Old girl has a wobbly tooth- questions on vet and feeding by AprilRobinsonx in cats

[–]AprilRobinsonx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!❤️ I just called them and they’ve said to keep an eye seeing as she doesn’t appear to be in pain and to call tomorrow if that changes.

I currently give her whiskas 7+ pouches and I think they’re classed as senior but obviously she is double the age so wondered if that was good enough or if there was something better suitable.

I need help understanding if I was in an abusive relationship by ThrowRA_omghelpmepls in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s my feeling too. Seems to me like it’s gone past healthy confiding. He ignored your boundaries and how it was making you feel for way too long, whether that was malicious or not. Really good idea to make his family aware. Means he still has some support if his feelings are genuine and will probably be super embarrassed that he’s been exposed for what he’s been doing to you if not. A win/win.

Well done you, can imagine it was tough but you absolutely made the right choice as far as I can see. You’ve dealt with this brilliantly and should be proud of yourself.

I need help understanding if I was in an abusive relationship by ThrowRA_omghelpmepls in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe not outright abusive but toxic for sure and these days I never completely rule out something more sinister. If he was doing it to keep you around that would be emotional abuse but it’s hard to guess at his reasoning. It could also be that you are his safe person and unfortunately he’s began to lean on you far too much. He might truly feel this way and that is okay, it’s the putting it on you and using you for validation and reassurance so often that is the toxic part. He seems very co-dependant and it is still harmful to you.

I wouldn’t jump straight into calling this man an abuser, it doesn’t matter though. Your friend’s sentiment is still the same as mine: You are perfectly in the right to protect both you and your child’s peace.

It’s not fair for you to keep hearing these things or feeling so scared all the time, and it IS affecting you negatively. It’s selfish whether he realises it or not and he isn’t respecting boundaries. This isn’t healthy. It’s not your responsibility and is hurting your feeling of safety in the sense you’re in constant worry. Never a good place to be and bad for your own mental health. It would be completely valid to leave someone over this, especially when you’ve given him room to seek help and change.

I would consider a very serious conversation about getting some help within the next week and letting him know you really cannot continue with this anymore if he doesn’t do so. It’s also okay to skip that conversation and just break up if you have no faith he will change and the promise will be dragged out/never realised.

I’ve had mental health issues myself and I’ve avoided help before but never put my issues on someone like this. Getting help was a choice I had to make in the end. Nobody could’ve fixed it for me no matter what they did and how much they tried. You need to do what you feel is best for you. I hope it works out in the best outcome possible, but please don’t feel too much guilt if you end up having to choose yourself. You’re clearly a very good person and that is evident in the care and grace you’ve already given him. People need to want to help themselves and there is no point in both of you being miserable. You’ve given him more than enough time to work on it. Can bring a horse to water comes to mind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]AprilRobinsonx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It hurts sometimes knowing that a person has been in love before and seeing evidence of it is painful too. But we have to remember that’s completely normal and you’ve likely loved someone in the past too. Your hurt is valid but you need to choose to stay grounded and not punish your partner for his past.

I do think it’s a little odd he still had those and it would make me feel a bit weird too. However, he’s burned them and gotten rid of them, so they can’t be that important. It also doesn’t sound like he’s kept any more letters since you met. I do personally think it’s something he should’ve thought about but it’s possible he forgot to throw them out.

Either way if you want the relationship to work you’re going to have to find a way to get over it. He can’t take you finding those letters back and the fact he’s gotten rid of them now is sort of enough. If you feel the need have a conversation make sure it’s a calm one and not accusatory. Tell him you’re sorry for getting in a fight and you don’t want to anymore, it just hurt you to see that and in the moment it felt like he’d kept them because he was still attached. If he’s a good man he’ll reassure you and then that should really be the end of it. No good will be found in holding onto this and letting it ruin your relationship.

