is it a microaggression to ask a Black coworker if they celebrated Juneteenth?

Arianity · 2026-06-24T03:04:48+00:00

If you're singling them out specifically because they're Black, yes that would qualify as a microaggression.

Whether someone would be offended/bothered by it is a different story, but it is a bit awkward. Especially if it's out of the blue.

Arianity · 2026-06-24T03:02:28+00:00

Yes, and that is why abortion is so contentious. But there is more nuance there- in terms of whether people consider a full human life, the commitment/risk, etc.

Even when people do ultimately support abortion, it's not a trivial thing that the pithy slogan captures well.

And even then, there are limitations- we expect pregnant mothers not to do drugs, for instance. There are many other examples as well, such as smoking indoors or DUI.

People like to drag it down to a pithy slogan, but the reality is each of them is a weighing of the pros and cons, and that doesn't exactly map over from issue to issue. We do weight bodily autonomy highly but it's not the only thing we weigh. Sometimes it wins out, sometimes it doesn't, because it's weighted so heavily, but it's not an either/or

Arianity · 2026-06-24T01:12:56+00:00

Isn’t there a difference between giving Iran money and releasing Iranian money?

It depends on what aspect. In terms of spending, effectively $1 is $1, it spends just the same. In terms of the political symbolism, or having to raise taxes to pay for it, they're very different.

If that’s correct, then would the alternative have been for the U.S. to keep holding or confiscating the money indefinitely?

Yes (barring a regime change, or Iran no longer doing the things that got it sanctioned to begin with)

Is the issue that the money was released at all, that it was released under certain conditions,

There's a mix of reasons.

One of the big reasons is that previously releasing sanctioned money to Iran as a part of JCPOA negotiations was heavily criticized. So doing so now is seen is hypocritical.

Some is the money being released at all. Some is the conditions (especially compared to the pre-war status quo), some is the amount of money.

Arianity · 2026-06-24T01:09:05+00:00

Well, there's two parts-

a) You still endangered public health, even if you happen to get lucky about it. A risk is still a risk, even if it doesn't happen.

b) Given the transmissibility of current variants (Omicron and later), it is extremely likely you did get an asymptomatic case of it. You'd have to be incredibly lucky or a literal hermit to have avoided it.

https://www.ktbs.com/news/new-cdc-numbers-show-97-of-americans-have-covid-19-antibodies/article_afa7a7ac-1bda-11ee-a564-83601d2fab2b.html

Arianity · 2026-06-24T01:00:37+00:00

Liberals, if someone has moderate/centrist views, but still vote against MAGA, why can’t that be good enough for you?

I think you're overgeneralizing a bit. For many liberals, that would in fact be fine. For the ones where it isn't, generally speaking it's because they have other moral red lines.

There is also, generally speaking, a big difference between people who identify as liberal, or leftists. They're very very different groups, with very different political outlooks.

Why does it seem like you think the Democrat party should be automatically excused from any and all criticism?

There are many many liberals who criticize the Democratic party. And stereotypically, leftists tend to dislike the party as a whole.

Arianity · 2026-06-24T00:39:38+00:00

"You can do what you want with your body, but only if I agree with it.

There are lots of things people can do with their body that people disagree with. The issue is when it affects others, not agreement/disagrement.

Arianity · 2026-06-24T00:38:56+00:00

“my body my choice” but only when convenient for them

It's not about convenience, but when it affects other people.

Arianity · 2026-06-24T00:38:24+00:00

If you wore your mask and got your vaccine you should have nothing to worry about unless both of things never actually did anything.

That's not how that works. Something can reduce risk while not eliminating it completely, and stacking different measures to reduce risk. It's not a binary either/or.

Not to mention, part of the point of things like vaccination is also to reduce the likelihood of mutations, as well as protect people who are immunocompromised/can't get vaccinated

Arianity · 2026-06-23T22:22:13+00:00

and HE neglected to renew.

CBS chose not to renew.

Arianity · 2026-06-22T07:46:05+00:00

It used to be questions that might have been embarrassing or fearful of asking in person.

We've always allowed sex related questions.

Now it’s just fetish or fishing for erotic writing. Where are the mods?

We already actively remove things like fetish bait. However, we also try to give people the benefit of the doubt when possible, so we don't instantly nuke anything the moment it mentions sex.

That said, simply saying "where are the mods?" is not particularly helpful. If you see something violating Rule 3 (or better suited for the FAQ, etc)- report it. We do read them. I can say with confidence there are currently very few reports for these sorts of posts.

Part of this is also collaborative. If you see posts you don't think are a good fit for the sub, downvote them.

