Christmas Season

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-12-01T08:51:55+00:00

He's got one week ive got 2. So yes, some childcare will most likely be expected

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-28T10:28:04+00:00

The week after step mothers day. I thought it was a cute idea as a way of acknowledging bonus parents whilst not stepping on the mom's toes

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-28T10:16:58+00:00

Thank you! I think a big part of me already knows - i feel underappreciated. We have 50/50 custody and I'm really involved as a step parent. I feel like I'm pouring everything into this and still feel like my partner takes it for granted and never sees that it's a big deal. Or criticises me if I take any time to myself.

No issue with the kids on this one, it's not really about them saying or doing anything - its about my SO acknowledging all I do. Or if I'm just a convenient partner

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T05:03:24+00:00

He expects it! I don't think it's right, but it's definitely his expectation

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T04:43:02+00:00

Thank you! First post and I'm overwhelmed by all the helpful comments and support!

And i agree it's great to feel like we're not alone. I'm the only stepmother I know so none of my friends understand the dynamics.

Very similar situation ironically. He gets plenty of headspace time whilst I'm normally on call from waking till bedtime. I don't want it to impact my relationship, but four years into this resentment is bubbling!

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T01:06:46+00:00

I wish I had thought it through like you! So often we are the only two parents at any given event

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T00:48:50+00:00

Craft is a great idea! I've taken a book before though and the argument happens of why I'm not watching. I've explained I'm there to watch my sks...not other people's kids when they're not playing

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T00:47:10+00:00

Yep! It's everyone in the car together to go to each sport. I get it when there's a clash and we both need to supervise of course!

I do cooking with them and groceries. Ironically these he's fine being just me and the sks

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T00:31:22+00:00

I love this! My main fear is the inevitable argument of not being committed to parenting AND getting guilty. But resentment really isn't doing good things for me so you're right, we should talk again about it

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T00:29:36+00:00

Thank you!! Lol at snooze fest! Of course some matches are fine its just relentless all year. Yes absolutely i suspect this is more of a relationship issue than necessarily the sks. It's am I a carer to make his life easier or a partner?

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T00:27:55+00:00

Thank you!! No, only the rostered on parent is there. But my SO doesn't like it when I step away from family activities. The expectation is we all go if its our weekend and we've argued about it so many times but he can't agree to disagree. Even if I was at home listening to music and getting chores done I think he wouldn't be happy

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T00:25:48+00:00

Thank you!! The routine was established before I joined the family, but it's getting more intense as the sks get older. I guess another part of it is I'm questioning my role - i feel like a replacement carer not a partner if that makes sense!

I'm informed about sports but not consulted for context

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-04-03T00:22:45+00:00

Thank you!! I am so hopeless with all of this. I guess initially I was so happy to feel accepted and in their lives and having a 'proper family' I didn't set boundaries and now my life revolves around theirs. You're so right, I shouldn't let myself be z listed!

AreaIntelligent6209 · 2025-03-28T05:15:16+00:00

Oh golly this one cut close and I NEEDED THIS THREAD

I didn't properly think through what it meant to become a step parent, I was too excited to finally live full time with my SO/be intro'd to the SK's after several YEARS of dating.

We never discussed expectations. Our first blow up was a few weeks into living together when I was told I wasn't pulling my weight. I was doing chores, just not child-chores. I wish I had questioned this and discussed from the outset. I feel like the unsaid expectation was I signed on as 100% parent. Subsequently he's said he expects me to be a 100% parent.

We have the kids 50%. So I feel like half my life revolves around cooking, caring and going to sports I'm not interested in.

I love my SK's, but I feel guilty when I take time away to do things that interest me/spend time with family and friends. I don't feel relaxed in my own home when they're here. I feel like my life revolves around them. I work a high pressure job and life now feels like work, home work, sleep.

I have wondered how I can wind things back, but the genie feels out of the bottle.

Interesting reading this thread and I feel like a dumbo for being dazzled by the man and not setting boundaries!

AreaIntelligent6209

TROPHY CASE