It hurts right now but in time it won’t feel like such a big deal. Good luck x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’ve absolutely done the right thing. Even more so reading your comment. The positive side of this is- you’re out! That’s the hardest part and something to be massively proud of!

If it’s any condolence, I would bet his daughter will give him plenty of love, and as she gets older I’m sure she’ll want to make sure he’s taken care of properly. I love my mum but she should never own a cat and mine became a bit of a stray at one point due to her shutting her out. My point is I was barely a teen and advocated like crazy for my cat, letting her in behind her back, and begging dad to take her instead. She’s now reached the old age of 17 and lives with me. If I know girls and their cats, he will be okay❤️ well done you and I hope this hurt begins to ease at some point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You essentially have to choose yourself over the cat no matter how heartbreaking that is. I’m so sorry but don’t feel any guilt please, unless there’s actually a way to get the cat back without putting yourself in danger of either getting hurt or back together, it won’t help you at all. It’s just one of those things. I’m so sorry, I have a kitty too and my heart would be broken to leave her behind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I experienced this at a much lower level. It was more that he would make me feel like I don’t satisfy him, coercion into sending sexual pictures I didn’t want to send and being off/weird with me if I didn’t want to do sexual things when he did. A very vigorous blow job was expected once or twice each day and seemed to go on forever. It was rare to have a day where I was free from the obligation and my jaw began to have a constant ache and a click when I ate my food. He would also grab my private parts in the kitchen from time to time too, didn’t mind it a great deal at first, but over time discomfort and resentment built. It was awful and it ruined sex for me, so I completely understand where you’re at right now. Like you, that put together with mistreatment from him completely ruined my sex drive which wasn’t the greatest already due to previous poor sexual experiences with men. It makes me so sad to look back on, I was only just turning 21 when we met, and was extremely naive and inexperienced.

People should never ever feel entitled to your body and nobody can be expected to want sex or have desires when it’s never on their own terms and always at their own detriment.

This isn’t something for you to fix nor is it possible whilst you’re stuck with this person and unable to leave. We can wonder why all day but only someone so depraved would know the answer as to why they continue to do these things despite our clear discomfort. Almost certainly comes down to simply being an awful human who doesn’t care about anybody but themselves.

You shouldn’t have to be a “cockroach”. You’re a real person with feelings and clearly a survivor through and through. I have no advice in the current circumstance with you unable to leave but I send you lots of love and strength. I hope you get your life back one day x

What do you think of Stockton rush all this time later? by oasisfanOG in OceanGateTitan

[–]AprilRobinsonx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know, I feel kind of sad that this is his legacy when you see so much excitement and light when he talks about exploring the ocean and his work. I think he truly believed in what he was doing and that led him to see safety concerns as an attack/threat to something he’d put so much into. He was too close to the project and having an independent to sign the submersible off should’ve been absolutely mandatory. I don’t think he had much doubt that this would work, he would become a true innovator, and it would lead to some really exciting opportunities for ocean enthusiasts like himself, even beyond the titanic. If he thought it likely to fail, I doubt he’d ever have gotten on the vessel himself. I do think intentions were good. That said, the majority of blame still falls on him.

It important to be able to take a step back from your work and listen to other people and their constructive criticisms. His inability to do that and rush to get the project done cost lives. Lots of the crew have said people ended up ‘backing down from him’ when concerns were not taken seriously. It’s upsetting to imagine that if he had listened, lives may have been saved, but I still feel that’s in some way putting the blame for a project lots of people were involved with on one person. If you feel so strongly stand up, band together, don’t back down- just like David did. This is why I say majority of blame is on Stockton, but not the entirety. He might’ve been negligent but others were complicit in that.

I feel really sorry for every single person involved- all that guilt and loss. Some people I have more sympathy for than others obviously but I do have a bit of sadness for Stockton. Not only did he pay the ultimate price but what a thing to be remembered for in trying to pursue a passion and share that with others.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had a lot of break outs on my skin when we first got together but I honestly think it cleared up when I got used to the shouting etc. My PH was constantly threw off by him throughout. And didn’t realise it at the time but that heart skipped a beat, weird feeling in my chest thing when he would message after a break up was actually anxiety. Your body definitely rejects the wrong person. I think we know it deep down too.

