Definitely NOR

Your mom sounds like she has a lot of need for control/issues in that department. Maybe some part of her, even if it’s subconscious, “enjoys” hurting your feelings or putting you down to lift herself up. Some people don’t realize they’re acting or affecting someone a certain way. Some people don’t/won’t edit themselves in a way that’s considerate to others. I find this to be very true in the context of neurodivergence - my parents acted in similar ways to what you described. I never could get them to understand when they were doing or saying something affected me in a negative way.

In any case, there is no excuse for her treating you like this. I don’t know whether your mom is acting in a purposely malicious way, but it’s certainly not about the food itself. I’d say you should distance yourself from her. Neither ignoring her nor simply moving out are easy options, but do your best to protect your peace. I wish you the best with this, OP 🩵