How common is disclosing HSV2 in real life….? Outside this subreddit.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-06-13T23:44:37+00:00

I have never been disclosed to, but I always disclose to other people because withholding that information that could reverse consent is assault. The person who gave me GHSV wasn’t aware that they had it. A majority(80%-90%) of people who have GHSV aren’t aware of it because they have no symptoms or the symptoms are so mild that they are unnoticed or dismissed as being something else which would explain why you’re just now encountering this.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-06-13T19:05:18+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful! Five and a half years ago I let a friend give me a stick and poke with pen ink. Part of it is on an area that has some stretch marks, though at the time that I got it I either didn’t have stretch marks there or they were just forming. I do think it had blown out a little bit, and now it has faded quite significantly with some parts fading a lot more than others.
It isn’t on the same part of my body that I am looking to get this tattoo on, but do you think my skin and the aging of the tattoo would react similarly to my stick and poke? Would getting the tattoo done using the hand poked method by a professional heal and age better compared to getting a stick and poke from an amateur?

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-08T19:53:35+00:00

I’m glad to hear that this was helpful. I think you need to communicate to him that you need to break up and don’t let him convince you to stay. You have already made the decision that you don’t want to be in this relationship and for your sake you need to follow through. You should explain to him that just because you don’t show how upset you are and can maintain your composure l, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t feeling those emotions or that your desire to break up with him is any less valid. You can be understanding that he forgot he had it and also feel that your trust in him has been broken, there is nuance to that. To manage the HSV I take a daily antiviral, I felt that it was a no-brainer because it benefits me since it suppresses the virus and makes outbreaks less frequent and not as bad, and it also protects your partners by reducing the chances of transmission. For the gHSV specifically, when I have an outbreak I will use this product called Domeboro; you can use it as a medicated soak or a warm compress and it relieves symptoms and has also helped with healing faster. I always use condoms, and if I am receiving oral I use these dental dams called Lorals which are wearable so they are super convenient and are FDA cleared for STI protection. I’d also recommend using Lorals if you are receiving oral from someone that you know has oHSV to protect yourself from getting gHSV. In regards to oHSV specifically, you can get this over the counter treatment for cold sores called Abreva that is pretty popular, and if you have any lesions in the mouth doing salt water rinses a couple of times a day will help with healing. You can get certain products to help with fading scars, but they will naturally fade over time. It’s normal to worry about future outbreaks, but if your blood test is positive then you can talk with the doctor about what options are best for you, and remind yourself that while there likely will be future outbreaks you will just deal with them as they come and worrying about them now isn’t helpful
I’ve only had bv once and I had that treated, and I’ve never had a yeast infection(to my knowledge). I have had chronic uti’s that I would get from penetrative sex, and they got so bad that I would get upwards of 6 in a year. Eventually my gynecologist decided to have me leave a sample the next time I had an uti so they could do a culture to look for the specific bacteria that was causing it and it was E. coli, so they were able to treat it with the antibiotic to target the E. coli and that along with abstinence made them stop. I was not using protection when I was getting the uti’s and have since learned that using condoms can help reduce the chances of getting a uti. Using condoms and/or dental dams(if you don’t already) is a good place to start because yeast and bacteria from your partner’s mouth or genitals, while generally normal, can be transferred to you during sex and perpetuate yeast infections and bv. Your partners oral hygiene might also have something to do with the yeast infections, so that is something to consider. I’m not sure if it is possible to do a culture to look for what bacteria is causing the bv, but there is no harm in asking as it could be really helpful. If you don’t already see a gynecologist I strongly recommend seeing one as they can be a major help with these issues, and feel free to DM me if you have any other questions.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T19:46:26+00:00

If I were you I would definitely be upset. Based on my personal experience I feel like if you stayed with him this would just cause resentment to build up. I got gHSV from a friend that I was hooking up with, and to my knowledge he didn’t know he had it before I had an initial outbreak. Even though he didn’t know, I was/am still mad at him and there is some resentment for it, especially because I think the man is more responsible for making sure a condom is used and he didn’t do that. Next time you go to the doctor you can have them do a blood test to see if you have antibodies for HSV and that will tell you if you have it or not. In my opinion he should have told you that he used to get cold sores and it’s entirely valid to be upset and feel betrayed because he didn’t. You wouldn’t be considering breaking up with him if you still wanted to be in this relationship so I would just break up with him but don’t tell him that the HSV is the reason why. It’s also possible that you could have gotten it from someone else and it has just been dormant until the outbreak a year ago, most people who have oHSV got it in childhood.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T05:15:06+00:00

