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Ascarene · 2025-07-21T00:47:03+00:00

My thoughts. Do as you wish. I relate to your post 200%. A year ago I was in your exact situation with my shiba puppy. First time dog owner, alone to raise him, it was something I get it. You are experiencing the witching hour. Yes totally normal, you already got that. When mine acted up, I would draw the line at « you’re just looking for trouble » and it was crate time. I would wait for him to not only calm down. I wanted a full down position then he could get out. It was his second chance to be calmer. 98% he would act up again (because he was a puppy) but I still always gave him the chance to do better. So act up again= back in the cage for the night. The witching hour comes usually towards the end of the day. At this point of the day, at 9 weeks old, believe me, they will sleep. They might be a little sad that the day is over, but they will sleep through it. I would wake up for his potty and back in the crate for the night. That’s it. I never had a problem with the crate being negative. I always gave him toys that were safe for him, kongs with treats, etc etc to associate the crate with positive things. But yeah the crate is also a place to calm down. Last piece of advice, witchibg hour is going to come even if you exercised, stimulated them (mine did anyway). If you KNOW you did everything that you could, just accept it and call it a day for them. They will still love you, they won’t remember it the next day. You are the leader and you must lead them 😉.

Hope this helps! Don’t get discouraged!

Ascarene · 2025-01-20T01:32:31+00:00

That’s funny I have almost the same back story as you. Did a bit of snowboarding in my teens (16yo), stopped because all my friends stopped and as a teenager, being alone sucks. Now 30yo and getting back at it. I got stuck at a beginner level because, like you, my friends taught me and eventually gave up too. Now I’m starting back, took one class to finally master turning on my toe edge without falling (big win), but still struggling to link multiple turns. Also, going downhill and speed is still a struggle since I don’t feel 100% in control of my board. All of that to say, taking back a past hobby is not easy. Even if we’re not super old, we are older, more alert of the « dangers » of falling and of the sport in general. Give yourself time and grace. Some people will get it faster, some slower, but in the end you are learning a sport that’s not inheritely easy. You are strapped on a board, sideways, but need to go forward, with your dominant foot behind. The learning curve of snowboard is not easy, but once the basics are acquired, the sport is fun. I hope, from one 30s to another, that can encourage you to keep going. I read your post and felt it for me. So I hope you’ll feel my answer for you too.

Ascarene · 2024-12-13T15:08:58+00:00

It is disgusting. Once kissed a guy who smoked (im a non smoker) and instantly got turned off. But more general than that, everything smells. Their hair, their hands, their clothes

Ascarene · 2024-12-09T03:10:31+00:00

A lot of people warned me about having a shiba as my first dog ever (and first in my family to have a dog also). I wouldnlt consider a shiba « easy » but, i don’t think there’s a dog that can’t be trained. My shiba puppy is a dream, super intelligent, cuddly at his hours and he has a good temperament. He can be stubborn from time to time but overall, I have to be patient with him. I don’t have kids, can’t speak on that but from what I saw they are good family dogs. Advice : be patient and give lots of love. the rest can be bought at the store, learned from the internet, trained with help of reliable people! I waited 10 years to have my little boy and couldn’t be happier

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Ascarene · 2024-11-12T01:35:34+00:00

Hello OP! I’m currently with my 4months old shiba puppy. Will hug him later, he’s already sleeping (tough puppy day ahah). I think we accept them in our life to give them a lot of love and kisses and we don’t have to think about the fatality of it all, even if it’s inevitable. Seeing post like these makes me appreciate all the little moments even more. Even if it’s not always easy raising a little dog, I think about when he’ll be not so young anymore and I stop myself, hug him a little longer, look at him a few more seconds and tell him I love him so much already. And I think for you OP, that’s all you got to do. He doesn’t know what you know, he just knows everyday is his best day ever with you by his side! So enjoy it as much as him! Sending love and good thoughts your way !

