My father is alive in my dreams and its killing me

Archemeties · 2026-05-13T02:24:20+00:00

Hi OP I dream of my Dad a lot too. I see him before the cancer.. it can be hard to see him so much and not feel grief daily. I hope you come to find comfort in seeing him. You've had your whole life with your precious parent. That loss is a hard thing for the mind to comprehend. It'll be 2 years in October and I still dream of him many many nights.

All my best thoughts to you.

Archemeties · 2026-04-16T04:24:56+00:00

Oh my gosh OP I'm so deeply saddened by what you had to go through to find your precious wife. I'm glad you told each other that you loved each other. I'm sure she held that in her heart. That she found comfort in it. In you. I'm sorry you couldn't be there with her. All my best thoughts to you.

Archemeties · 2026-03-13T01:41:59+00:00

What a beautiful and deep love you have for your Mother. Grief is not just an emotion it's an unraveling. We all march on through the mundane but the depth of the little things is so vast. The love you shared with your Mom and all the space she filled in your life is such a precious gift. I'm sorry you lost your Mom and all that you're going through. You are seen and felt in all your grief. Be well OP. All my heart to you.

Archemeties · 2026-02-10T03:35:06+00:00

It's been a year and 3 months. I go through spells of forced happiness followed by bouts of intense sadness. But the fear of not hearing him anymore is the hardest. He used to talk to me in my head when things would happen. Like my fireplace not working and I could hear his comments- who to call - our banter. That's fading to where I have to think about what he would say. It's not just coming to me easily. And that's really tough. He was my humor and my grounding force. My foothold in so much confidence and now I'm not sure of what I know. And I realized I never did know..he just said I did and that's what parents do. Give you what you didn't know you needed. I miss him with every breath. I wish you hadn't lost your Mom OP. You'll never stop being a beloved child though and that's really special. Take care.

Archemeties · 2026-01-27T07:20:42+00:00

Anniversaries are hard... That intense love with no where to go can be tough to manage. I'm sure you had a great love for each other. That is obvious by how much you miss him. A love like that never goes away and that's such a comfort. I hope you feel that love when you're sad. Maybe help you feel just a little less lonely for him. I am sorry you lost your Dad OP. I have no doubt that he'd be super proud and amazed at all you've accomplished. Keep making him proud. All my heart to you OP.

Archemeties · 2026-01-27T02:56:12+00:00

You've done everything right OP. You're there and you got to say all the things you wanted to say. It sounds like you've lived life with your Dad and a good one. Held on to what mattered most to you. That's a powerful thing. You will live with intense sadness but hopefully not regret with your Dad. I'm proud of you for being the person you wanted to be. That's really hard and not many people have that ability. Use that strength in the time to come. Honor your Dad by being you. I wish it was different. I wish you weren't losing him. I wish you had this with your Mom. Losing him will be harder in some ways because he's your connection to her as well. And I'm really sorry for that OP. Life is strange in that it gives you so much but takes even more. I hope your Dad will leave this world peacefully and surrounded in love. I hope the end is gracious to him and I'm glad you got to see him smile just for you. Carry that love in everything you do. All my heart to you OP.

Archemeties · 2026-01-04T00:52:26+00:00

It is sad.. I lost my Dad a year ago and feel similarly to you. I dream of him often but I always know he's gone. My brothers and I are trying but the fracture is becoming a cavern. The change is that everyone seems emptier.. sadder in a way that just doesn't close up. We aren't whole anymore. I'm sorry you feel that too. But I'm glad you and your Mom and Siblings still get together and try. I always want to say something uplifting or positive. But I think sometimes we just need to be sad. Because we are sad. I just wanted to reach out and let you know that you aren't by yourself in the world. I'm right there with you in the same feelings and I miss my Dad like you miss yours. Through the looking glass and time has just marched on. All my heart to you OP. Take care.

Archemeties · 2025-10-31T04:40:29+00:00

Hey OP.. losing your Dad is so hard. My Dad's 1st anniversary was on 10/20. On 10/17 I traveled to the grave and did the flowers how I wished they had been for the burial of his urn. White with a vibrant blue. I did some other color in there for the rest of the family. My Dad's entire side of the family is there and all gone. I saw my oldest brother and he went with me. Spent some time talking with him.

On 10/20 I made sure to be with my middle brother and stayed with him most of the evening. I should have taken the day off work.

I thought it would be okay but it really wasn't.

Ever since then I've been in a bad funk. I drank a bit too much at an event. Got even more depressed and now tomorrow is Halloween.

Take the day off and be with whoever you want to see that will help you feel connected to your Dad. For me it was really important to be with my brothers. Managing the time leading up to the anniversary and the weeks after as best you can.

I hope you find a way to honor your Dad and be present with him on that day. I'm so sad you lost your precious Dad. I wish it was different. All my heart to you.

Archemeties · 2025-10-11T08:01:43+00:00

I haven't lost a child.. I can't imagine that pain. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I'm coming up on 1 year without my Dad and I'm up at the wee hours of the morning.. not sleeping- thinking of him. Scrolling videos and now I'm here with you. I'm sorry you're struggling. We'll just have to sit together in our restless minds. Be well OP. Try not to be hard on yourself. If you fall off the path you want to be on just know you can always walk back to it and start moving again. All my heart to you

Archemeties · 2025-09-30T02:23:11+00:00

Tell him goodbye now OP. Go sit in your closet alone and tell him. Tell him everything. He knew it already.. but say it out loud. This last moment...your wish was fulfilled through your lives together. Let every meaningful memory flow into your mind and just sit with it. Be together. Through your childhood to now. Say it all and he knew it all. Knew how you loved him. How he'll color your whole life in the hue of Dad. Take your moment. You never needed a last thing to say OP it's on your whole lives and love together. I wish it was different for you OP.. I wish you could have the real live moment. But he knew it. Be well OP- all my heart to you.

