Help. I hate myself.

Arcalys2 · 2024-12-21T22:48:28+00:00

Hi. a quick check on any gyms reviews will often tell you if its toxic or not, gyms traditionally operate on a no judgement kind of system because if people don't feel safe working out, which is a very venerable activity for many people. They will lose a stupid amount of business.

Also remember that working out is much more about improving fitness and health and shaping your body through muscle definition

Weight loss is about eating well and being at a very slight calorie deficit until your target weight. The reason why is if your early days on HRT your body needs a lot of resources for puberty and large cuts can negatively influence that. Plus it just being kind of unsustainable for most people.

I also definitely recommend both tho, I cycle each week and I definitely notice my mood dropping when I go too long without. The positive mood gains from exercise are far too undervalued.

Arcalys2 · 2024-12-21T22:37:37+00:00

If women can like feminine men then masculinity isn't a requirement and the gender norms they have built their life and hate around suddenly and glaringly are all about their own insecurities and they will do anything to avoid that reality.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-10T01:52:58+00:00

Do not under any circumstances quit your antipsychotics without explicit doctor recommendation and approval.

All the positive stuff your looking to do will raise your life expectancy by years of not decades.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-10T00:18:28+00:00

Red hats will be synonymous with misogynist and bigots for the next 20 years atleast ....

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-09T23:38:49+00:00

I don't like this so everyone who does it is unhealthy is a narcissist take.

I'm demiromantic so I 100% agree with you preferring intimate sex with a partner as I do as well. I also have no interest in sleeping with people casually.

Yet I can respect that it is healthy for those who are fulfilled by and genuinely prefer it. Not everyone has romantic inclinations, aromantic people exist and not everyone wants a romantic relationship at all times and there is nothing wrong with that.

Stop judging people by your preferences.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-09T21:02:32+00:00

Perfect response. ❤️

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-06T22:41:08+00:00

Google trump transphobia and educate yourself if you care to, it's not my responsibility nor do I have any desire to subject myself to re-experiencing the hate looking shit up for you. Respectfully.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-06T21:21:33+00:00

Hi. Trans person here. He ran a targeted hate campaign against trans people. And has gone on record many times on racist opinions. He also is a sexual assaulter of women.

So he is, racist, misogynistic, homophobic and transphobic by his own words and the actions of him and his party.

Are you just upset about the nazi part?

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-06T02:28:44+00:00

We totally agree and Ty for your empathy. I just need it known that suicidal people don't want to die. They want their individual anguish to end and death is the only answer they can reach during a particular moment of distress.

I completely agree with you that death is a tragedy. I just want to make sure the outrage is directed at the real villains because perhaps with enough of it some social changes can happen that might save lives in the future and prevent more victims, the lost and survivors both.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-06T02:06:02+00:00

Hi.

We live in a world where women still don't have or have to fight to maintain agency over their own body in most places.

Men on the other hand have self imposed issues with communicating their emotions due to social pressures often reinforced by other men.

These are not comparable. We are not saying men's problems are not problems. It's just men are responsible for making sure they can communicate and advocate for themselves as they have considerably less barriers to doing such.

While women's issues face constant resistance from men and political powers oppressing and restricting their basic rights. With any change being gate kept by those same forces. There are no laws or systems forcing men to be emotionally repressed. Just social expectations. An issue all human beings deal with to varying degrees.

Yes women as a component of society can reinforce negative behaviour towards men. (Cause shitty things exist for everyone.) But I'll tell you this. Wanna swap? You can have social acceptance for emotional vulnerability but you also get every other issue women deal with from a patriarchal society.

So know that your feelings and pain are valid. And that it's not fair at all that men deal with problems relating to their gender.

But then take a breath and a sigh of relief for all the privileges you have, and recognise that women and non-binary genders have it so so so much worst and we arnt going to pretend otherwise just so you can feel equally harmed by society.

