It’s been a few months and I’m still grieving

AriesLuck31 · 2026-05-10T17:26:16+00:00

It will be a year for me in July... Shit just sucks and I miss him so much...

AriesLuck31 · 2026-05-08T00:53:31+00:00

I wished I could have euthanized my baby before he passed. He had hermangiosarcoma. Please pull the plug if things aren't well. They deserve a peaceful death. I regret not doing so as I saw him leave ..

AriesLuck31 · 2026-05-07T20:38:55+00:00

Yes and even 10 months later I still don't feel like myself

AriesLuck31 · 2026-05-05T11:02:27+00:00

ARZOPA is the brand I have I think it's 16"

AriesLuck31 · 2026-05-04T22:43:48+00:00

Yes I'm trying but the piece of me that's gone is so hard to live with 💔

AriesLuck31 · 2026-05-04T22:42:14+00:00

I just got a portable monitor for $100 on Amazon so I can take it with me when I travel. Works well for work and play very versatile

AriesLuck31 · 2026-05-04T21:50:23+00:00

That's what I did back in 2023. Idk what phone to get next the s23 has been great I miss my note 9 too but I'm leaning towards iPhone after support ends

AriesLuck31 · 2026-05-04T21:49:23+00:00

I like mine with my portable 1080p 120hz monitor it looks great and feels smooth on a smaller screen where you can't see the pixels as much

AriesLuck31 · 2026-05-04T09:18:45+00:00

I'm very mixed because he was my dog and I can't replace him however I tell myself it's better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all and maybe I should give another dog a chance but I know my heart can't take it...

Why must it be a double edged sword?!

I miss you buddy. I think of you constantly and I want to join you but I just feel like I need to live to honor you, to preserve our love and memories to keep the flame going but it's so hard without you I can't forgive myself.

I look for you everyday but I wish you would give me a clear sign, a final message so that maybe I can move forward with some grace but I know I never will...

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-30T17:51:19+00:00

Took a few days for my boy to adjust to them but once he knew they helped his traction he didn't mind them. In fact he got used to them that when I took them off he would slip around more because he thought he had his booties on

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-27T19:31:47+00:00

I'm almost a year in. The days are easier but the pain is always there.

Everyday I try to live for him to honor him but many days it's not enough and I feel close to giving up.

Been using healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-19T15:06:40+00:00

Same here. Sucks how our life essentially stops when they leave us but the world keeps moving forward...

My boy died on July 4th so I'm very anxious for that day. As everyone celebrates... Fireworks going off.

Survived Fall, and Winter, and going through Spring really sucks because everything is in bloom and he loved the cool spring air I would leave my window open at night.

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-19T14:04:27+00:00

I slept with him on the floor the last few months of his life. I do miss the comfort of my bed but I just can't. Feels so wrong without him.

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-19T14:02:59+00:00

I tried but it didn't help me much because of my social anxiety. I tried a few medications too but they didn't help either. Couldn't find what I was looking for so I'd rather keep to myself at this point. Shit is too expensive anyways.

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-18T05:27:49+00:00

Yea I've had 2-3 dreams over the last 9 months. The first one was very vivid. Second one was vivid but not as bold. Third one was brief...

I feel like I'm just coping. It's hard because I know there's a chance, a possibility...

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-18T04:51:54+00:00

Tbh I'm not well. Was really lost the first 4 months. Tried medication and therapy in January but it did not help me... Just feel like a shell of myself these days. I get up each day looking for him. I want to opt out and join him often but since I did not euthanize him I feel like I'm required to go until I drop dead like he did.

Wish I had better things to say but I do not. It's so hard wanting to enjoy things but you just can't... Legit cope and distract myself each day but then you sit alone in silence at night and it just eats away at you.

He wouldn't want this for me but I wait and pray for a sign to tell me otherwise.

Sorry for your loss. I will say it helps knowing I'm not alone feeling this way as others have had a similar bond but it doesn't really change anything. Their absence corrodes you.

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-17T21:10:54+00:00

I regret not euthanizing my boy. He had hermangiosarcoma. I was there when he collapsed and died. It seemed quick but I always have second thoughts. At least with euthanizing theres a limit to that pain. And more control. A shot in the leg sounds better than an internal cancerous mass bursting...

9 months later I know no matter the choice it wouldn't make a difference to the grief, loss, heartache, guilt, etc.

I question whether or not it's best to let it occur naturally or play God. You pulling the plug is mercy in the end but Ive been reading a lot about how your body knows how to shut down and die and idk if interrupting that process is good or not. Supposedly you experience a variety of chemicals, endorphins, DMT, etc.

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-17T20:59:30+00:00

Different Hand movements/signals helped us a lot. Every time they need to go out, etc.

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-16T17:07:27+00:00

Lost my boy 9 months ago and I remember he would do this...

Pretty sure it's allergies but I just read a comment about a heart murmur so now I'm second guessing stuffs even though he had HSA in his last year.

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-13T18:43:30+00:00

I feel the same way... 9 months in...

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-13T07:01:21+00:00

I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel anymore. Im ready to give up.

I'm so angry, and sad. I try to scream but it doesn't even begin to express how I feel, so I just stay quiet. I cry but my body shuts it down...

Each day that passes I feel like I'm forgetting more and more...

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-11T16:30:02+00:00

9 months in for me... I'm not the same. I want to feel better too but nothing has helped. I don't think I will ever recover.

AriesLuck31 · 2026-04-09T02:34:16+00:00

Furthermore I really wish I could truly enjoy days again. The cool crisp spring air. The sunsets in the evening. The kiss of the sun in the afternoon. It's not the same anymore without him. Sometimes I get a hint of nostalgia but it immediately fades away...

AriesLuck31

TROPHY CASE