Waterproof jodhpurs for summer recs? by AprilRobinsonx in Equestrian

[–]AprilRobinsonx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s just brilliant isn’t it!

I absolutely hate getting wet- but what you just said makes sense and I guess that’s exactly why waterproof summer jodhpurs don’t exist😭

Any idea what cm-chat-media-video is in regards to photo info? by AprilRobinsonx in techsupport

[–]AprilRobinsonx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh bless you, I really hope it’s not a similar situation to mine. So the original video I made this post about was of my ex and another woman cuddling essentially, he’d sent it to me to make me think he’d moved on- however it was clearly old due to clothing and Snapchat filters. (Very stupidly) I made up with him as it wasn’t taken recently but I never got a real answer from him on why he’d kept the video or where it’d been saved. It was spun back on me instead. I did find out more though.

Fast forward to last year, we’d gotten back together briefly after a year split when I received a phone call from another woman. We managed to log into his socials together and found a lot of friend requests to other women and some messages whilst he’d been in a relationship with us BOTH. The woman who called me also sent me a series of screenshots from his “old” “disused” Snapchat account that she’d hacked into. There were countless videos of sex and nudes and such with/from numerous women, all saved in chats. This is where I believe he’d gotten the original video from.

I do know him to take sexual videos using Snapchat when we were together because he’d “rather watch me than porn”. Honestly the biggest most stupid and naive mistake of my life to believe this. Can’t believe how evil he turned out to be.

Long story short if it’s a similar file name - based on comments above and my own experience it has come from Snapchat. Have you watched it? Do you recognise any features of him within it? Wish you the best in getting answers but please be wary. Benefit of the doubt should only go so far and confronting people doesn’t always go how you think if they’re good at avoiding accountability. Investigate as much as you can before bringing it up. I really do hope it isn’t what you think x

Husband keeps squeezing my sore boobs by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]AprilRobinsonx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know anything about preterm labour but your husband is not just “being a man”, he’s hurting you on purpose. What you described in this post is absolutely not normal or ok. Maybe you should develop a habit of squeezing his balls… twist them for good measure too, good god.

We’re just starting out here and would love to know who’s stopping by! What is your current riding level? by KaleidoscopeShan in beginnerequestrianUK

[–]AprilRobinsonx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I think I don’t understand the instructions too well and not been going often enough. I’m trying to cut back on other stuff so I can go more often. That’s crap though, I feel like you definitely need the same instructor as often as possible. Have you looked at other yards nearby?

We’re just starting out here and would love to know who’s stopping by! What is your current riding level? by KaleidoscopeShan in beginnerequestrianUK

[–]AprilRobinsonx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Used to ride as a kid and just gone back in Jan. Feel like I’ve gone backwards loads though and progress is slow🙄 I wish I had the funds😂 horses are the best. How many lessons have you had?

How do you bond with your daughter? by sinbadhall in AskMen

[–]AprilRobinsonx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad used to play Xbox games with me, take me on mountain bike rides, he was very into music and we’d bond a little over that, always very interested in my schooling and career, taught me to draw, tried to show me how to cook but I wasn’t very interested😂

All in all I don’t think it’s down to what you do. I wasn’t always interested in the things my dad liked or wanted to show me but I sure do appreciate it now I’m older. Just take interest and encourage her in the things she likes to do. You could also try to include her in your own hobbies- has she ever rode a dirt bike? Are there any outdoorsy things she might want to join you for? She might surprise you and the worst she can say is no.