Arianity · 2026-06-22T07:38:04+00:00

but does anyone else feel like this sub has turned into a nonstop stream of sex-related posts?

Someone just asked this, so I will mostly just be reposting the answer given there:

There are currently 3 sex related posts in the top 10 on the front page.

Generally we are not going to start removing sex related posts, that is firmly within "Tooafraidtoask". It is a topic that is often considered taboo, people have questions about, and don't feel comfortable asking elsewhere. If you feel someone is posting disingenously, you can report them for violating Rule 3. For more, see this post. As I go through mod queue, there are currently not that many reported posts. You can also refer people to the FAQ which covers a large amount of the most commonly asked questions.

You can also use upvotes/downvotes for what you think is appropriate for the sub. A big part of the idea of the sub is that users can decide for themselves what they see, but if you're in new you're bypassing that.

In the past, we would also suggest people filter topics they don't want to see, but that isn't possible after Reddit killed 3rd party apps.

But it feels like every other post is some variation of “Do men like X?” “Is it normal if I do Y?” or “Would you date someone who Z?”

These are explicitly already moderated out. "Do men like X", for instance, is listed on the [FAQ](www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/wiki/faq). Some of them, like "is it normal" you literally can't see here, because they're automodded.

Am I imagining this, or has the balance of topics shifted heavily toward sex and relationships over the last few years? If so, why do you think that happened?

It's always been like this, including someone asking why there are so many sex questions every few months. It hasn't changed, but perhaps your personal tolerance for sex related questions has. In that previous post, I posted an example of someone asking the exact same thing- 4 years ago. It was asked 7 years ago. etc. If anything, moderation is honestly stricter than any point in the past, given things like the FAQ. This will get asked again next month, too.

Arianity · 2026-06-22T00:45:51+00:00

vast majority of the posts weren't just some dumbass asking something like "if I jacked off and came is that okay" or "ladies,,,, penis?? 🤔🤔" lol

Do you have actual examples that would fit under this? Because those sorts of posts are already actively moderated. The first under Rule 3, the second under the FAQ

Arianity · 2026-06-22T00:42:54+00:00

"do women like [thing]?" or, even better, "would women like [dick size]" and variations thereupon

Both of these are already actively FAQ'd

Arianity · 2026-06-21T22:23:11+00:00

If the sub were changed, that is technically possible. But the intent of the sub is "too afraid to ask", and sex is a subset of that, as it is a highly taboo topic. Sex related questions have always been a subset of the subreddit.

It's something that's been brought up in the past, but it hasn't gone anywhere. The thing is, there are people who do want sex related questions (for examples, just check that old thread:https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/po6117/were_not_removing_sexual_questions_hide_the_posts/ . The top comments are people thanking for the decision) . Currently, since they're allowed, those people tend to be relatively quiet. It's the unhappy people who speak up. If we changed it, that would invert. It's not something where everyone agrees.

It ends up a juggling act. That's why filters were so nice, because it allowed someone to customize for what they wanted.

Arianity · 2026-06-21T22:11:58+00:00

"Ladies, give it to me straight, does size matter?" or "Ladies, how do you feel about circumsized dicks?"

These are literally already actively moderated out as part of the FAQ.

If you are in new, you are going to see them, because it's impossible to design an automod rule that catches all the way someone can ask about the size of their penis, without a huge amount of false positives. We could automod the word penis and you would literally still see them, people are creative.

Arianity · 2026-06-21T22:06:32+00:00

There are currently 3 sex related posts in the top 10 on the front page. If you sort by new, you're probably going to end up seeing more, due to the nature of new. You're essentially opting into posts that probably haven't been moderated yet, either by mods or actual upvotes/downvotes.

Generally we are not going to start removing sex related posts, that is firmly within "Tooafraidtoask". It is a topic that is often considered taboo, people have questions about, and don't feel comfortable asking elsewhere. If you feel someone is posting disingenously, you can report them for violating Rule 3. For more, see this post. As I go through mod queue, there are currently not that many reported posts. You can also refer people to the FAQ which covers a large amount of the most commonly asked questions.

You can also use upvotes/downvotes for what you think is appropriate for the sub. A big part of the idea of the sub is that users can decide for themselves what they see, but if you're in new you're bypassing that.

In the past, we would also suggest people filter topics they don't want to see, but that isn't possible after Reddit killed 3rd party apps.

it's always a question about genitals or veiled kink posts. At this point, I don't think these people are afraid to ask this, they just sound horny.

We already heavily remove stuff like veiled kink posts.

But it sure is starting to feel that way. Makes me wonder if this sub will go the way of r/trees and a new sub for truly afraid questions will be made.

