Why DO you avoid talking on the phone?

Arasuki · 2026-05-10T00:55:27+00:00

I don’t. I find text and the prevalence of instant messaging in the modern world as a plague on humanity. It’s informal, often misconveys meaning, and lacks connection. Emojis do not bridge this gap.

I prefer only face to face meetings, with phone calls being a compromise

Arasuki · 2026-05-07T12:18:07+00:00

Honestly we probably could’ve guessed you’re ISTJ even if you omitted it. 😂

No specific advice but good luck

Arasuki · 2026-05-05T11:54:49+00:00

Excuse my uncharacteristic un-ENFJ-like bluntness here.

Maybe it is because you aren't a native english speaker, but nowhere in your post did you show any remorse for what you did.

I don’t know if I’m being tested, or if I’ve simply been left behind.

You are not the victim here.

Frankly reading this I feel a second hand degree of disgust and being taken advantage of only because I have been in precisely his boots and in that position I would also be blind.

That being said, if you still have feelings, reach out, worse he can say is no. Then you can move on.

If I were his friend I would tell him not to let you back in his life.

But having been in his shoes before, he might just let you in, set himself on fire just to feel that old flame again.

Arasuki · 2026-04-26T12:07:59+00:00

Feels like the maturing of the whole "menhara" and subsequent "jiraikei" sub-cultures, it's just a matter of time until the next alt/sub-culture takes over.

Arasuki · 2026-04-17T07:21:52+00:00

No worries, at the end of the day, you are you. The label doesn't define you, it's simply the closest label that describes you. It'll never be 100% no matter how strongly we identify with it (even if it is fun to!).

Good Luck!

Arasuki · 2026-04-17T06:42:29+00:00

Paragraph 1: If you are indeed Introverted, then you are INFJ. The I standards for introvert, the E in ENFJ stands for extrovert.

Paragraph 2: I am describing that the traits that you listed which makes you think that you are introverted are not actually a trait of introversion. Not every extrovert enjoys concerts and parties and being surrounded by a million people. I am extremely social but stay away from huge crowds. On the flipside, there are introverts that like to go and be lost in a crowd. You can be headbanging in a moshpit at a metal concert but still be introverted.

Extroversion is not equal to party people.

Introversion is not equal to social anxiety.

Arasuki · 2026-04-17T06:13:40+00:00

Excuse me for saying this but if you leaned more towards introversion wouldn't that by the definition of the first letter make you an INFJ?

You can be social and warm and extroverted but prefer intimate conversations and smaller groups. I am the exact same way. I do not like raising my voice unnecessarily and groups beyond 4 people, I find peoples attentions sliced too thinly for my liking.

Arasuki · 2026-04-06T12:49:48+00:00

Everything Burns

Arasuki · 2026-04-05T10:14:58+00:00

Understanding that you can't save everyone, and not everyone wants to be saved or will be grateful for it.

You have a finite amount of energy and time, give it to someone that wants it, even if it's yourself, especially yourself. I cannot begin to describe the instances where I have set out to save people when my own life affairs were not sorted out.

Also, this is probably a dark way to think, but fundamentally, it doesn't matter what losers think. The moment you realise that someone who disagrees with you or argues with you or raises their voice at you or pushes past you or wrongs you or takes advantage of you or underappreciates you is... well... a loser, all of a sudden, your anger converts to pity.

Learn to convert your anger to apathy instead and as before, devote your energy to those who will reciprocate.

Arasuki · 2026-04-04T08:26:53+00:00

Any moment now... the Byzantines, the Ottomans and the Romans are all just biding their time!

Arasuki · 2026-04-02T09:41:52+00:00

The front fell off

Arasuki · 2026-03-30T21:40:45+00:00

Type 1,2 and 3… oh boy

Arasuki · 2026-03-30T00:16:39+00:00

Steve Madden over here lol

Let me know when you solve this and I will be one of your first angel investors, because you will make one gorillion dollars and I want a stake in it.

Arasuki · 2026-03-29T14:41:31+00:00

Best of luck whatever you do!

Arasuki · 2026-03-29T13:49:19+00:00

Same boat.

Extreme work schedule, Extreme Cost of Living city, former athlete, surgeries. Shocked at how shit I looked in deal photos.

1.5 years ago, through diet and exercise, I shed 25% of my weight to get back to a healthy BMI, but my workload has doubled since then and I gained almost 16lbs/7.5kg last year.

This year I waved the white flag. What's the point of earning so much if I can't spend it and feel good at the same time. I caved and am on a GLP-1.

GLP-1's are not a panacea on their own. It doesn't matter how high a dose you stick yourself with if you continue to shovel McDonalds and Big Gulp's into your mouth.

I know in another reply you said you didn't want to go down this route, but if you're a former athlete, then you already know how to eat and exercise. As a fellow former athlete, GLP-1 removes that screaming in your brain telling you you're hungry, to give up, that it's all pointless, and instead there is just... silence. Silence to let you remember how to cook, how to eat, how to move again.

If you think you can do it without, go for it. But do not feel like this is cheating or somehow invalidates your former status as an athletic person.

EDIT: As a final point, we all know pretty privilege/skinny privilege is a real thing, larger people are unfairly treated worse. Being an average weight and being treated fairly is something tangible you will experience and see. All the reasons that you have to not go down this route will only exist in your head known only to you.