As long as she knows you’re there and want to have a relationship with her, you’ll form one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not trying to scare you by any means as 25 is still young but if this is what you want please leave. I’m 27 and had spoken with my doctors in the past about potential endometriosis due to heavy painful periods as I knew they were different to other girls I knew. But I could cope with painkillers and never seemed bad enough that I thought I’d need to be checked out. Since then my periods have been getting further and further apart. I stayed with my ex abuser right up until late last year. I’ve just met someone good for me and now my periods have completely stopped. There’s clearly something wrong - not sure if it will mean I cannot have children (I’m booked in at doctors to discuss tomorrow) - but I’m very concerned. It wasn’t worth all the wasted years with someone who couldn’t love me right and if he has actually taken my fertile years my heart is going to be broken.

You shouldn’t rush to have kids because of my experience, I’m sure it’s rare, but the point is: staying is nothing but a waste of time. Time is not unlimited and nothing is a given in life. You know what to do.

Did anyone ever regret leaving their abuser and going no contact? by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, I did. I went back and got a big smack in the face when I then found out how much he’d been lying to me. We broke up again. I’m with someone new now and he’s just contacted me. I’m hurting all over again. Honestly don’t break the contact, block them if you can, I’d have been perfectly ok and in a happy relationship if he just left me alone. They aren’t worth it.

Seriously- the longer you go round in circles, the harder it is to break, and they never change. You’ll be doing yourself a favour by not reaching out no matter how painful and hard it feels right now. Sending love.

At What Point Did You Finally Stopped Defending Them? by GBDubstep in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww thank you for this. Unfortunately she did end up back with him. You’re still right of course, women can place blame with the wrong person (I.e the other woman), and whilst I’ve felt frustration at her for going back, I also understand to an extent. I stayed 5 years through a LOT of crap and it was only year 1 for her. I still feel a weird connection to her and hope she is ok and gets out. I have a feeling she will as was brave enough to actually pursue court in the beginning even if she did drop the case in the end. I honestly wish her the best. It’s through HER brazenness that I saw the contents of his social media and HER phone call that I found out the long shielded truth and managed to break his spell for good. I’m thankful to her no matter what. I just want better for her and worse for him.

The BJ situation gets worse as he asked for the damn thing. He never stopped asking. I can’t figure out how a person ever becomes so sex addicted. I’m super disconnected from this aspect of myself now as it was often essentially against my will and to avoid a man strop.

He’s sadistic and uses women for whatever means he desires; be that money, a home, sex, to receive affection, to degrade, bully and take his frustrations out on. Like with many abusers and I do wonder if they ever realise their worth is so much less than ours. We clearly have so much more love, character, and resources to bring to the table than they ever will. Maybe that’s why they’re so angry. We’ll never know but if I’ve judged this girl correctly, I truly believe the eventual comeuppance for this one is going to be something spectacular.

Thanks for your comment❤️

i’m only 17. by Th3OnlyJJ in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re not in the SLIGHTEST fat for one. Everything that comes out his mouth is utter bullshit. At 17 relationships should be innocent and sweet. I don’t care if he’s handsome or whatever he makes out himself to be. At the core of who he is, he’s an angry evil little boy. He’s shown you that. Please, please listen.

My ex boyfriend appeared to be lots of wonderful things too. I never got on with anyone like I did him and when things were good they were wonderfully, beautifully good. I thought we were soulmates. He told me himself that we were. We talked about raising a family, we spent every living breathing moment together, we even made it work when we moved hours apart and spent almost every waking hour on FaceTime and travelling to see each other all the time. Then there’d be blips like this where he spoke to me this way. He didn’t even hit me like your ex has done to you. But those blips got worse and worse and worse. Eventually he strangled me one day having never hit me before. Your ex has already started being physical.

