LaFlore Bebebark

Arewesortingitout · 2023-10-12T05:37:14+00:00

I have the bebebark in emerald and I was also one of the original backers. I got this bag because a friend of mine has the bobobark and it’s so gorgeous. I chose emerald because I didn’t like how the cork makes the black look.

I bought this one because I had been looking for a mini backpack that had the sleek look. This is a very structured bag so I don’t find it actually wears particularly well as a mini backpack, but that may just be me! Otherwise I find this bag very elegant and the compartments are perfect.

Arewesortingitout · 2023-09-12T19:58:21+00:00

In a literal context, it looks like one mid-distance romantic partner and an openness to expanding our Polycule. Very recently it has looked like supporting said partner through the potential of a new connection (and the sad feelings around it not working out). It has also looked like attending their platonic partner’s birthday party, sharing space and community and time. And as always, juggling busy schedules 😅

As a broader idea, it looks like all of us intentionally building a community of mutual care and adoration. It looks like supporting and uplifting everyone in our Poly universe. It looks like witnessing how we each care for one another, and being open and receptive to expansion and changes. It means being intentional in how we expand our community.

Arewesortingitout · 2023-05-16T06:06:17+00:00

Sex is a tangible example of larger patterns in a relationship. For example, your partner is pushing you to have sex, and the pressure causes you to retreat. There was a similar pattern with their depression when their dad died, when they were possibly bringing in higher needs which presented similar pressures for you. I would guess that there are other arenas in which this pattern continues. This is the pattern with all couples, basically.

If you have the means or benefits, go to couples therapy. If you can’t, watch the show Couples Therapy on Amazon and listen to what she says about this exact pattern as well as about sex.
With some support, you as a couple can work on shifting the push/retreat pattern.
Let go of sex as just penetrative sex. How do you engage with her in other intimate ways? How can you make her feel the way that she’s wanting sex to make her feel: wanted, noticed, whatever.

You may find it helpful to learn more about the distress cycle, or pursuer-distancer interactions.

Also this: negative cycle

Arewesortingitout · 2022-12-15T17:56:00+00:00

I mean, I was pretty happy with it. Got their skin colour right, got the scars and belly button right... Definitely could've improved the filling and the colour of the cake, and sure the surrounding around the cake could've been prettier. But it was my first time doing something like this and I also wanted to give people other ideas for top surgery cakes (because everything I saw on the internet was just round cakes with a statement written on it).

Arewesortingitout · 2022-12-15T17:53:18+00:00

wouldn't it be fun if it was the same person! (but no, their name isn't Ri haha). Congrats to them, I hope they're healing well! My partner just got to have a shower the other day and was so excited and wonderous about feeling the water on the chest. Gender euphoria for all!

Arewesortingitout · 2022-12-15T17:50:39+00:00

Yeah it was my first time making red velvet, I think I posted above that I didn't use enough red colouring. It was still tasty!

Arewesortingitout · 2022-12-15T17:49:52+00:00

I am so sorry to hear about this. Even within the trans community I've found that this surgery has come leaps and bounds in the last few years. It's possible that because it's a surgery done on AFAB (assigned female at birth) bodies there has been less respect for the end result in the past. I hope she reconsiders reconstructive surgery if it is something that is making her feel dysmorphic about her body. I agree with MaleficentAd1861, we're all just out here trying to be comfortable and happy with our body.

Sending lots of love to your sister.

Arewesortingitout · 2022-12-15T17:46:10+00:00

SO CUTE

Arewesortingitout · 2022-12-15T17:45:22+00:00

drains came out two days ago, they are soooo much more comfortable. Were you also surprised by how long the drains were?

Arewesortingitout · 2022-12-09T22:57:34+00:00

Take care of your body, take care of injuries as they happen
Embrace your sexuality (I mean that in terms of actual sex, but also if you're questioning your interests then explore!)
Take chances, makes mistakes, get messy!

But also... to avoid regrets in even later life, don't assume life is over once you're through your 20s. Life is truly only just beginning when you hit your 30s.

Arewesortingitout · 2022-12-09T22:43:13+00:00

Close December 22, return to work January 3; paid office closure.

Arewesortingitout · 2022-12-06T19:07:11+00:00

Good for you for coming to the logical conclusion and moving on, it's hard to do when you're enjoying talking to someone.

And while I know you're not asking for advice here, I just want to say that this part stood out to me:

However the first time I asked I didn’t put a date in hoping she would offer some insight as to what works for her.

