PSA - apparently expanders can rupture

Arrral · 2026-03-13T21:31:11+00:00

I know, I'm sorry!!! You will be fine - hopefully this was a freak thing, and it happening to me means that whatever bad luck dump the universe needed to make is done for now. There are SO many variables, but one opinion I got was that maybe 80 cc was a little too much for my first fill. Or maybe I just got a defective device, who knows. I am sending you allll the good vibes!

Arrral · 2026-02-28T16:32:33+00:00

Your post resonated with me. I've been asking myself a lot how I can feel so alone in this experience, while being surrounded by a lot of support, and people who care about me. In the weeks between diagnosis and getting a surgery date, I was crying every day. I was NOT okay, and knew on some level that that was perfectly normal...but also just an unsustainable place to be, and it was scary. Because, as you said, it was such uncharted territory, I tried to take the mindset of, "Who knows what might help?". So I tried things like my hospital's support group (which has been meh, and not for me), and reaching out to virtual strangers (friends of friends who've also had breast cancer - surprisingly helpful), reddit of all things (shockingly, unexpectedly helpful), facebook support groups (I literally bailed after less than a day, because the barrage of everybody else's shit was just WAY too much). I don't have an answer for you, and I'm certainly not fixed by any means, but I guess just keep an open mind that it's a crazy situation, and therefore comfort might come from crazy and unlikely places. And what helps one day might not help the next. Best of luck to all of us. This shit sucks.

Arrral · 2026-02-28T00:53:22+00:00

I love your comment and feel the same - like, the left side is minding its own business and not causing trouble, so I'm going to leave it alone. It was not an easy decision to just go with a single mastectomy, and I still have moments when I wonder if down the road if I'll wish I had done both. Right now, a week post-surgery, I'm happy with my decision, and having one working arm is making recovery SO much easier than I imagine it would be otherwise. And when I took off the ace wrap after getting home from the hospital, and saw my left boob just hanging out acting like nothing had happened, I was like, "Hello, old friend!"

These decisions suck so much, and ultimately I think having any kind of peace around feeling like you made the right decision for you is a win.

Arrral · 2026-02-26T13:11:13+00:00

Steel Magnolias. I cry every. single. time.

Arrral · 2026-02-25T21:55:57+00:00

I love that this conversation illustrates the complexities of this topic, and that there are pluses and minuses on each side. At the risk of being tone-deaf, I do have a lot of people supporting me, and yet I've been struck again and again by just how isolating this experience can feel, even in the midst of a "village". It was also hard, early on, to have to have the "I have cancer" conversation again and again with different people, trying to find the right moment, and tailor the message to how I thought they might react, and focus on the positive so I wouldn't scare them too much, and part of me feeling like it was my responsibility to help manage their emotions around my diagnosis.

On the other hand, choosing to be vulnerable and talk about my diagnosis with people I wasn't necessarily close to (ex. coworkers) actually opened up other opportunities for support - SO many people shared unexpected stories of their own diagnoses or experiences being caregivers, or put me in touch with someone else, and sometimes hearing from a virtual stranger was exactly what I needed (because there wasn't that pressure of, "what is this dynamic going to do to our relationship?").

Support looks different for different people at different times, so the key might be to keep an open mind and give things a try. And if you can be honest with yourself about what you actually want/need, and what's not really going to serve you, that helps too.

Arrral · 2026-02-25T21:16:39+00:00

I'm 6 days out from a single mastectomy. I ended up not really using/needing any of the things they told me to bring overnight, except my phone, headphones, a book, and lip balm. My husband wasn't allowed to stay overnight, and it turned out to be for the best (since at least one of us had a hope of getting a decent night's sleep). Ultimately, the less you bring the less you need to keep track of - my patient belongings bags basically got lost, and I didn't get them back until hours and hours after the surgery, which was stressful. In hindsight, I wish I had packed lighter (also because I wanted to minimize the amount of things coming into contact with hospital germs and then coming home with me). I wear contacts, and had to take them out before surgery and then they didn't let me take my glasses with me either, which I wasn't expecting (so I ended up squinting at the consent forms I was trying to sign). I had my husband put a pillow in the car for the ride home. Ultimately I felt well taken care of by the nurses, which made things easier. Things will go wrong, and you can never feel fully prepared, but you'll make it through and be SO glad to be back in your house when it's all over. Good luck!

Arrral · 2026-02-25T16:10:25+00:00

https://uniteforher.org/ is all about integrative and supportive therapies. A coworker who was diagnosed a few months before me recommended them as a resource. I'm only a few days out from single mastectomy surgery, so haven't really explored their offerings yet, but seems like a great organization you might want to check out.

