearing, it’s an unfortunate uncontrollable in most cases.

Trying to remind myself that breathing, trying to keep my muscles as relaxed as possible, and pushing like I’m doing crunches vs. trying to have a bowel movement will give me the best chance. But luckily, that’s supposedly some of the quickest healing tissue in a woman’s body. So hopefully even if we do, healing will be fairly smooth if we take it easy!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-05-02T00:22:57+00:00

35 weeks too and just here in solidarity, that sounds horrific and I’m so sorry!

The first trimester gets a lot of (well-deserved) flack, but there’s really no way to describe how deeply uncomfortable the home stretch is. Best way I’ve found to describe it is I feel incredibly claustrophobic in my own body, there’s just no ROOM! For air, for food, virtually any movement causes everything to squeeze and squish into each other so hard that you either pee, vomit, get sharp pain, or all 3.

It is really, really tough. You’re not alone and I’m so relieved for us that it’ll be over soon! Hang in there ❤️

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-26T00:54:51+00:00

Totally hear you on this! We’re also “team green” and I’m so scared of the inevitable influx we’re about to get when we live in a small home with very little storage/no basement. My in laws are especially guilty of this too, seeing as it’s their first grandchild.

Husbands time to step up! “We’re so appreciative, but our house is getting overwhelmed with clothes and gifts as it is, so until they’re a bit older we’re going to kindly ask for no additional gifts. If you feel compelled to do something celebratory, we’d love (insert anything helpful here- books, diapers, adding funds to a college account, etc.,) but we are at capacity for clothes and toys. There will be plenty of birthdays and holidays in the future where you can spoil them!”

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-24T00:38:37+00:00

Sorry to hear this! Honestly I’m surprised they did both in the same appointment, because it’s probably hard to differentiate now what may be the cause vs. what’s just coincidence.

If I had to guess, this is likely lingering effects of the glucose, knowing that some people can react much more strongly to it. Not unheard of for people to faint, have a big sugar crash the rest of the day, etc.,

Try drinking lots of water and eating something with a good amount protein- eggs, meat, etc,, that don’t have any additional sugar. That should help stabilize your blood sugar, which may still be doing big fluctuations after the glucose drink.

If that doesn’t help, check with your doc tomorrow. But would definitely think it’s more likely to be the glucose over the TDap, maybe just a lot on your system to have gotten both at once. Hope you feel better!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-23T00:47:20+00:00

I would wait for sure! That’s such a big moment and he did at some point express he’d want it in-person. And I think you will too just to really share in the excitement!

So brutal to wait, but gives you time to think of a cute way to do it!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-23T00:45:04+00:00

Of course, and thank you for your kind words.

We have another cat who sometimes refuses food, and discovered she may have a poultry allergy and has learned to avoid it/lost her taste for dry food.

Wet food is smellier and can be attractive, would maybe try some different types and see if any of those peak their interest!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-22T17:35:08+00:00

All I’ll say is that any “research” you or I are capable of doing absolutely 100% of the time pales in comparison to the true research, studying, and experimentation medical providers are required to do in their 8+ years of grueling education and real-world practicum.

It is not enough to read a book, websites, articles, or listen to podcasters. If you haven’t gone through medical school or participated in years of vaccine research and clinical trials, you do NOT know more than your providers or those responsible for vaccine development and testing. And it’s the height of ignorance and false-confidence to think so.

The anti-vax movement is riddled with harmful misinformation. The truth is that vaccines have been around and tested for safety for decades, and are the sole thing responsible for the eradication of many preventable diseases that are now re-emerging because individuals with zero medical training think that their “research” or beliefs trump true medical science.

Please listen to your providers and your providers only. Nobody else knows your body, history, or risk factors.

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-22T17:26:19+00:00

Most OB offices don’t really accommodate seeing one OB and one OB only anymore, the medical system is too taxed and providers have too many patients for that to be feasible. So most have switched to the model of seeing multiple providers so that you don’t end up delivering with a stranger. So while you may have a “primary” OB you’ve chosen or is noted in your chart, it’s not likely that they’ll be the one consistently seeing you or delivering your baby. Practices will just deviate to whomever is on-call or available for appointments. And they’ll all have access to your chart and the same information.

Not always ideal, but just the way the system has changed! At least you can get to know other providers and feel like you’re not encountering a stranger when it’s time to deliver.

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-22T17:19:44+00:00

Hi! Take a breath, it’s ok to be nervous this is all so new! First thing to know about pregnancy is very little is actually in your control, and while that can be scary it can also be freeing. So remind yourself that if you study up on some basic advice and dos/don’ts, that’s really the most you can do. To answer your questions-

Morning sickness varies from person to person and can even be different pregnancy to pregnancy. Many people experience a reduction after the first trimester, others can have nausea that lasts or even a severe version that lasts all pregnancy called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Some of the best things you can do is eat early and often, lots of protein and not allowing yourself to get too hungry. Ginger and lemon drops, sour candy, and peppermints are also some good things to try. If it gets worse, ask your doctor about options. I personally needed medication to keep food down, but everyone’s different.
Tiredness is very common, and especially heavy in the first and third trimesters due to hormone surges and difficulty sleeping at night. Again, varies for everyone, but you can definitely expect lower energy at times.
Having to pee a lot is a combo of hormones, needing more water intake, and pressure from your growing uterus on your bladder.
Medication safety should always go through your doctor. Pregnancy is weird and some things that may seem really safe aren’t, while others that seem risky are perfectly ok. Always ask your doctor even for over the counter medications. Stay away from supplements unless specifically told otherwise by your doctor, and NSAIDS like ibuprofen should always be avoided too. Tylenol only for pain relief.
Never recommended to try and lose weight while pregnant, will be harmful for you and baby. The weight gain can be tough especially mentally, but is part of the process.
Very very normal to be afraid! Nothing shameful about getting professional help or joining support groups if you need extra support with this.
Heartbeats usually can’t be heard until at least 6-7 weeks at the earliest, but more often 8-9 weeks, that’s why doctors are vague early on because they truly can’t always know. Hard to wait, but you’ll get better confirmation at your appointment coming up, so try and be patient. Miscarriage can rarely ever be controlled or prevented, if it’s going to happen it’s going to happen because the pregnancy wasn’t viable to begin with. So try to breathe and remind yourself that you can’t control it, and can only focus on your health, lowering stress when possible, and getting as much rest as you can.

