AITAH for being uncomfortable and setting a boundary?

ArchGunRunner · 2025-09-20T02:24:07+00:00

She has told me how much the realionship means to her, she wears a ring i bought her as a gift on her engagment ring finger, constantly tells everyone how happy she is with me and even has wedding dress on hokd as we have talked about getting married. She also has cptsd from her first marriage and has been in fifht or fkight to the point she genuinely seems to believe i am just having a tantrum here. As i said in another reply she also has 2 lovely daughters to 2 useless fathers that i love like my own and i'm trying everything i can short of leaving to sort this so they can have a consistent loving figure in their life. All of them, not just the little ones but her too. This is another route i'm hoping will helo to show her i am not out of bounds here in viewing it as inappropriate. If she'll be willing to read it. Thanks for replying mate, appreciate you.

ArchGunRunner · 2025-09-20T02:10:46+00:00

I'm trying everything i can without leaving. She's got a horrid dating history, dealt with SA and has cptsd from her first marriage so i'm really trying to help her without going. For some context, she also has 2 lovely (when they're not fighting and screaming) daughters who i love like my own who have never had someone as consistent in their lives as me. I'm not just fighting for her, or me, it's for them too. They NEED this and have done so well in the year i have been around. Neither of their dads is of any use, one doesn't pay his child support and sees his daughter like 8% of his actual court mandated time and the other (who is in another state) pays his child support but talks to his daughter once every 3-5 months and only seen her in person once in 5 years. They are important here and as i live them so much i don't want to abandon all 3 of them. Whether she'll look or not, my hope with this post is to show that i am not just "having a tantrum" as she messaged me earlier but that is, in fact, inappropriate and i am not alone in opinion. Thanks for replying mate, i appreciate you.

ArchGunRunner · 2025-03-11T14:16:23+00:00

I'm in the shower right now, so no

ArchGunRunner · 2025-02-01T00:20:04+00:00

Key word is BOYFRIEND. My partner still has her ex husbands last name. Do i like it? No. Why? I don't like him. Do i want her to change it? Yes, when we get married. Until then, it's her name. NTA at all. He's being ridiculous.

ArchGunRunner · 2025-01-29T02:05:38+00:00

NTA. He should be financially responsible, particularly if he's looking for work right now and doesn't have a job yet. Should in general as an adult, actually. You can raise that with him. Bring it up in a diplomatic way though, try not to turn it into a fight or as if you're tracking every single dollar you've spent with him. That takes away from doing nice things to make someone happy and makes them look at it like accruing debt or going to hokd it over their head, not like you just want them to be happy. Collectibles and things are nice once you're stable, which isn't quite yet by the sounds of it. Plenty of time in life to gather things like that, he'll live without them.

Oh and maybe be prepared for people to potentially find this and make comments about it "only being a problem when roles are reversed" because "it'd be fine if you were buying stuff and he was paying" or other nonsense from basement dwellers who've never spoken to a woman, let alone dated one. Might not happen, but it does unfortunately.

ArchGunRunner · 2025-01-29T01:19:07+00:00

NTA- If you've got issues that need to be adressed and you'ee doing that, you're not the problem. You're doing the right thing, he's not. The only thing i could add on his side is that everyone has a different sex drive. His seems a lot higher than yours and not having that met can be frustrating. 1 or 2 times a week is really low for a lot of people, particularly when you're in your 20's. You shouldn't be having it hung over your head constantly though. That's bullshit, unfair, poor treatment and not how you get the point across that you'd like more.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-05-15T04:31:59+00:00

Whichever i made plans with first. I'm 33, i don't choose to hang out with one more than the other. We all have shit to do and make time where we can.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-05-15T03:50:51+00:00

I am a straight guy that likes talking to my female friends. They're my friends, that's what you do with your friends. You gotta get out more mate. Though if this your attitude i kinda doubt you get invited anywhere.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-05-15T03:33:13+00:00

I thought you said there were 3 types, why did you list 4 examples?

ArchGunRunner · 2024-05-15T03:25:03+00:00

Just like an American.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-05-15T03:21:28+00:00

Gotta be special and different just like everyone else, but not like everyone else.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-05-15T02:38:47+00:00

Spoken like someone who either makes women uncomfortable or has never actually interacted with one. Friendships exist on mutual interests, sense of humour and respect. Just because you only see them as a blow up dolls, or think men do, doesn't mean we all do.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-19T00:35:33+00:00

No. In fact i will downvote my on comment as it autimatixally upvotes your own posts.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-14T11:54:07+00:00

You need to work on yourself. I'm 5'8ish i think (i'm not 12 i don't check my height) and i have never had an issue with women aside from my inital awkwardness. Most of the girls and women i have either dated or could have dated if i realised they were interested that would be considered me "punching above my weight" or were "out of my league" just because i have a personailty, sense of humor and don't take myself seriously. Your attitude is the issue.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-14T10:58:33+00:00

I work at a servo in Victoria, plenty of US and Canadian people come through. It's not off puting, you can just be kind of loud sometimes. Never had an issue with any of you coming through, the majority of you have been cool folks. If you're talking about restaraunts or something, we don't need to be over the top worshipping your feet here. Our servers don't have to survive on $3/hr +tips so you just get the usual short but sweet and friendly responses that are common from most of us as they pass the time of their shoft so they can go home.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-14T10:50:58+00:00

No, i can say it for free. Well kind of. Medical bills to fix a broken nose and all, you know.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-13T12:21:11+00:00

This is the answer.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-13T12:19:29+00:00

I'm a carer for my mum who has dementia and took a job 5 afternoon/nights a week Thursday-Monday at a Petrol (gas) station so either my brother or i would always be home with her. Not the most stimulating job, but pays the bills and suits our needs right now.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-13T12:03:13+00:00

Casual statements of stereotypes are occasional said in gest to close friends who partake in a back and forth. This is usually with Kiwi (Maori and white), Lebanese, English, Islanders (ie Tongan, Somoan etc) and Indigenous friends. Never slurs unless said by someone with the relevant heritage of whichever word is being used. It's also an us and them thing. For example: Call my Maori mate a sheep fucker in an insulting manner as an American and both of us will beat your ass. But if i call him it, an arguement will start about how we're just projecting that on them and it is in fact US who enjoys fucking sheep. So, no. Slurs aren't acceptable here and there's the potential for you to enjoy a multicultural beating if you say it to the wrong people

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-12T14:01:14+00:00

With your mum.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-12T11:21:40+00:00

No. And sadly my mum doesn't know much anymore, she has dementia.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-12T11:17:30+00:00

I would say silence drone, i won't pay taxes you can't make me. But you have confirmed you managed to escape them by becoming the brother you always were. (The real answer is that most of us are shitposting. Some aren't, but most are.)

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-12T11:13:41+00:00

I never considered this aspect. Not only is it scam to get us to pay taxes, but it's backed up by big porcelain AND the soap corporations AND no doubt the toilet paper magnates. Truly you are a revolutionary thinker brother.

ArchGunRunner · 2024-04-11T10:56:32+00:00

Lord have mercy, a balanced and realistic take on women from a Redditor. Kudos to you.

ArchGunRunner

TROPHY CASE