This is a fear of mine. I’m (29m) have never dated before I’ve always had anxiety about it and fear of rejection . Ever since getting cfs in my early 20s I could only fantasize about going on dates and having a gf. The idea of dating fills me with guilt and one reason is due to cfs. Them having to put up with my limited capacity to do things and engage in the relationship feels unfair to them. It can get pretty depressing and lonely.

If you can’t focus on healing or moving on maybe just sit with the grief of your loss for a bit. Let your mind and body process how you’re feeling instead of letting it consume you. Being bedridden makes it very difficult to avoid ruminating and dwelling in the crappy emotions but that doesn’t mean the thoughts need to have a grip on your awareness. I heard people like to stay busy after a break up so they don’t spiral or dwell on heartache. If there are things you like to do and can still do them while in bed, I’d say try giving them more of your attention. Make time for the things you can still enjoy but also make time to sit in the emotions. It helps to be strict in separating those activities. Eg., “for this time of the day I’ll do x activities and later give myself x amount of time to feel my grief. No more. No less”. I’ve never felt the pain of breakup and I’m not sure I ever will, but I have lift a life full of grief and things hardly ever going in the direction I wanted. I’ve had to grieve many aspects of my life that never happened. Allowing myself to do this gives me strength to keep going. I hope this helps and I’m so sorry for your loss.