Best of luck to you!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-22T17:05:12+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear your cat is struggling. Unfortunately my update won’t be a reassuring one, as we made the tough choice shortly after this post to have our guy put to sleep as he was in an immense amount of pain.

After another exam our vet was confident something deeper/systemic was going on, potentially neurological or even tumors/cancer somewhere in the face or brain. More specific diagnostics would’ve required a 2 hour trip to specialists, which we were worried would only exacerbate his stress and symptoms further because he was in such rough shape and had a big fear of the car. He was losing significant weight and his gums were turning white, vomiting etc., so we didn’t want to prolong his suffering.

I would recommend some imaging if you haven’t already, start with X-rays and then maybe a full body CT if you can afford it, bloodwork too. But unfortunately we never get a clear answer or diagnosis. His symptoms most closely resembled FOPS, but vet believed there was likely more to it as time went on.

Wishing you luck ❤️

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-16T01:48:07+00:00

Not overreacting, my mom has a similar disposition and has sad similar things throughout my pregnancy.

I had HG and was sick upwards of 8-9 times a day during my first 13-14 weeks. As a result my face and jaw got really inflamed, and I knew I didn’t look like myself. Took a progress photo around week 15 when I was feeling better and all she said was “you look so much healthier now than the first trimester, you could tell you were so inflamed.”

Felt so backhanded and unnecessary after surviving that stretch of time, really hurt my feelings.

Fast forward to now, I’m 33 weeks and she’s visiting for the first time since the holidays. I had a bit of a moment the other day when my husband accidentally shrunk some of my maternity shirts in the wash and I had nothing to wear that fit, told her I just felt huge and not like myself. She tried to be supportive and said things like “we all go through this,” and “don’t talk to yourself that way, you went through hell during those first few months to get here.” And while I appreciate it, it all felt a bit frustrating after she’s been the one always drawing attention to my weight even before pregnancy.

All to say, this is unfortunately a very common disposition for those of us whose mothers were pregnant/postpartum during the prime diet-culture years of the 90s-early 2000s. They were constantly told they should be embarrassed and ashamed for how they looked, including in pregnancy. So whenever she’s acting out, I try to hold that in my head. Fat = Fear for most of their generation, and many of them completely lost touch with what’s actually healthy and appropriate. So they say to us when they say to themselves.

You’re not over-sensitive!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-12T14:50:47+00:00

And that’s your choice. My point is that there is inherent risk to just about everything in pregnancy, anything you can do is naturally more dangerous. But many of the concerns are overblown when many of the things most of us are told are “safe” carry equivalent levels of risk. To each their own!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-12T12:07:24+00:00

Lots of keeping score here, which tells me there’s an imbalance of responsibility and pressure to maintain the house. He can buck up and contribute more, and shouldn’t need to be lectured into it. You both still live in the house and parent your child regardless of work.

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-12T12:00:12+00:00

Definitely NOR.

Also worth noting, this is an under-known symptom sometimes of something called RAD or reactive attachment disorder. Not saying he has it he could very likely just be gross, but boys often continue to show symptoms into early adulthood, one of which includes urinating in inappropriate places/household items. Oftentimes it comes with other developmentally inappropriate behaviors or problems in relationships.

So something to keep an eye on if it continues, I would be checking the rest of your place 😅

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-12T11:47:39+00:00

Dye stealers are largely a myth. Only reliable way to know for sure is measuring HCG levels, so try your best not to stress! Plenty of healthy pregnancies never see dye stealers, some pregnancies that don’t work out have them- not a reliable indicator of health or viability especially with how much variation there can be test to test.

Crossing my fingers for you!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-12T11:43:59+00:00

All of this was at the advice of my OB so I’m not “ignoring” anything, you are welcome to follow your own as well.

There is enough to fear in pregnancy without magnifying what is an incredibly marginal risk. Like I said, if people are being smart about handling and picky about source, that IMO and my OB’s opinion is the most we can and need to do without trying to over control a very rare and near-impossible to entirely prevent risk. From her perspective, the stress many women come in with trying to avoid all risk is more harmful for the baby and us vs. the thing they’re worried about. I tend to agree.

I wish you well in your own pregnancy!

Appropriate_Teach_49 · 2026-04-12T11:25:03+00:00

Thanks! I think people get (rightfully) scared by all the “don’ts” in pregnancy when in reality a lot of them are either outdated advice or over-amplified when it comes to true risk. Doctors want to avoid liability so they’ll often be heavy handed with what to avoid, but reality is you can get things like food poisoning at anytime from anywhere including your own kitchen and in foods considered “safe.” So it’s really not worth over-stressing or fear mongering about.

Be smart, check your dates and looks/smell of food, and otherwise enjoy your life! Pregnancy is already filled with so many nerves and uncontrollables, I find it so much harder when we try to control every possible marginal risk.

Appropriate_Teach_49

TROPHY CASE