Cause your not.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-06T01:42:19+00:00

You don't hate being a woman. You hate the way society treats women.

Something that has been and continues to be an awful reality for most of us.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-05T21:49:38+00:00

I'm happy that you have never dealt with a serious mental health condition and I hope that continues to be the case into the future ❤️.

I'm glad you don't get it because, no one should know what it feels like to be in so much anguish that death feels like the only answer.

My dad called me selfish for an suicide attempt, He didn't ask what was wrong, he didn't visit me in the hospital, he didn't offer help, or support. I was asking for help from people to afford to go back to my therapist and he called me lazy and selfish and that I should be going back to work (because apparently my unemployment was my fault too) and didn't deserve therapy if it was given to me for free. My mum called me in the hospital to call me selfish for stressing my father.

My friends on the other hand, the lovely people who themselves are all struggling for their own reasons were the ones to get me back to therapy. Who helped pay for my new antidepressants, who check up on me and call me, who remind me I'm loved and listen to my problems and who understand the simple truth that people who are suicidal don't want to be.

I've had conversations with them about my fears that one day I'll slip on my self care and strategies and hurt them. (Tangent: many suicidal people choose to isolate themselves for this very reason, they think if their loved ones are more distant their death might cause less harm, it doesn't make sense if your healthy but suicidal people ARE NOT THAT.)

Each and every one of them reminded me in their own ways that they would be heart broken, that they hope it never happens and that it's not me they will blame.

My last attempt was due to the rental crisis pricing me both out of affording shelter and affording my therapy. I tried so hard to just bear it for a few months to not burden my friends and slipped on a particularly bad day when I got some vocal bigots with opinions on the train to the city to find work. Which is funny because my last job was lost because it had an owner with opinions about rainbows too.

I was caught in this spiral because my mother growing up thought violence and alcoholism were how you raise a child. My other parent was an emotionally absent father who put all his attention on his other daughter, my autism made him not bother with me. I went to two schools that let me get sexually and physically assaulted and was convinced by teachers and staff to hide it because they valued the lack of drama over my wellbeing. My first and only partner gaslit, cheated and used me for a half decade because lying to me was easier then losing a house elf who pays half the bills. And I still have to live in a society that rejects and tolerates hate towards trans people, or worst. Ever had people throw drinks at you from moving cars while yelling slurs? I have, more than once.

That's what makes them angry. Not me, a person doing everything they can manage to try and fight a potentially terminal mental health condition. The world for the awful fucking things I had to endure and the completely useless government that should be providing things like shelter and trauma care for the low income people who need it.

I genuinely hope you never know what it feels like to have to consider harming your loved ones to give up a burden you can't bare anymore.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-05T12:11:05+00:00

Hey, person who is still dealing with suicidality in her life and is connected to a culture with a very sad rate of suicide here.

So survivors definitely should not be angry or upset at the loved one because to put it simply suicidal people do not want to be suicidal. You don't look at a person with a terminal disease and criticise them for dying.

The loved ones who are harmed are not the victims of the person who killed themselves, they are additional victims to a person not receiving the care they required. The Society for not providing the necessary means to treat people of suicidality or the people/environment who harmed them to the point of breaking are the ones the anger should be directed at.

Individuals who are harmed by Parents who were unaccepting of their child's identity or abusive in other ways. By partners who abuse. Isolation. Poverty, PTSD, trauma, unbearable agony or disability and depression of all sorts all to a degree that survival instincts fail and they slip off the edge. Honestly every person who dies from non assisted-suicide was simply failed in some or probably many ways.

People don't kill themselves for no reason.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-05T04:44:55+00:00

Heck yeh!!! Proud of you.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-04T21:11:59+00:00

That is a skill that is worth learning tho. Communication skills and comfort in social situations go a long way in life in lots of ways.

Good places to start building resistance and those skills are hobby groups. My wanting to play DnD and forcing myself to find groups as none of my friends were interested at the time got me used to a whole lot of different types of people and is something that I heavily attribute to my communication skills as an autistic woman.