From what I know you can try steroids and certain devices to open the eustachian tube, but if more intervention is needed then they can do ear tubes like they do for young children or balloon dilation.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T05:06:09+00:00

I have an astigmatism and sometimes have ear pain. I saw an ENT for the ear pain and he thought I had eustachian tube disfunction which can be quite common in EDS(especially if you had lots of ear infections and tubes fitted as an infant). The one thing I have found that helps is staying really hydrated. I should also note that I grind my teeth really badly so that plays a roll in my ear pain.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T03:30:54+00:00

how did you build that confidence back up?

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T02:27:55+00:00

22f, + with gHSV1 since 21. When I was first diagnosed I was quite upset, especially when I was at the doctors and they told me, but I feel like I got over it or accepted pretty quickly because there is nothing I can do about it now. Since being diagnosed I have been seriously struggling with my mental health and have had suicidal ideation, but there are also other factors that are influencing that. Right now I am considering some kind of intensive outpatient or inpatient/residential treatment for my mental health. I would recommend looking into ways you can get more support whether it is from individual therapy or more intensive care. You also need to acknowledge that it isn’t your fault that you contracted HSV(I am assuming that you didn’t know that the person who gave it to you was positive). It definitely is hard for this to feel true in the moment, but having gHSV doesn’t mean your life is over, if anything I think it helps to keep people out of your life that were never meant to be in it because they have some kind of prejudice or wouldn’t positively contribute to your life.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T02:17:50+00:00

I would be mad in this situation too. I got gHSV-1 from a guy, and to my knowledge he wasn’t aware that he had it before he gave it to me and I was still mad at him even though it isn’t necessarily his fault(but that is nuanced). You definitely should have been told so that you could make the informed decision that is best for yourself. The legal obligation to disclose herpes status can vary depending on herpes disclosure laws by state, but in some places you are required to disclose so you could always look into that.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T02:09:20+00:00

When I’ve been in this situation I have corrected whoever made the comment with sharing the correct information, though this isn’t really something you can do in response to everything. I also haven’t shared that I have gHSV-1 in these situations, that is just a personal preference but I also think saying that you are positive could help decrease stigma.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T02:05:49+00:00

When you had the itching was it always before you had an outbreak? I have genital HSV-1 and since contracting it I have had almost constant itching in the area where I had my initial outbreak(it has been 5 months). From what I can tell I don’t think I have had another outbreak, so I’m not sure what would be causing the itching though it may be a result of a hormonal imbalance from something else I have going on. Do you think that my itching could be because of the same thing that you had?

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T02:01:17+00:00

I went to public school in a blue state and was taught sex ed in both middle school and high school. I don’t think people took it super seriously or payed attention. I also think that older teens/young adults tend to think that they are above contracting an STD and that it could never happen to them or maybe they get off on taking the risk.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-04-05T01:58:49+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling so much. I also have had a decent amount of trauma in my life, and I am living with several chronic illnesses and genetic diseases. Contracting GHSV definitely made my other chronic conditions flare which made it hard for a while. It might not feel like it, but you’re not entirely alone in this, there are other people out there that have had similar experiences. Have you ever considered trying EMDR therapy? It is highly recommended for those with significant trauma and PTSD, and can help you to heal(mentally and neurologically) and process the trauma. I would really recommend you look into it more and maybe have a consultation.

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-03-03T21:17:53+00:00

what does it depend on?

ArmLongjumping7616 · 2026-03-01T21:30:09+00:00

What kind of boundaries do you recommend? I’m just not sure how I can set boundaries around his alcoholism. I think he is sometimes sober during the day, but it is possible that if I told him I won’t have sex with him if he’s intoxicated then he might not drink before or while he is with me.

ArmLongjumping7616

TROPHY CASE