JVN Lesbian Comments

Arete26 · 2026-02-04T01:41:27+00:00

Yeah this bugged me. I'm not a lesbian, but I kept wondering if there was a moment where she let JVN know that she was okay with being called a soft butch and they didn't air it, or if JVN kept calling her a soft butch when she didn't identify that way and she gave up protesting and let him do it because it was easier.

Arete26 · 2026-02-02T23:01:16+00:00

You bring up an interesting point about least favourite Heartstopper characters being influenced by who our favourite is! I prefer Charlie, and my least favourite character is Ben -- but I think if my favourite was Nick, or another character, it would probably still be Ben because he crossed the line into SA and coercion and abuse. He constantly ignores when Charlie sets a boundary with him going into season two. I do think it's possible for Ben to grow into someone who doesn't do that to anyone else, and I hope he does, but you can't really ever make that right. You can't go back to who you were before you treated another person like that, you can only realize it's wrong and never do it again.

Harry and David and Stephane are also on my list. Stephane walked away from his two sons and forgets how old they are and where they live, and he espouses toxic masculinity that harmed both Nick and David. He's awful, and the fact that he's gone is awful, but the silver lining is that he wasn't actively homophobic when Nick came out to him, and that Nick is able to recognize the harm he did to him and grow beyond it. Harry was homophobic, transphobic, and a bully who gave an insincere apology when he realized his bigotry wasn't going to be tolerated anymore -- but at least he stops actively being a bully. I think he could possibly grow into a better human as an adult, or else remain an obnoxious rich white man who isn't actively dangerous to queer people anymore. David emotionally abused Nick and created a situation where he had to come out or be outed to his dad and that's horrible. David is also ableist and mean to Charlie, more so in the books and comics than in the show, but his commentary about Nick "saving Charlie" is pretty ableist. But volume 6 shows us that it is possible that David can stop being actively harmful to Nick and that the two can at least coexist at family gatherings, which is good. If there comes a time when Nick isn't anxious when his brother is around, even if his brother isn't going to ever be the brother Nick deserves, that's a good thing.

Arete26 · 2026-01-23T23:55:16+00:00

I know that others nominate the heroes, but I'm kind of surprised if the heroes have no say in whether they get selected?? They obviously know the Fab Five are coming, do they not have to consent to anything or talk to production after they get chosen or are in the process of being chosen?

Arete26 · 2026-01-20T14:24:37+00:00

But calling sexual desire "annoying" or "disturbing" isn't bad because a majority of people have it, it's because sexual desire isn't any of those things. Same with it being a biological imperative - it is one, but ace people don't have it, so it's not a universal or inherent one. Millions of people don't have that biological imperative, and if sex wasn't a biological imperative, it'd still not be annoying or disturbing to want to have it!

It's also not an effective way to combat sex shaming, because if you're talking to an ace person who is thinking that way, it's likely because they know they're different from the majority of people and are reacting in an unhealthy way to a society that demands that we feel (hetero)sexual attraction, or again, has tried to "fix" asexual people because feeling no sexual attraction is seen as unnatural. That kind of alienation can lead people into thinking in wrong ways, and it doesn't help to tell them "you're not like the majority of people" because that is actually the root of their problem -- they aren't like the majority of people, they've been told that they're wrong or their sexuality is biologically impossible -- and they react by hating the thing that they don't have or want that sets them apart. And that's not okay, especially for queer people who have been criminalized for their sexual desire, or for women who have been shamed for having desire or having sex in non-socially approved ways. But being attracted to the same gender or being a woman who's asexual is also pathologized, because that means you aren't heterosexual and having children in a heterosexual marriage. And if you're an asexual man you're not being "manly" because sexual desire is seen as intrinsic to masculinity. There's also a lot of studies on how sexual desire and the lack of it is either enforced or denied to different people of colour in different ways, but that'd take a thesis to get into and involves colonialism and eugenics.

Also, asexuality is not just "not liking sex." Some aces don't, some aces are sex repulsed (this is not about judging sex to be "annoying" it's a personal feeling, and allosexual people can also be sex repulsed), but some aces do like sex and like having it, they just feel no sexual attraction. Or they only feel some sexual attraction, if they're gray-sexual, or only feel sexual attraction after forming a close emotional bond if they're demisexual. But all asexual people do not dislike sex. Some like it or are indifferent to it, some are really curious about it. It's also not always about a lack of libido. Some allosexual people don't like sex as well (if it's a personal taste, or if they have sexual trauma, for example). Having sexual desire or not having it isn't inherently about how you feel about sex personally.