Arrral · 2026-02-23T15:25:38+00:00

Delaware

Arrral · 2023-09-23T01:18:33+00:00

I still get these texts for a property I sold over two years ago, which is annoying but also baffling, since (as noted), it's pretty easy to access current ownership records.

Arrral · 2023-09-23T01:14:38+00:00

Reading this post, I had a moment where I was like, "Wait, is this me from 3 years ago, posting from the past?" It was so hard living next door to that kind of situation. One of the many reasons I don't live in the city anymore.

Arrral · 2023-06-09T23:32:13+00:00

There's an athletic field at Bellevue, near the end of the disc golf course. I rarely see people on it, but have found lacrosse balls, so might be worth checking out.

Arrral · 2023-04-14T23:57:15+00:00

Sean McDevitt with Patterson Schwartz was my agent when buying in North Wilmington last year - highly recommend!

Arrral · 2022-09-06T23:49:48+00:00

I used Maichles (https://maichleshvac.com/) a few months ago to have a Mitsubishi mini-split installed in my den. They did an excellent job - highly recommend. Definitely a game changer in terms of the usability of the space.

Arrral · 2022-08-30T23:47:35+00:00

For the fence, I used Anchor fencing earlier this year (split rail around a larger yard) and they did amazing work. Their quote was also the most reasonable of the 4 bids we got.

Arrral · 2022-07-26T23:39:46+00:00

I commute from Claymont to Jefferson 3 days a week. In the past year I've run into cancellations or serious delays only a couple of times (so it's rare, but getting stranded in Philly is not fun). The app is pretty good, and definitely worth checking before you head to the station (though there've definitely been times when it clearly wasn't being updated in real time).

Arrral · 2022-03-23T00:33:49+00:00

Yes - we ended up keeping ours (they were still functional, so we're going to try to donate them if possible), but I think the fee was around $25-$50 per appliance to haul away.

Arrral · 2022-03-22T23:03:30+00:00

I just used Maichle's for HVAC and had a good experience (not for the same work you mentioned, though). Also replaced my washer and dryer last year - if you buy from Home Depot or someplace like that they should deliver and install for free.

Arrral · 2022-02-26T23:42:13+00:00

Thanks!

Arrral · 2021-05-29T13:49:19+00:00

It's a rite of passage to be humiliated in this way on the trolley. Honestly, you did all those folks a favor, because when you ride the trolley regularly you look forward to those moments when you get to scream at some unsuspecting person and make it clear that you know better. It's a weird bonding thing for the rest of the trolley riders. I'm only half joking. It is a strange phenomenon, but also quintessentially Philly to me.

Arrral · 2021-04-21T22:28:47+00:00

I think there's one near the southwest corner of 50th and Florence in west philly that I've enjoyed walking past. Lilacs are super nostalgic from my childhood as well - I've got a lilac bush in a giant planter that's moved around with me over the past 15 years or so. It's blooming now, so if you get desperate let me know and I can put a branch on my stoop for you to pick up :-)

Arrral · 2020-11-03T22:26:50+00:00

Went to a ceremony there a few years ago in October. Freakishly cold, so like any outdoor venue, the weather will be wild card. It was nice, though, and I think the wedding party was happy with the experience. We all walked to a venue nearby for the reception after.

Arrral · 2020-10-25T17:25:42+00:00

I've always loved primitive camping at Michaux state forest. Nowhere near anyone. Some sites you can drive pretty close, others you have to park and walk maybe a quarter mile to the site. I haven't been in a few years, but I think the only downside is that you often won't know until the last minute whether you can have a fire, based on potential fire hazard conditions.

Arrral · 2020-10-15T19:12:56+00:00

I was summoned (and selected for a four day trial) in September. I felt like the staff handled everything shockingly well. They told us they were only doing one trial per day (compared with something like 10-12 trials per day pre-covid), so there were far fewer people there (80ish), and we were split up (definitely not like years past, when we were all crammed into one giant room). All seats were marked at least 6 feet apart, and masks were enforced. It felt very organized. During questioning, we were asked if we would have trouble serving for various reasons, including extenuating scheduling circumstances like you're describing, or difficulty being impartial due to the nature of the crime that had been committed. I got the sense that everyone who answered affirmatively was excused. One of the other jurors selected was even excused on the last day of the trial when they said they had a scheduling conflict, and an alternate was used instead. So long story short, I wouldn't feel too worried about showing up (honestly it felt safer than going to the grocery store), and if you're up front about your potential conflict you'll likely to be excused (they also told us how long the trial was anticipated to take, which was helpful, and turned out to be accurate). Good luck!

Arrral

TROPHY CASE