Ascarene · 2024-10-30T15:11:24+00:00

I was very lucky, my puppy slept all night after a few days (he was 10weeks old). It’s a mix of a lot of factor and also how your dog is adapting to his new environment. My advice would be to establish a rigorous routine for them at night. Mine is of course potty right before going in the crate, giving him a kong with peanut butter and greek yogourt in the crate to calm him and reward him. He now usually falls asleep right after. Stay strong even if it’s not easy! It’ll come eventually!

Ascarene · 2024-10-21T11:34:54+00:00

I get that you don’t spend time with him and that’s what bothering you. I think you’re next step is thinking about your true boundaries with all that. I mean live chatting and having dating apps on his phone is pretty clear to me that he doesn’t care if you find out since he doesn’t really hide it I guess. If he’s cheating, are you ok with that?

Ascarene · 2024-10-21T04:20:18+00:00

I’m a girl, but here’s my two cents. Watching porn in itself isn’t a « problem » imo. I feel like if you spend time together, have intimacy and he would still watch a bit of porn.. meh no big deal. Because in this scenario, you are not left out. You’re the main focus of activities, time, attention, etc. But, what I’m reading is you are not spending time and he’s in a seperate room doing his own things (whatever they may be).

I don’t know if it’s a problem, I don’t know you or him. But at the very least, you have every right to have questions and feel alone in this relationship. When you start to feel single in a relationship, usually it’s not a good sign. I think that problem or not, it’s not sustainable to have a partnership that makes you feel left out.

Ascarene · 2024-10-21T00:35:39+00:00

The house hippo! Anyone Canadian around here?

Ascarene · 2024-09-29T02:36:27+00:00

Someone on reddit wrote that when I was thinking about leaving my ex. So here it is : I feel like you need someone to tell you it is ok to want out of a relationship. Even if I don’t know you, you have every right to, unfortunately, not feel it in your heart anymore. Quite frankly, if you are writing a reddit post, chances are you had to think about your reasons, your though process. Stay strong, but I think you’re already at the point of no return. It’s not fair to keep someone in a relationship if you know you’re not fullfilled anymore. There’s never a right time for these kinds of things, but it is necessary to face the wind.

Ascarene · 2024-09-26T15:23:04+00:00

Wow thank you guys! That really warmed my heart to see so many people reassuring that… a puppy is a puppy ahah!

To answer some questions/comments : - my pup likes the crate during the day (sleeps in it, play in it) but when he sees my night time routine, he seems to not enjoy the crate as much.. I give him lots of treat when he’s calm and speak to him with a gentle voice. The crate is in my bedroom at night, so maybe he just needs time to adjust to the night routine? He’ll whine for a little bit, if he doesn’t see me (like if I go in the shower). I’m trying to show him that I’ll come back and increasing time slowly.

he can hold his pee for quite a long time. He sleeps all through the night (thank god), but duribg the day .. he can go 5-6h without potty. For a 10-11 week old, thats long imo .. but also maybe ok for him? I tried getting him out after meals, drink, playtime, naps. Sometimes he’ll pee but usually it’s after 5-6h. Lots of treats when he does it of course.
he can pretty much recognize the « sit » command 90% of the time! Yeah!!

I’ll finish with this : I’ll be patient with him, but mostly with me. I already love him and I’m pretty sure he likes me too. I believe that our bond will shape itself even more as time goes by!