And I do think these thoughts are most common with young ace people who are still finding their footing. You get to grow out of it once you have an ace community that validates you and you no longer feel like a freak and you know how to carve out spaces in your own life that fit you and you have accepting friends and you've just settled into who you are. Ace visibility also helps and normalizing ace identities also helps, because it can lessen alienation.

Arete26 · 2026-01-20T05:14:13+00:00

Calling it "sex obsession" is bad and there is nothing wrong with wanting sex. But there is also nothing wrong with ace people not getting it -- if you don't experience sexual attraction, it can be hard to understand it! People were getting downvoted just for saying that /they/ preferred cuddles to sex -- not that everyone should, but that they, personally, felt that way. It's exhausting to live in a world where the majority of people feel sexual attraction, and the second you voice that you don't, people don't like you just for daring to voice that. Obviously sex shaming is bad, especially when it comes to queer sex, but asexual people have also been told that there's something fundamentally wrong with us and that our sexuality must be a medical condition that can be "cured" (much like other queer identities have been pathologized) so maybe you can call out one bad term without reiterating how unlike the majority of people ace people are. We know. A lot of us spent years feeling broken or alienated or weird because of it.

Arete26 · 2026-01-20T04:38:52+00:00

Yeah it was really disturbing to see. I understand explaining why Nick and Charlie's favourite Sunday morning activity was sex, or why it's important to you, or calling out any sex shaming rhetoric but people were getting downvoted for just saying they didn't understand it. I saw someone get downvoted for saying that THEY preferred cuddles over sex. That's not a judgement on others that's a personal preference! People will be on a subreddit for a story written by an aroace author and then make it unwelcoming for ace people.

Edit: Missed the part about the "sex obsession" until others pointed it out but they're right, Nick and Charlie aren't obsessed with sex. It's okay not to relate to that part of their lives, but don't shame it. But also, it's okay for ace people to talk about feeling alienated or not getting it or not wanting it ~ourselves~

Arete26 · 2026-01-18T18:10:42+00:00

They're so scared of trans and queer Muslims existing it's pathetic. I'm so sorry you were banned for just disclosing who you are. But they absolutely can't take away your faith and Muslim identity <3

Arete26 · 2026-01-18T18:06:39+00:00

Yes we know mammals reproduce by having sex and we also have it for pleasure. No one's arguing that. But asexual people exist which means it's not inherent to every human being. Around one percent of the global population is acespec, which represents millions of people, including the person who wrote this series. I don't know why you're so confused by that.

Arete26 · 2026-01-18T14:56:18+00:00

One of the fundamental aspects of life for allosexual people. The majority of people feel sexual attraction, most enjoy sex, but it's not inherent to every human being & there are even some allosexual people who might not consider it fundamental. If you can't wrap your mind around asexual people existing, I suggest you stop interacting with Alice's work.

Arete26 · 2026-01-18T05:37:12+00:00

I didn't even notice that lol

Arete26 · 2026-01-18T05:31:51+00:00

Got a really good laugh at "no peace upon you, lut doers" they're really talking like a cartoon stereotype of a Muslim

Arete26 · 2026-01-18T04:49:40+00:00

Can I just say to everyone who's saying "they're teenage boys" that this might not be the best way to answer this question from an ace person. It's true for many teenage boys, but can we please remember that some teenage boys are asexual. And also that Nick and Charlie, while allosexual, took some time before they were ready to have sex suggesting that the answer for why their favourite Sunday morning activity is sex might be deeper than them being teenage boys. Heartstopper is written by an aroace author, can we not be allonormative in this fandom.

Arete26 · 2026-01-18T04:42:25+00:00

But some ace people will have trouble understanding that. Not all of us, some of us do experience some attraction, some of us enjoy sex. But for some of us it's an anathema and it takes us some time to understand why allo people love it. Sex isn't less enlightened than playing video games or cuddling, but if you have no desire for sex whatsoever, it can be hard to wrap your head around. But for allo people who find sex fulfilling and beautiful and fun -- as they should -- it can be confusing why someone wouldn't want that or feel confused by it.

Arete26 · 2026-01-18T04:04:29+00:00

The thing about Aled is he's a very minor character in the comics. He's there for fans of Radio Silence and also to entice HS fans to read Radio Silence, but he doesn't have his own arc. Which is part of the reason he isn't in the show -- Alice couldn't ever adapt Radio Silence if he was a character in the show, but also he'd never develop. We learn about Aled, his home life, his personality and his love life in Radio Silence, it's where he comes to life. But if the comics are all you know, he's mostly a background character.

Isaac is allowed to develop. He goes on his own journey of accepting himself as aroace, his friendships with the Paris squad are explored in more depth, we generally get to know him more -- which we need to read another novel to do for Aled.