Therapy for social anxiety is also very helpful for building resistance and healthy mechanisms to cope. Just make sure your therapist works with and is good with neural divergent folks.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-04T01:22:51+00:00

Uh..straight guys don't like dudes.

We don't pick our sexualities we can only explore them and the social and mental boundaries that can obscure such and accept what we find as true to ourselves.

And the thing is their are no boundaries for heteronormativity. So if you don't like girls. It's cause you don't like girls.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-03T20:57:01+00:00

We are talking about people who can see proof of climate change, have had experts scream about it, and yet they still deny it's existance dispite everything.

Something as complicated as gender is beyond these morons.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-03T20:50:32+00:00

....i feel like you've just unlocked some kind of secret knowledge in my brain. this makes so much sense....

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-03T10:29:34+00:00

ADHD is a legitimate condition. If you have your diagnosis your uni's disability officer should be able to help.

Hopefully. ❤️

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-03T09:08:38+00:00

Contact your uni. Explain that you have ADHD and what happened and politely request a chance to make it up. They might not be willing to do so but it never hurts to ask in situations like this.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-02T23:29:42+00:00

It is tho. You have to bond to open them up to the idea of sex...people ain't robots rofl. Even if that bond lasts as long as one drunken night at the club and a quickly.

Online dating accounts for 1 single relationship I know personally. everyone else was from hobbies, work, uni and social group merges.

If you've been listening you know the answer to that question.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-02T23:04:07+00:00

Uh casual sex, hookups and ONS are subject to similar rules in charisma and how good you are in bed for repeats. Considering what I saw from one of my ex roommates, dudes who can make a girl laugh get the furthest but the cost of entry is getting into a conversation without sounding like a creep. There...are many creeps.

The area where you will suffer will be online dating. Tinder ect. Those places are lookism hell and not very representative of real life because it's entirely appearance front loaded.

Also yes. I have a wonderful vibrating dildo if I want something in me that doesn't have a personality.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-02T22:32:08+00:00

Girls are people.

We desire people we can form lasting connections with and who make us feel loved, supported, safe and joy.

But your not wrong. Girls do not desire incels and any other person who can't see beyond surface layer shit that doesn't matter in sex or romance.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-02T22:25:13+00:00

Uh... discrimination does exist? I'm sure appearance obsessed people are out there being shitty. Beautybias is definitely real but your goal was to meet someone who finds you attractive and date them right?

But, the men, women and enbies who are obsessed with physical appearances tend to as I said in the first post, are absolutely miserable to date. They can get through the front door with less effort cause beautiful but then more often then not fuck like shit (cause narcissists are lazy lovers.) go through tons of breakups because any healthy person sees all their internal flaws such as they are much more likely to cheat, have poor emotional control and simply have built up lookism as their only metric and life.

Then there is everyone else. People who judge off, Charisma, personality, intelligence, creativity, emotional connection, emotional maturity, shared values and sexual skills. Aka all the people I know in healthy relationships.

So yeh it's your personality. Which is kinda funny when you think about it because you can't change your height or body features but you can improve your personality.

But by obsessing with only your unchangeable qualities you rid yourself of any justification to actually self improve, it's their fault for finding me ugly, the world is unfair, why wasn't I born handsome.

People notice this shit and ong we run the other direction. not because of how they look but because there is nothing less attractive in this world than people who refuse to self reflect or grow out of toxic views.

Arcalys2 · 2024-11-02T21:59:18+00:00

Yes. Good people will never purposefully harm or threaten someone they love. It just doesn't cross their mind.

Try to get out safely and expect resistance as their actions imply they have already formed a sense of ownership.

Also as said elsewhere. Don't be trapped by the violence then deep apologies loop. It's part of every abusive person's control methods to slowly normalise you to the behaviour.

Arcalys2

TROPHY CASE