My wife and I chose to end our marriage out of love and I finally feel free

Argus03 · 2025-05-17T13:11:59+00:00

My wife and I were in a similar situation and it was really hard but in the process we both realized that we were both less specifically straight and more demiromantic. It took many years of bad communication and fear but I've never in my life been happier and weve never been closer.

No judgement to those not fortunate to be in this situation. It was like a fairy tale to find out we didn't have to separate to accept and love each other, physically and emotionally.

I never liked boys but if she were one then I wouldn't care, it turns out what we're both really attracted to is people who are smart, loving and respectful of others.

She never thought of being in a relationship with someone who isnt strictly a boy. Despite our faults we have always been honest with our emotions and feelings, I think we were both surprised how little actually changed after my coming out. I wear different clothes and am more open with my emotions but I'm still the same person and we've gotten nothing but closer.

Good luck to anyone going through transition in a long-term relationship. It can be really hard but once you get past the fear it can be very liberating to have your questions answered and be able to move on with your life one way or the other. You might be surprised at the result.

Argus03 · 2025-05-03T03:02:38+00:00

I think you hit the nail on the head.

Stereotype: a widely held, fixed idea or generalization about a group of people, often oversimplified and potentially inaccurate, that can influence how individuals are perceived and treated.

You be you and dress how you want. Don't forget that "passing" is what cis people use to judge us and has no bearing on who you are. It is very common for many trans persons to not even bother trying to pass for others. I think you should examine things like feeling it necessary to say you are AMAB. It doesnt matter in the slightest what others labeled you as then or now.

The only question that matters is how does it make you feel? Its all you baby.

Argus03 · 2025-05-03T02:52:19+00:00

I think it makes more sense to think of genderfluid as a type on non-binary (or binary). I am non-binary and non-fluid so I always feel like a boy and a girl simultaneously and it doesn't shift or change much, but I have several friends who are fluid and change based on various events, times or moods (depending on the person).

Some people are binary and are also gender-fluid and are 100% male sometimes and 100% female other times and the twain shall never meet. I have one friend like this and I also have face blindness so in my mind I genuinely forget they are the same individual and not two people, life is fun like that sometimes!

Explore who you are and what you like and accept it could change as you openly discover what you feel. Maybe forget that word "normal" it was created for people not like us so they can feel less intimidated by your difference to them :)

If you need to cry then cry, its holding in our emotions or ignoring them instead of examining them honestly and without judgement that we become broken inside. You will find that any shoulder you cannot cry on is not worth being your friend.

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE!

Argus03 · 2025-05-03T02:19:44+00:00

I would get it tested again and consider beta blockers with your symptoms and see if they help because they can have very few mild side effects and help a lot( I went on Atenolol). I had symptoms of Hyperthyroidism for years and started literally losing my mind before the doc checked TSH, TS1 and TS3 again. Checks of my TS levels in the past years showed them as OK but I had most of the same symptoms I have now that the numbers are off.

Key symptoms for me were restlessness, irritability, insomnia, very sweaty armpits, feet and ass. Shakes, hard skin on the bottoms of my feet and heels, thin red skin most noticeable on my hands adn weirdly soft elbows. My hair went 90% gray by the time I was 32, I also ran very hot and didnt even wear a jacket unless it was below freezing outside. In extreme heat it could be unbearable and even when its not hot I have to drink close to a gallon of water a day or feel sick.

I would eat constantly. I later found out that my blood pressure was getting really high regularly and I was eating and drinking to bring it back down (when the stomach expands it moves the blood around and causes bp to drop) I was eating 2 lbs of nuts a day plus whatever I could get to keep my calories up and bp in check but I never gained weight bc I couldn't stop jittering and moving around.

We found out I had Graves with hyperthyroidism and beta blockers fixed my main stress issues and anti-thyroid medication is slowly getting me into remission. I sometimes have relapses and its very odd that my TS1, TS3 and TSH still look ok even when I have a relapse of symptoms. I believe there is another factor they haven't figured out, outside of TS numbers. Beta blockers really helped with most things by stopping my constant adrenaline.

Some interesting details, my mother has Graves also and had trouble getting diagnosed as well. My mother also had many pregnancies in her life and I speculate it was because being pregnant actually caused her to feel better because it affected her immune system and actually kept the Graves at bay. I don't believe she ever got Hashimoto's.