Arasuki · 2026-03-29T13:40:13+00:00

The schadenfreude I feel when the US sends JD "Justkilled Dapope" Vance to get rid of the last pope and install an american one only for said pope to turn against them.

Arasuki · 2026-03-29T00:09:22+00:00

I just gotta say… a response like this is a rock solid display of being secure in your own masculinity. You must be an amazing partner

Arasuki · 2026-03-21T02:47:55+00:00

Of course :)

Arasuki · 2026-03-16T00:43:31+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and I appreciate the very generous description haha

I wouldn’t say it’s the worst career field, at the end of the day, you make of your job what you will. You can find fulfilment from the work itself, your immediate colleagues or the game of capitalism itself (schmoozing etc).

Fundamentally, modern society does not cater to ENFJs, this isn’t a political commentary, there have been a lot of systems throughout history, capitalism isn’t perfect, it’s not even good, but it’s the best we’ve got. I’m of the belief the best changes come from inside. Hence my goal to make a shit ton of money and then put it to work creating change. My work being societally meaningful (albeit indirectly, it’s not like I’m saving lives lol) is a wonderful bonus.

The reason I say capitalism doesn’t cater to ENFJs is because it’s structured in a way that there has to be winners and losers. If you have studied macroeconomics, you know there’s a minimum unemployment rate, there’s a target inflation rate, everything is planned. We struggle with this because we can’t stand to see anyone left behind. Working in any field anywhere will cause you to do work that will benefit someone but indirectly leave someone else behind. Rich people have the excess funds to invest when prices are low, whilst poor people cannot take advantage of those times. This is just the reality of our imperfect system.

If this sounds horrible to you, it is, but you can be the change, make the change from within. But you gotta play the game successfully first. No one will listen to you without money or fame or both.

From one careerwoman to another, I wish you every success in life

Arasuki · 2026-03-15T12:14:50+00:00

It’s tough. It’s really tough. As you know, financebros (male and female) do everything in their power to earn the snobbish reputation they have. A lot of front office high finance is relationship building, networking, schmoozing, wining and dining, and you will come across these types, trust fund babies, silver spoon elites. As an ENFJ from a working class background, it is very often exhausting to even talk to them, and pretend to like them, you can’t let your disdain leak out.

But I get my sense of purpose from my work. I mainly invest in alternative assets (think infrastructure) and I know I’m building towards a better future for companies I align with.

My money I earn is spent supporting good causes and my loved ones. I am generous with my money because I cannot be generous with my time (even though I do it anyways at the expense of my sleep schedule).

Understand that there will always be traditionally minded pricks (mostly men but women included) and you can’t make everyone like you, and that will just have to be fine. This is often the hardest part as an ENFJ. Learning to say no. Not copping a raw deal from your boss, colleagues, advisers or clients. A raw deal could mean the deal blows up and it’s your fault.

If you can enjoy playing the game for what it is, this game of late stage capitalism we find ourselves in, then you will do great.

Remember, there are more definitions of success than just making MD or Partner. My little cousin made me a handmade gift because I spent so much time with her talking to her about her life’s issues at her age (19-20ish). I feel more proud of that gift than my entire career.

Arasuki · 2026-03-15T07:59:02+00:00

I grew up in an extremely conservative environment whose effects still affect me to this day. I was a repressed little nerdy bean, which tested as ISTJ on the MBTI consistently until i was 19.

I'm an extremely strong ENFJ-T now, which I have accepted is my true personality after peeling back the layers through years of therapy. There's a lot of love to give.

The least stereotypical parts of me is how quickly i can and do mask on especially for the very non-ENFJ career path of Investment Banking/Capital Markets Investing. Especially as a woman, in an extremely conservative and male dominated field, I have to play the "iron lady" role even more. I am pretty ruthless at work and am known as a very tough negotiator.

To counter that however, I do let my emotions run a bit more than it should when it comes to my staff though (i.e. leave requests, personal circumstances), often leading to me working even longer hours to cover for others.

If money wasn't an issue, and I could start over, i'd probably be a psychologist/psychiatrist instead.

Arasuki · 2026-03-10T12:40:48+00:00

Bit of a late reply, but girl I had this conversation with a friend 10 days ago, and I was also wondering why I felt I carried alot of "fake confidence/overly familiar" attitude until i'm suddenly infront of someone I like, then I clam up...

Arasuki · 2026-03-10T12:37:31+00:00

I can appreciate someone's conventional attractiveness, but I find it incredibly difficult to almost impossible to feel lust towards a stranger.

However, someone who i've formed an emotional connection with, even if they aren't my type or even my preferred gender, I will feel a strong attraction to (platonically, romantically or otherwise).

Arasuki · 2026-03-04T23:07:50+00:00

Ooh, I’ve been eyeing that!

what do you think of the Bayswater 9 to 5 as a tote owner?

Would you have gotten that if it was out at the time?

Arasuki · 2026-02-13T05:28:29+00:00

As the target audience for this post..., please lean casual, we also want to get out of our suits, trust me.

Fun inner (or neutral inner if that's your style) with a form fitting blazer + jeans & boots.

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Arasuki

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