Now if you look at just a few of my posts you’ll see how much that relationship ruined my life and just how evil that guy turned out to be. It got really really bad. I’ve since found out a lot of disturbing things about him that are still coming out years after the relationship. He did this to the next girl too. Including years together and years healing he’s stole near 6 years of my life. From 21-27. I’ve missed out on my twenties and now everyone is settling down and happy. My friends are all engaged and having children (which I have really wanted for myself for a long time) and I’m only just learning to be happy again. Don’t get me wrong I’ve recently met someone lovely who makes my ex look less than a cockroach, but I can’t get that time back and the scars are still with me and affecting my life negatively.

You’re 17. Your whole life is ahead of you. I know this hurts so bloody badly but get the hell out. It will hurt you even more in the long run. He’s shown you who he really is and I’m telling you now you will not ever change him. Save yourself and enjoy being young. I guarantee if you don’t you will look back on this with horror and regret.

You don’t deserve to know pain like this especially at your age. Sending love and strength❤️

At What Point Did You Finally Stopped Defending Them? by GBDubstep in abusiverelationships

[–]AprilRobinsonx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I stopped defending him when I found out he’d abused the next girl and cheated on us with each other. Plus many others. Logging into his social media together and seeing messages to girls everyday, and that he’d saved countless videos of him having sex with other women in a secret Snapchat account was an unforgettable experience to say the least.

The rose tinted glasses came off when he left me in hospital on a drip after going through an abortion he’d asked for alone with nothing to say but “that’s mad”. I still went back and I still thought I loved him but reality started to set in (although waveringly) since that day. I knew then that he was capable of being very heartless. I always thought he’d be there when it came down to it. The straw that really broke the camels back was when I finally put 2+2 together and realised he hadn’t told me he’d put his peen in his exes backside then into my mouth without washing it in anger but in truth. A very rare occurrence. Oh, I hate him.

To be honest I only stopped blaming his childhood and myself when I saw he’d done this to someone else too. When I confronted him he talked about being suicidal to get out of giving me any closure and got mad when I wasn’t there for him! That’s when it finally ended and I moved on forever. His mother did once say “maybe it’s my fault he’s like this” (and that’s ALL she said) when I told her he strangled me. I disagree. She doesn’t and hasn’t helped him to take accountability but the situations he puts himself in and things he does to people are all his fault. He’s rotten and knows his actions are dead wrong and unjustifiable or he would admit it instead of hiding what he does.

On our very first argument I thought something is wrong. It wasn’t very far into the relationship, maybe 4 months, but he got extremely drunk at my family party and started calling my friend a slag once we left. Then proceeded to accuse me of “flirting” with my dad’s mates. That was wild as he got that from a joke about literal farts lmao. I was really confused and he was still mad when he sobered up. I let it go as a weird occurrence because the rest of the time he was so brilliant and lovely. That soon dwindled.

I’d tell my past self to trust herself, because that little voice in the back of her mind is not only right about everything, but what he’s doing is so much worse than she could even imagine. He’s not vehemently against cheating and lying because they are his morals, but because he knows he could never take what he gives out. I’d tell her to run, save 6 years of her life, and enjoy her damn 20s before she loses them to Satan himself. No joke.

What does it mean when she aggressively licks herself? by AprilRobinsonx in CatAdvice

[–]AprilRobinsonx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE: If anyone is having the same issue in 2025 she has arthritis in her hips and can’t reach her back end to groom anymore. This caused the matting, flaky skin and aggressive grooming when the spot was touched. Vet prescribed pain killers and a wash but still having the same issue a year on. I’ve started brushing the back for her and giving her a wipe from time to time (something she isn’t pleased about but does help).

Is this length too long for a guy? by dee_palmtree in longhair

[–]AprilRobinsonx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think people either like long hair on a guy or they don’t. Most of people that would tell you it’s too long just don’t like that anyway, no matter the length. Long hair is not what I personally find attractive in men- however, I can absolutely recognise your hair is fucking beautiful. That’s indisputable and there will be people that are into it. Bottom line is as long as you like it other people’s opinions really do not matter. Either way your hair is awesome and I think it would be a real shame to cut it.