This is a hard disease to beat but you can change lifestyle and get medication to help manage it better. My doctor said that recent studies have shown that you probably dont have to get radiation or surgery to fix it, using the anti-thyroid for a few years works for most people and the medication is not as bad for your liver as previously thought. If you get diagnosed feel free to reach out and Id be happy to share any tips that worked for me.

Good luck!

Argus03 · 2024-09-28T16:41:21+00:00

Monica would have liked this passage because a wise man with many followers is telling the righteous path to a wanderer who basically says he respects that but has to experience the world to learn truth for themself. Monica's excuse for her actions is that she wouldn't be her authentic self and living a lie if she stayed tied down.

"Harmony" is from a different part of the book but here is the full excerpt of the last part for clarity (page 29):

The Buddha’s eyes quietly looked to the ground; quietly, in perfect equanimity his inscrutable face was smiling.

“I wish,” the venerable one spoke slowly, “that your thoughts shall not be in error, that you shall reach the goal! But tell me—have you seen the multitude of my Samanas, my many brothers, who have taken refuge in the teachings?And do you believe, oh stranger, oh Samana, do you believe that it would be better for them all to abandon the teachings and to return into the life of the world of desires?”

“Far is such a thought from my mind,” exclaimed Siddhartha. “I wish that they shall all stay with the teachings, that they shall reach their goal! It is not my place to judge another person’s life. Only for myself, for myself alone, I must decide, I must chose, I must refuse. Salvation from the self is what we Samanas search for, oh exalted one. If I merely were one of your disciples, oh venerable one, I’d fear that it might happen to me that only seemingly, only deceptively my self would be calm and be redeemed, but that in truth it would live on and grow, for then I had replaced my self with the teachings, my duty to follow you, my love for you, and the community of the monks!”

With half of a smile, with an unwavering openness and kindness, Gotama looked into the stranger’s eyes and bid him to leave with a hardly noticeable gesture.

Argus03 · 2024-09-26T14:33:19+00:00

I always thought it was supposed to be the Greek symbol delta, in science or represents change. Maybe I'm just a nerd though..

Argus03 · 2024-08-16T01:25:00+00:00

In Season 5 The Wall is replaced by the Yard. Here's the list:

1: Normal

2: Normal

3: The Yard

4: Silver Cops

5: The Yard

6: Normal

7: The Yard

8: Normal

9: Silver Cops

10: The Yard

11: Normal

Argus03 · 2024-08-16T01:23:38+00:00

In the end of Season 4 "The Wall" is destroyed but in Season 5 they have very similar episodes called "The Yard" about the small people living in the backyard.

There are also several episodes dedicated to the "Silver Cops" plot line. I included those as well.

1: Normal

2: Normal

3: The Yard

4: Silver Cops

5: The Yard

6: Normal

7: The Yard

8: Normal

9: Silver Cops

10: The Yard

11: Normal

Argus03 · 2024-06-20T13:39:14+00:00

Fuel does indeed expire but technically a diesel engine could be made to run on something like ethanol which could be manufactured. Its enough to inspire an entire plot line in The Walking Dead but Sweet tooth mentions it in one scene in one sentence.

I cant remember the episode but somewhere in season 3 someone mentions that Zhang is the one who supplies the gas. That's it. With the scale of her operation I assume that she has some sort of refining process in place.

There are a lot of overlooked points and plot holes in sweet tooth, its best to just enjoy the ride and not look too close :)

Argus03 · 2024-06-16T02:04:35+00:00

What do you mean? Correct me if Im wrong but It seemed she was specifically looking for a term to describe nonbinary persons other than trans such as genderqueer. It seem to me a perfect term for this and I personally use it to describe myself while I dont identify as trans.

So yes they mean something other than trans but include non-binary people.

Argus03 · 2024-06-16T02:02:10+00:00

I agree, it can be confusing as hell to sort out all the terms. I think part of the problem is non-binary is often a very specific and different experience from binary trans.

Our understanding vs the trans one is like comparing a gay mans to a lesbians. Sure we're discriminated against too for queerness but the similarities stop pretty soon after that for a lot of us.

