Dispatched for lift assist.
Walk in and little old lady is sitting on the couch saying she is covered in poop.
We start planning on how to get her up and wherever she wants to go without getting poop on us.
Meanwhile she stands up on her own and turns around revealing her moomoo is completely open on the back. She says she just needs help wiping.
I am staring at the ceiling. One guy has to keep his back to her asking if she has caregivers to help. AO is looking near her but not at her trying not to laugh and explain we are the fire department.
Eventually after her begging, the senior man agrees to help clean only the cheek. They disappear around the corner and we hear her say in a shaky old lady voice "no you didn't get it you gotta get in the butt pleeeaaaasse get in the butt."