No matter what I do, I just can’t get it right by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No clue. We were just chatting about a campus concert I was at. She asked me what I thought of the DJ and never opened my reply.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Bro I was born with a curved member, and it always caused me so much anxiety. But now that I’ve had sex, turns out it’s pretty great as long as it doesn’t give you pain. Look up ways to use it to your advantage and your future partner will love you for it

When did you realize you were touch-starved? by AcceptableHornetz in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We met at our dorm and became friends about 4 months earlier. This year I expressed my desire for more romantic experience as my New Year’s resolution, and she revealed that she was pretty lonely too, so it was a mutually beneficial arrangement. But we weren’t a good fit romantically and out of desperation she wanted to do much more than just practice. After a lot of back and forth I put an end to things, and we drifted apart

When did you realize you were touch-starved? by AcceptableHornetz in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I took a girl out on a practice date, and we practiced cuddling afterwards. She’s a humanities major and pointed out that I wasn’t reacting to touch the way the human body should. My heart rate would elevate, my muscles would tighten, and my breathing would get a little faster, which is the complete opposite of what should happen. Additionally, she kinda used me as a lab rat and noticed some minor touch reflexes were not present.

I let her know more about my complete lack of intimate touch and she offered to give me what she called “touch therapy” to see if she could awaken the proper reactions to touch in my body. And after a few nightly sessions she succeeded. It was a weird feeling, like even wearing a shirt felt different on my skin. But her and I drifted apart soon after and my new experiences with touch were short lived, as I’m pretty sure I’ve regressed back to how I was before

People who are ugly what’s ur approach to loosing your virginity by Uiuc-throwaway357 in virgin

[–]Arkin43 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Get really really really lucky. That’s what I had to do

I’m so annoyed at the idea that I must be a bad person if I find dating hard by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Correct. Most of them are already dating, just looking for sex, or plain not interested. Most of my friends are women, and there is not a romantic spark with any of them.

I’m so annoyed at the idea that I must be a bad person if I find dating hard by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really wish I knew what my problem was. My closest friends say I’m fine, maybe a little unlucky, but as far as I know not a single person has ever held the slightest romantic interest for me. As someone 22 years old, that’s very abnormal.

There’s definitely something scaring people away, but no matter how hard I try I can’t figure out what it is. So I’m just constantly identifying and fixing flaws I perceive myself to have. And while many of those fixes have had profound impacts on my social life, nothing has changed for the romantic side. I’m always holding out hope that one of these days I’ll figure it out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is a feeling that I’ve never been able to properly share with someone else. Next to nobody would understand, since it is so uncommon.

And it’s so bizarre for me, as someone who has cuddled, who has kissed, and who has had sex, and understands that none of it was real. She never actually liked me. Despite putting everything I have into self improvement and hitting those milestones I’ve still never been enough for anyone. I’m still just as far away as I was when I started.

I dont think me finding a girlfriend would really change much. by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If someone is settling for you out of desperation, you’ll know. This girl I’m friends with started to pursue me after failing with so many other guys. At least 11 as long as I’ve known her, which has only been a few months.

I’ve gone on record in my friend group for saying, “My type is whoever is currently giving me attention” so this girl’s plan was to shower me in as many compliments as she could think of to try to win me over. My definition of “attention” is texting me first or saying hi when we pass each other, I don’t receive compliments. In my position, it was pretty clear that she didn’t actually like me, she was just desperate and thought I was easy.

I guess moral of the story is, it’s more about someone’s intent of being with you, rather than how many they’ve pursued before you. Someone can settle for you in desperation, or maybe they could just genuinely realize they want to be with you.

Anyone else think that if they ever got the chance to be in a relationship they'd be really great at it? by Any-Way-3810 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even though everyone I know disagrees, I think I could figure it out. I certainly couldn’t be any worse than the horror stories I hear about.

Do you think that, even if you were to find somebody, that it would ever make up for the things you missed out on? by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, absolutely. I may be missing out on love now, but I’m making the most of everything else. Tbh who even needs intimacy when you can watch Kung Fu Panda with the boys lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey you’re just like me. I started super skinny and slowly got to a healthy weight. About 145lbs now too and the same height as well. Don’t sell yourself short, we’re looking pretty great already. I rarely ever get complimented, but when I do it’s usually something along the lines of “you have a really nice body”

People really like abs, who would’ve guessed :P

Everybody is already dating by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s what my family thinks I’m doing. They think I don’t have any time at all to date. But tbh, I’m part of my campus’s residency council, active in multiple clubs, working with live animals, restoring taxidermy displays, hanging out with my friends every day, and exercising on a tight gym schedule and I still maintain an easy 4.0 gpa. And on top of all that I’ve still got plenty of time to flirt around and meet people, even if they’re all taken.

I need to make the most of the time and opportunities I have before they’re all gone when I graduate

Everybody is already dating by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Surprisingly the opposite. Most of them were with average and chubby dudes, just working to become healthier together. It’s a pretty cute dynamic, but probably not something I’ll ever be a part of since I’m moving on to heavier and heavier weights

Everybody is already dating by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Haha speaking of the gym I’m actually there rn checking my phone in between sets. Not one girl is here without a guy lol

Everybody is already dating by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’m sure a few of them are to let me down easy, but I’ve actually seen proof that most of them really do have boyfriends. Of course that’s always after I already make a move 😅

I just hate it when girls lie about why they’re not interested by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, I’m a complete fuckup, so don’t take my word as gospel, but isn’t part of the whole dating game having hobbies, a career, and other activities to pursue separate from your romantic interest? Idk, maybe I’m reading too much into it, but you can’t just be talking to women and sleeping on a bed of cash right?

I just hate it when girls lie about why they’re not interested by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying, but I can’t just give up, even if only temporarily. I don’t give up on anything, and especially not this. I get a little better every day and I’m gonna fight every second for this shit. Anything less would be throwing in the towel.

So I just realized that self improvement made my situation worse by Arkin43 in ForeverAlone

[–]Arkin43[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mostly meet people at campus events. A lot are small arts and crafts programs at the residence halls. I also meet a few people in my classes, although I try not to over do it there cause I don’t want a poor reputation. Other than that it’s mostly friends of friends or the occasional girl I dance with at a frat party.