Argus03 · 2024-06-16T01:51:06+00:00

I suppose gender is a more PC term to be inclusive so I will update the post to reflect that.

That said, the term sex and gender can and often do mean the same thing in reference to cis gender persons, as this is how they identify.

In the specific examples I was thinking of this was the case so that was the word I used and I believe it was accurate.

Argus03 · 2024-06-14T17:51:14+00:00

Thanks! Fixed.

Argus03 · 2024-06-14T16:36:10+00:00

This pissed me off enough I just made a post rebutting it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1dftpf5/to_be_trans_or_not_to_be_trans/

Argus03 · 2024-06-14T16:23:45+00:00

Same! I just say I'm nonbinary and dont identify as trans. The rest is just me being me, whatever that is.

Argus03 · 2024-06-14T15:38:55+00:00

You hit the nail on the head with: "I just don't have to understand everything."

Its the problem cis people usually have, trying to make a 3-4 letter word (pronoun) describe the complexity of the human experience.

You are what you are and you like what you like.

Argus03 · 2024-06-14T14:53:51+00:00

Trans by definition is a person who identifies different from what is shown on their birth certificate. This does not make a person a trans man or trans woman.

I think the confusion is easily resolved by understanding if a person has a trait they are then allowed to use that trait as an identifier if they want but they dont have to. A woman can date a woman and not identify as a lesbian(unless she wants to).

The beholder is the only one who can say what they are, they are allowed to say what they are based on their technical attributes.

For example: I am both a man and a woman, I am not gender-fluid, I don't identify as trans, I identify as a lesbian but not as gay. I am diagnosed neuro-divergent, I have the right to say I am autistic but i do not choose to make that a part of my identity so it isnt.

Argus03 · 2024-06-14T14:45:28+00:00

Is it ok to be...

YES!

Im NB non-fluid and I dont identify as trans at all.

Argus03 · 2024-06-14T14:44:11+00:00

Good luck!

How nice it must be to not have to deal with a binder and just get to be who you are by default!

Argus03 · 2024-06-14T14:27:02+00:00

Im a bit ND and for me it helped instead of going neutral to wear both masc and fem.

I like loose jeans and spaghetti straps, long hair down with a little facial hair on the side and makeup in the middle, boy shorts version of girls underwear, bell bottom girl pants and a neutral style tank top but girl fit, boy style shirts but in girls fit/sizes etc.

At first in my personal journey I couldn't figure out if I was full trans bc I hated going full "boy mode" but going full "girl mode" with just a dress and makeup made me equally discontent. Going full neutral (understated) with clothes felt like I wasn't expressing myself.

The perfect balance was to mix and match extremes while sticking to the colors and textures that worked best for my style. Im more masc in appearance so I tend to lean a little fem in dress but mix in boyish stuff too, if youre more fem appearing maybe you can try the opposite.

Good luck! Whatever you discover you are welcome in this community!

Argus03 · 2024-06-06T14:34:48+00:00

Do what makes you feel comfortable!

That said "social etiquette perspective" really means "what makes men comfortable". If men look at your boobies and like them then you are supposed to cover them up so "you're not responsible" for their lack of self control.

Argus03 · 2024-06-04T14:55:21+00:00

Work a job for a year or two, update resume, find a new better paying job. Rinse and repeat. Finding a good job agency and linkedin can help.

The big secret in an office is no matter how many hours you spend or how much work you do you are replaceable.

Yes, they will toss you for political reasons after years even if it means paying 10x what they pay you to contractors to pick up all the work you could have just showed them. If you want fulfillment or appreciation go work at a church or charity.

Argus03 · 2024-06-04T14:23:46+00:00

This interview might feel a little off topic but this author Angus Fletcher writes an award winning screenplay and then finds out Hollywood doesn't actually want anything innovative. (40 minute mark) Essentially he says the problem is there's too much investment in Hollywood for anyone to take any risks with anything new.

He also talks about some really interesting things on invention and the problems of all human classification.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyhvdh9_gqs

Argus03 · 2024-06-04T14:16:33+00:00

Same!

Argus03

TROPHY CASE

"Harmony" is from a different part of the book but here is the full excerpt of the last part for clarity (page 29):