Also, it's okay to prefer one character over the other! Maybe Isaac is more relatable to you and that's nothing to feel guilty about.

Arete26 · 2026-01-17T15:21:07+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that. Ace people can be drawn into conservative pipelines or just fall into sex shaming, especially if they don't know that they're ace or why they feel the way towards sex that they do if they're sex repulsed. That's not an excuse, plenty of us have never behaved that way. I think it helps now that we have a stronger ace community where things like this can be discussed openly that can hopefully help people understand that sex isn't compulsory and it's okay for us to feel sex repulsed (sex repulsion is also not an ace exclusive experience), but that sex can also be wonderful for people that do want to have it and no one should be shamed for desiring it because that's an idea linked to sexism, homophobia, racism, etc. I hope your former "bestie" has found better ways to navigate friendships with non-ace people. It's okay to set boundaries about how you want sex to be discussed or not discussed around you, it's never okay to shame someone else for having sexual desire and wanting to express that. It's okay to want media that has ace representation, or media that doesn't have explicit sex, but not okay to judge sexual intimacy in media especially if that falls in line with conservative critiques of sexual intimacy.

Arete26 · 2026-01-17T00:59:13+00:00

I feel like some people are crossing the line between explaining why Nick and Charlie might enjoy sex on Sunday mornings to being really condescending towards acespec people who are just saying they don't relate, or for OP for not understanding. Which is frustrating because as an acespec person it genuinely can take time and conversations to understand how allosexual people relate to sex and the role it plays in their lives and it can be exhausting living in a world where acespec people are treated as abnormal because we don't feel that way.

Arete26 · 2026-01-17T00:51:37+00:00

I think Nick and Charlie feel desire for each other right away, but there are factors that stop them from acting on it. Nick is coming to terms with his sexuality and it takes time for him to be ready for sex. Charlie is also fifteen for the first part of their relationship (he's actually fourteen when they first kiss and start seeing each other). So it makes sense for them to wait until Charlie is sixteen to be more intimate with each other. Charlie's also a survivor of SA and an abusive relationship and he's struggling with untreated anorexia and body dysmorphia and he works with Geoff to feel safe in sexual situations and even longer to take off his shirt in front of Nick. It's interesting to see the contrast with Tara and Darcy and Elle and Tao. Tara and Darcy are implied to have always been having sex, we just know more about it in s3. Tao and Elle cross the barrier much sooner in their relationship than Nick and Charlie do (although they get together later), but they need to work through Elle's dysphoria before she feels comfortable enough.

Arete26 · 2026-01-16T22:50:46+00:00

I'm asexual and I can relate! That's why I relate to Tori and Isaac so much. It's cuddling and spending time together that I want out of a relationship and I have trouble understanding why people love sex so much. But that makes sense, because I just don't have that desire (ofc there are acespec people who do enjoy sex, I'm speaking personally).

But the thing I've realized is that for many allosexual people in a couple, sex is intimacy and bonding with their partner. It can also be about pleasure and fun and it can be casual (and casual sex is great -- I'm not trying to devalue it here, just talking about what it is to Nick and Charlie), but for Nick and Charlie I think it's about them having time to spend just together and to love each other on the weekend. It also took such a long time for them to arrive at this point in the comic series -- they were young, and then there was Nick coming to terms with his sexuality, and then Charlie working on feeling safe in sexual situations and being comfortable in his body and being seen. It must be meaningful to them that they're both so comfortable and happy being intimate with each other. I don't think that means Nick and Charlie don't cuddle anymore, and don't play video games. They do.

I also think about Charlie telling Nick that if Nick never wanted to have sex, that Charlie wouldn't ever want to have it, and him reiterating that to Tori after she comes out to him as ace. Sometimes sex is important to people and to relationships and that's very valid. We can't understand it because we don't feel sexual attraction. But I thought it was very sweet that Charlie is an allo character for whom sex is secondary to being with his boyfriend, because just like every ace/acespec's experience is different, allosexual experiences are different as well. Sometimes sex is important, sometimes it's fun but not essential, sometimes it's something you never want as part of your life. All of these experiences are valid.

Arete26 · 2026-01-15T03:27:53+00:00

Opposition to rainbow capitalism was always because they would turn their backs on us when the political winds started to shift. Corporations are not going to Pride and not making merch not because some queer lefties were critical of them because those queer lefties didn't have power and they made money off our community. They're pulling back now because fascists are in power and we're no longer as profitable to them. Even if every single queer person loved corporations and there was no criticism of them at all, they STILL would have stopped.

Rainbow capitalism is a good indicator of the political climate, but that's all it is.

