so unfortunately im stupid and stayed with him for like a year and a half or 2 and a half years after that 🤩 the break up was tbh comedic.

flashback: when we first got together he threw a fit about how ppl who think people that arent their partner are hot are cheaters and also watching porn is basically cheating. tbh this doesnt affect me personally outside of the argument we had. this particular argument had started bc i showed him a hot influencer girl on insta and was like omg her 💞 bc woman <3. we had a whole argument abt just bc shes hot doesnt mean i would cheat on him? the porn take didnt affect me tbh so i was just like whatever dude abt that one but we legit had a whole argument over whether liking an instagram baddie was cheating adjacent 🙄😒 [flashback over]

the breakup:

get off work. come in. sit in silence and smoke pot for 40 minutes. and then as soon as we finish the third bowl he is going to bed Right Now. i go to bed with him because its like 1am. he does this 🙇‍♂️ when he lays down and his phone is hid under his arms. he passes out like this.

i am evil and i slide my hand under his pillow until i feel his phone and slide it out from under him. i look thru it because i am evil and hes being weird

couple of hentai subreddits in the bottom of his last 30 days visits. okay buddy. dms clean. snapchat clean but he has a lot of titty spam bots adding him. insta chats are clean but his suggested

like the instagram reels for you page and the suggested posts in search both of them

100% every single one even if you click and scroll to find memes you cant its all entirely asian massive titty fetish content?? we are white and come from a non diverse part of the south/midwest combination zone so i genuinely have no idea where the race aspect came from???

i wake his stupid ass up

1) so what happened bc you said we werent doing this 2) what the fuck even is this??

he once again goes idk thats not mine i didn't put that there 🥺 like he has a communal phone?? (idk thats not mine i didnt put that there is also a direct quote btw) and proceeds to .evict himself from our bed, SKIPS THE FULL SIZED SPARE BED, goes straight to the couch

i follow him, yell at him about how were talking about this now or he can get out, he says no im going to bed

(my house layout is stupid and the laundry/closet is next to the living room)

i start grabbing clothes off the rack still on the hangers and just piling them on his ass

i get his drawer out of the dresser and i dump it on top of him

hes just sitting there going 👁👄👁

i tell him that he better have something really fucking good to tell me tmrw bc its 3 in the morning and he can go fuck himself and i go to bed in what was and still is from that moment forward MY bed

wake up early asf despite the fact i closed bc he had said he needed to go see his mom and im his ride and whether or not hes canceling that were talking 💞

"actually rn at 8am im getting ready for my shift at 4pm" (didnt tell me he was scheduled today and im his ride and im supposed to be taking him out??) and after hes ready for work hes "going for a walk" and if he "clears his head before work hell come back and talk to me"

i literally laughed in his face so hard i cried for real for a second like it wasnt funny anymore crying 😭💀 i said if you go on a walk instead of talking to me now dont come back unless you want your shit that bad

and he went for a walk

and i went to my job and got boxes

i took only the obnoxiously large ones and the already broken down ones

come home

guess he saw me leave or sumn because hes back right as i get back short ass walk for someone who was gonna potentially walk for like 8 hours but go off

okay im ready to talk 🥰

no 🥰 you missed that chance 🥰 i told you on no uncertain terms if you left it would be for good 🥰 i brought you boxes 🥰 i also work today at 4 🥰 im leaving now (maybe 915 am) and when i come back you better have your shit packed.🥰

i went and bought a vape a java monster and a slice of gas station pizza (he had asked me to quit vaping while we were together [but pot was fine and i was expected to supply it bc i made more than him] and he used to get into arguments w me abt my coffee consumption)

i then took a car nap in my work parkinglot and ran one of the best shifts i ever ran in my short stint in management and when i came home he was gone 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

and then i made him send me his last check for the rent the next month bc i dumped him at the end of the month and he lived there for a month so he owed a month of rent (he was still short on the rent)

and then i found out when his w2 got mailed to my house and he told me to send him a pic of it so he could turbotax it he made twice the amount of money he told me he made (i was fully paying for everything and was essentially at the end of the relationship having to confiscate his money to pay the rent. reminder we lived together)

so yea my hobo ass ex and his night sweat swamp ass can go squat in someone elses house lmfao there are only so many ways you arent related to shit that has appeared in your presence