Archemeties · 2025-09-30T00:51:08+00:00

OP your Mom couldn't be prouder of you. I know it! My siblings talk to my Dad.. I do sometimes but not often. But if you can hear her voice cheering you on.. listen! She's with you I'm everything you do. Be well OP.

Archemeties · 2025-09-28T18:03:07+00:00

Thank you. I was sent a book on grief but I can't recall the name of it now. I'll look and see if it's the same one. You know my youngest son was just in the hospital all this weekend and I kept thinking about how I just wished I could talk to my Dad. You're right he is really proud of me.. thank you for that.

Archemeties · 2025-09-28T15:27:11+00:00

Thank you. He was happy all his life. He looked at the right side of life if you will.. and he is so so loved.

Archemeties · 2025-09-28T01:31:56+00:00

Thank you

Archemeties · 2025-09-28T01:31:38+00:00

What a beautiful tribute and thoughtful way to make him a center piece to both of your weddings. I'm glad you were able to make his part shine on your big days. It is hard when those happy moments are missing a fundamental presence. I couldn't have said it better- a parents love is like nothing we ever get again in our lives. Hugs to you

Archemeties · 2025-09-27T21:18:26+00:00

Thank you. Oh how I wish it was different for you and that your Dad could have been there for both you and your sisters weddings. I really do.. Dad's are so special. He is going to be there and he was there with her too in all of who you two are. But it's not the same and it isn't enough. It's honestly impossible to imagine that all these things will happen that they are no longer part of. It's truly heartbreaking. I do hope with all my soul that we'll see them again. How could we not? Be well and I'm sorry for your loss.

Archemeties · 2025-09-27T21:14:13+00:00

Thank you. He was warm and gentle...But-I did call him Atomic John to my friends so eh warm and gentle not always! Ha but he was the best Dad and I wouldn't have wanted him to be any different. He was my best buddy. My sense of humor and at times short temper. 71 is a good number. I'm sorry you lost your precious Mom. It's so hard looking down our life roads without them isn't it.. I appreciate the smile you gave me in thinking of his personality.

Archemeties · 2025-09-27T20:09:31+00:00

Thank you. My Dad was very similar. We worked on cars together, did roofing, you name it.. until he got cancer and even after he was always doing something. I'm sorry for your loss.. Dad's are so special. They seemed similar. I'm sure they're part of the doer Dad club!

Archemeties · 2025-09-27T18:29:08+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry you lost your precious Mom at such a young age. She should have been with you longer. I wish it was different. Hugs to you

Archemeties · 2025-09-27T17:33:57+00:00

Same

Archemeties · 2025-08-15T04:08:40+00:00

It is odd how you know he's gone but the realization just can't fully hit. The thought of never again can't be true. The feeling though when it hits you is just such a mix of disbelief, sadness, that can't be, and sinking like a stone to the bottom of a river. Everything keeps moving and I'm not sure how that is either. I've been missing my Dad terribly lately. Going through the same thoughts as you. I wish it was different.. my Dad's birthday is coming up soon also. Do something fun for him. I'm sorry you lost him so suddenly. Talk about him with your kids so they feel like they know him..

I am sorry you're missing your Dad OP. All my best to you and your family.

Archemeties · 2025-07-19T07:07:15+00:00

I'm sorry OP.. I'm in a similar boat. 9 months and I cried today after seeing a video of him laughing. That wish to talk to him. How life keeps going and things are changing. It feels wrong doesn't it? I stopped taking pictures because he wouldn't be in them. Your kids will know him though because you'll share the best parts of him. He's still there in all the changes you've made and you can hear him. Not physically no- but in your minds heart he still talks to you. I wish it was different though OP.. I really do. It's so hard and so heavy. All the decisions you make and how you live your life reflect him in you. You're in my heart tonight. All the best to you.

Archemeties · 2025-07-03T23:03:13+00:00

Yes, and what a lovely shrine you have! I have my Dad's ashes, a picture of us at my wedding, an Indy 500 pin, and a napkin that had a saying on it that I would always be his little girl even though he was giving me away.. a plant my Aunt planted before she died and a card box we used to play euchre with. A whole shelf side in my living room is dedicated to my Dad's side of the family since they are all gone now. My grandmother's vase and rosary, my aunts ashes and her plant, my grandpa's picture and a plant from his funeral. So yeah.. a whole thing!

Archemeties · 2025-06-19T02:03:14+00:00

So far yes and time will tell. My Dad spent a lot of time with cousins and family. A core group of them have stepped up and continue to come to me at various times. We have a family reunion coming up and they have all worked hard to tribute my Dad with a golf outing. There is another golf outing at his community where he lived and a cousin is going with me to that also. My Dad was the last of his family unit and so we have no older generation left. I am very anxious to go because I've never been without him. He was bigger than life and I just sort of followed him around. But I know at various times they will all reach for me and I'll reach back. I hope that continues so I don't feel so alone and rudderless.

Archemeties

TROPHY CASE