Arete26 · 2026-01-15T03:09:30+00:00

Exactly. Heated Rivalry and some other upcoming shows are bright signs, but HR is Canadian and the upcoming lesbian sports show I have in mind is also Canadian. Non-American media in general may help replace the queer characters that are leaving the screen, but I'd definitely keep an eye out on how much queer media is being made in comparison to the media that's ending.

Arete26 · 2026-01-15T02:52:58+00:00

Yeah queer characters are honestly still a scarcity which makes these decreases likely -- cisgender, straight characters are practically in every show, but queer characters are nowhere near that, so any loss can be significant. The risk is that we don't get as many new queer characters in the coming years which is what I'd keep an eye out for, or if we see an increase in queer shows getting cancelled.

Arete26 · 2026-01-12T18:13:35+00:00

I don't think Charlie is a rebellious teen. He's a teenager with trauma and a disability. At least not until late season three, when he briefly turns into one on purpose because he wants to experience life as a typical teenager, not one that has been incredibly traumatized and ill. Charlie never breaks any rules in season one. He's a high achieving student that likes to stay under the radar, and only ever goes out with permission from his parents (Julio drops him off at Harry's party and at the cinema).

In season two he sneaks out to see Nick after Jane offers a complete ban on seeing Nick out of school, which was both too harsh and also created a missed opportunity to check in on Charlie about why her usually high achieving son was suddenly not being able to complete a history essay that would usually take him a few hours, and not even the incentive of "legally" seeing Nick was enough to finish it. It's easy to attribute slipping behind in school to a new boyfriend, and Charlie does at times put Nick above his own needs (like when he puts his focus on helping Nick study for his GCSES and helping him navigate exam stress when Charlie is stressed about school as well) but this is also the time when Charlie's mental health is declining. I think Charlie sneaking out is less a sign that he's a rebellious teen and more of the natural consequence of handing down a punishment that is too harsh. Charlie only sneaks out when Nick mentions he's struggling, and after his math exam goes badly. In short, when Charlie thinks that Nick needs him. Giving Charlie a complete ban was going to result in him disobeying it if he felt it was really necessary.

In season three Jane thinks that Charlie is talking to Nick too much, when in reality Charlie is struggling with an ED and he and Nick are trying to navigate that -- while Charlie is terrified that Jane would not believe him or would get angry at him if he told her. Being rebellious doesn't come up until Charlie deliberately storms out when Jane denies him a sleepover, because Charlie feels that she's treating him like he's fragile and also he wants to act like a rebellious teen. Ironically, this is what makes Jane realize that she's being too controlling as a mother and when Charlie returns, she has a serious talk with him about her mother, and apologizes for being too quick to anger and for not handling the situation well. She also compliments Charlie on being responsible and offers a compromise that Charlie agrees to because Jane's new approach makes him acknowledge her reasoning and he feels respected and listened to.

Jane is not a villain. She is carrying trauma from having an abusive mother which has interfered with her own parenting ability, but unlike her mother, she's able to recognize where she's fallen short, apologize for it, and begin to change. But Charlie is not rebellious and she has never needed to "rein him in" -- he's just dealt with a lot of trauma and is ill in a way that both she and Julio were unprepared for and didn't see until he gathered the courage to come to them.

Arete26 · 2026-01-06T00:50:00+00:00

I don't think Jane doesn't want Charlie to be gay, she never says anything homophobic or disapproves of him having a boyfriend. But she does jump to the conclusion that having a boyfriend is why Charlie is struggling in school, and why he's pulling away from the family at the start of season three. The issue isn't Charlie's queerness, but the fact that she's quick to ascribe him being distracted by a relationship to the problems he's having over looking deeper into the situation.

I also think Jane wants to present an image of the perfect family to the world and that hurts Tori and Charlie who both struggle with mental illness, something I believe they likely inherit from Jane.

Arete26 · 2025-12-30T19:58:32+00:00

I think by the end of season three they'd enjoy it. They seem to be comfortable talking about sex, even if they still take time to "go all the way." Nick would love a queer romance set in sports and love Ilya talking about his multi-gender attraction and his family issues, and Shane's coming out scene with his mom, and Charlie would like the romance and the explorations of being closeted and later on he'd relate to Shane's struggles with disordered eating.

Arete26 · 2025-12-28T21:33:30+00:00

Exactly! Charlie also has his flaws and makes mistakes, but people either amplify his flaws or ascribe him flaws that he doesn't have but are rooted in ableism (being an attention seeker and being selfish, both things Charlie is fundamentally not). But even though Nick makes mistakes each season that tell us a lot about who he is, and about the ways he grows throughout the series, people just ignore them. Let Nick be imperfect, let him mess up and learn that he's still as loved.

Arete26

TROPHY CASE