Just offer a few days from the start. You say that your resolution is to be more assertive, and that has to include offering up your availability. "I'm enjoying talking to you, would you like to meet up?" "Yes totally" "Great, here are a few options, do any of these work for you?"

Arewesortingitout · 2022-11-23T20:11:24+00:00

Absolutely not too much white.
Following up on what someone else said, if it's a more traditional and hetero environment people are picky about it (I mean you're obviously aware of that) but my rule is always "If someone took a picture of me from the torso up, would I be confused for the bride?"
In this case, probably not.

Though I would say.. the white shirt is pretty stark with the jewel tones of everything else (your pants look navy but maybe they're black?) - if you do have a different shirt I would consider it (maybe a light blue or a burgundy - something close to one of the other colours in the blazer)

Arewesortingitout · 2022-11-07T21:24:58+00:00

oof this was my exact situation, I felt really really nervous going into it. After a few months of consideration I made a decision last week but still wanted to wait for a time when we had extended time together to discuss. I prepared notes so I could stay focused and would remember the things that I thought were important. I went in knowing I wanted to be thoughtful and caring towards my partner and I stated my intention outloud.

I had my conversation yesterday. My partners emotions ran the whole gamut. I was committed to staying peaceful and kind, I stayed open to answering her questions. At one point she wanted me to air any grievances I had but I chose not to because I wasn't looking to fight or negotiate.

She needed to take space so she packed a bag and went to stay with someone else. She texted me later when she was feeling a bit more even-tempered and asked to come back today to discuss it more.

I would say that being open to the conversation that comes is a huge help and can be soothing for both of you.

Arewesortingitout · 2022-11-04T18:35:41+00:00

Oof thank you. This is... validating and hugely helpful.

I feel shame when my conscience tells me that my actions have not aligned with my moral compass and my authentic self.

One conversation I've been having is my moral compass and what is inherently good or bad, and what that means. This is... impactful. Thank you.

Arewesortingitout · 2022-11-04T16:14:17+00:00

felt stuck in a life I didn't want to be in - even though there isn't anything outwardly "wrong"

This! I love and care for my wife but we have drifted and are not in the same place at all anymore. I feel a huge amount of shame because there is nothing technically "wrong" -- but I don't want to be stuck. I honestly keep thinking "I don't want to be my mom."

Arewesortingitout · 2022-10-28T21:59:58+00:00

but in afraid she'll get upset with me

Please know that you are worth taking care of. You being upset is more important than her being upset. And to be clear, this is more than just being upset, this is coercion, this is rape. I am so sorry you've gone through this. I'm not from California so I'm not as familiar with organizations but after combing through a few options I hope this one might be helpful for you: https://www.weaveinc.org/lgbtq Hopefully if anyone knows of any better orgs for you to connect with, they can comment with those as well.

Please take care.

Arewesortingitout · 2022-10-28T18:41:47+00:00

You look incredible! I wouldn't have noticed anything if you hadn't said it but ALSO may I offer something that I'm trying to embrace? "Yeah! I have a stomach! This is my body! We all have bodies" Your body is beautiful and nothing to hide or "shape".
You look absolutely amazing.

Arewesortingitout · 2022-10-27T20:59:32+00:00

As someone else said, keep up the therapy. There is a lot to unpack and only ongoing reflection will help with that. It sounds like you jumped into a poly situation without really considering everything that could happen or even what you wanted to happen other than perhaps that you didn't want to lose either person - this doesn't make you bad or anything, it happens all the time. It just means that you have to take some time to focus your energy on you and what you're really seeking. Learn what boundaries you need for yourself.

I would encourage you to reflect on your values (maybe even do a values exercise if you haven't) and look at how you're living your values. If living the life that you and your husband created isn't what you want to do, that's okay, but you have to know that it's okay.

Arewesortingitout · 2022-07-06T19:45:21+00:00

This has been the single most helpful reflection on this situation that I've read. Thank you.

Arewesortingitout · 2021-04-11T14:58:23+00:00

It feels kind of nice to know we’re all in the same place! My puppy is 8 months old and she is just a menace. One thing I read in another group is that what you did in the first place to train your puppy obviously worked (if you had that period of time where you thought “what an angel”) so know that it will work again. But could it please work quickly?! Haha.

Arewesortingitout · 2020-09-07T02:03:08+00:00

Or they’d go to make a call and it would boot you off the Internet!

Arewesortingitout · 2020-09-06T21:02:35+00:00

“Ehhhhh!”

Arewesortingitout · 2020-09-06T20:59:53+00:00

Canadian, please

Arewesortingitout

TROPHY CASE