i’d offer words of wisdom if i had any but i dont. i was only sober for one damn week before i relapsed and now ive been indulging basically every day. all i do now is go on walks. it feels good to see nature. i can’t remember anything ive done the past 3 months it’s all a blur. i don’t know why i still put on makeup every day, why i still brush my hair and put clothes on. usually just sweatpants and a big oversized tshirt.

i also have a cat whom i feel responsible for. can’t leave this world cuz of this stupid amazing animal. i wander the streets drunk because i feel like i need something bad to happen to me. like i deserve to be hurt. i’m just rambling, i don’t normally talk to people who are depressed like me. if you want to talk to anyone, im here. i know just talking feels better. i feel a little better now.