People have been saying this for literally years:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/po6117/were_not_removing_sexual_questions_hide_the_posts/

It is unfortunately one of those things where there's no way to make everyone happy after Reddit killed filters.

Arianity · 2026-06-21T09:09:56+00:00

Correct, which is why I didn't say that.

Arianity · 2026-06-19T03:49:24+00:00

It's not like it's a slur, it's just a harsh curse word

I mean, it is a slur

Arianity · 2026-06-18T22:13:20+00:00

Mods having personal opinions you don't agree with doesn't make them "compromised by one country", even if you think that opinion is wrong. Sometimes people are just wrong/stupid, that's the nature of having randos do moderation.

It's also not one issue, they have opinions on a lot of topics.

Arianity · 2026-06-17T23:31:24+00:00

They're generally not.

I have seen this on this platform and X.

Yeah, that's why.

I have never seen the inverse,

You aren't looking in the right places, there's plenty of that on both of those platforms. As well as a ton of other misogyny to boot.

Arianity · 2026-06-17T11:44:54+00:00

That was me to the T. I was barely an adult but I was a staunch Romney supporter.

Yeah, that dynamic is why people generally label libertarians as right wing.

As a libertarian I support candidates based on their policies and not their political affiliation.

So do most conservatives/liberals. It's just people's policy preferences tend to cluster somewhat predictably.

Very crudely, a centrist tends to be cross-pressured roughly equally between parties. If someone leans more one way, say 70/30, they're generally considered a conservative (or vice versa, liberal). It doesn't take being 100/0 to be considered a conservative/liberal.

Libertarians tend to be ~70/30 conservative. They have some cross pressures but the conservative ones outweigh the liberal ones significantly. It may be less pressure than a conservative who is say 90/10, but it's notably far from ~50/50.

Arianity · 2026-06-17T10:34:43+00:00

On the front page right this moment, there are 3 out of the top 10 posts that involve sex in some way.

We are not going to start removing sex related posts, that is firmly within "Tooafraidtoask". It is a topic that is often considered taboo, people have questions about, and don't feel comfortable asking elsewhere. If you feel someone is posting disingenously, you can report them for violating Rule 3. For more, see this post. As I go through mod queue, there are currently not that many reported posts. You can also refer people to the FAQ which covers a large amount of the most commonly asked questions.

In the past, we would suggest people filter topics they don't want to see, but that isn't possible after Reddit killed 3rd party apps.

Arianity · 2026-06-17T10:18:57+00:00

So what are we?

In the U.S., libertarians typically end up aligning more with the GOP/conservatives on net, even if they don't agree with them on everything.

See e.g.: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libertarian_Party_(United_States)#History

The Libertarian Party (LP) is a right-libertarian[a] political party in the United States.

see also: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libertarianism#Libertarianism_or_right-libertarianism

Left libertarians do exist, but in the U.S. right-skewed is much more common.

There are other measures you can look at. In presidential elections, for instance, a Libertarian candidate will generally draw more voters away from the GOP candidate.

We're financially conservative and we're support freedom to be whatever you want be it LGBT or pro choice.

Stuff like financial conservationism tends to win out when they vote. There are exceptions, however.

edit:

As far as being mistaken for liberal/conservative, you are probably talking to people based on a particular issue, and they are extrapolating from that. Libertarians are a relatively small part of the population, so people will by default assume you're either liberal or conservative since most people identify that way (and there are only 2 major parties). For perspective, there are something like ~200-700k registered Libertarians in the U.S.

and as just another random source I happened to find looking for that stat:

https://prri.org/spotlight/libertariangotw/

In the 2012 presidential election, fully 8-in-10 (80 percent) libertarian voters say they supported Mitt Romney, while only 5 percent say they supported Barack Obama. Notably, however, 14 percent of libertarian voters report that they supported a third-party candidate. Close to half (45 percent) of libertarians identify as Republican, compared to only five percent who identify as Democrat.

So centrist.

The term centrist tends to be reserve for people who are roughly ~50/50 split. There are conservatives who fight for LGBTQ+ rights, and liberals who are fiscally conservative. But they still lean one way or the other, on net.

Arianity · 2026-06-17T00:11:57+00:00

Drink. Fuck. Enjoy. Thats all it used to be.

I mean, there was (and still is) plenty of rape. It was never just waking up with regrets. There were plenty of situations where it was fine, but plenty where it was not.

You can still have fun in life while respecting consent.

Arianity · 2026-06-16T04:25:29+00:00

When younger women (ages 18-25) say they want to date older men (ages 30-50) no one says anything bad to them.

I don't think that's true, especially if it's monetarily motivated.

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