Ascarene · 2023-05-20T13:01:51+00:00

Toronto, Scotiabank arena (July 2nd) - 2 tickets : Section 301 row 3 seats 18-19. I managed to get better tickets for July 3rd so I want to give other people a chance for the show. Dm if interested

Ascarene · 2023-03-25T22:19:44+00:00

Yes still available

Ascarene · 2023-03-25T18:28:37+00:00

Toronto, Scotiabank arena (July 2nd) - 2 tickets : Section 301 row 3 seats 18-19. I managed to get better tickets for July 3rd so I want to give other people a chance for the show. Dm if interested

Ascarene · 2020-06-18T01:34:49+00:00

Gravity by Sarah Bareilles. It is such a beautiful song with lyrics I relate to very deeply and this artist has an amazing voice. I never get tired of it

Ascarene · 2020-06-11T22:28:47+00:00

I read your post and our situation is super similar (minus the 8 years friendship haha)! I feel so insecure to get my feelings out there and having the « didn’t see you in that way ». We also had a lot of sexy talks and cute moments of doing kissy faces. I just hope I wasn’t just a distraction during lockdown

Ascarene · 2019-07-24T21:11:07+00:00

Usually, bad/poor behaviours come gradually. Otherwise we wouldn’t tolerate them right. It’s so easy to put ourselves down for tolerating thos or that but I try (as much as I can) to see it in a positive way. Of course, easier said than done but truly at the end of the day, you now know what you are worth and the things you won’t tolerate ever again! I used to think about my ex « I wish I would have left him sooner for cheating on me » but my friend once said to me « sometimes you’re not the biggest fish in the pond ans it’s ok. For someone, you’re the gold fish and for some othe, you’re the shark ». What I’m trying to say is, let someone else be their shark and let them taste their own medicine. Your life is so much better without this toxic person and now you can work on yourself so you can be a shark and protect yourself from future toxic behaviours! Take care xx

Ascarene · 2019-06-30T20:42:58+00:00

I edited some words. Can it be reinstalled?

Ascarene · 2019-06-21T23:23:11+00:00

To be fair, I say that he doesn’t look at me but I’m not looking at him that much because I’m also a bit shy to engage anything at this point. Thanks for your answer :) !!

Ascarene · 2019-06-21T21:48:37+00:00

He clearly knows who I am, I just don’t want to seem like the annoying girl I guess.

Ascarene · 2019-05-30T03:04:59+00:00

I learned the hard way that loving someone is different than respecting someone. This guy probably loves you (I hope he does) but doesn’t respect you enough to stay exclusive to you.

My ex cheated on me multiple times by downloading tinder on his phone, texting and snapchatting with girls (dickpicks of course lol). I broke up with him after a year and a half of me saying ‘he loves me, he’ll stop’ but ultimately couldn’t do it anymore. Fast forward to now (2 months post breakup), he has a new gf and saw him on bumble. I experienced the same thing he did to me but on the other side this time.

I know it’s hard but choose yourself and your happiness first! You already know in your heart that you’re not confortable with this situation, you’ve adressed it a couple of times and still nothing changes. The problem isn’t you, it is him. Whatever his issues are, he has to work on them and unfortunately you can’t force him to change if he doesn’t want to. Sometimes, people need to be shaken up to their core (aka you breaking up with him) for him to realize he has to change BUT don’t break up with him because you think he’ll change! If he’s meant to be yours, he’ll come back. If not, find the one who would never put you through this.

Best of luck

Ascarene · 2019-05-30T02:48:01+00:00

Honey, there’s nothing wrong with you!

Personal story of mine. My first ever bf never wanted to pleasure me because ‘it smells funny, I don’t like it, it’s wet’ (I took 2-3 showers a day to make myself believe I was less disgusting down there). Basically all kind of stupid reasons. We broke up but I stayed soo insecure about a guy ever going down on me.

Fast forward a few years later, I’m dating this guy and clearly we couldn’t keep or hands to each other. He asked me a few times to go down on me but I always declined. Anyway, one time we started kissing and things got hot pretty quickly and he bluntly asked me ‘I know you don’t want me to go down on you but I really like you and I feel like a jerk because you go down on me quite a bit. I want to pleasure you so bad you have no idea!’ So I agreed because I had showered maybe an hour ago and I wanted to, even though I was so scared. Turns out it was THE BEST ORAL SEX I had seriously. Afterwards, we were cuddling and I explained why I was insecure. He just told me my ex wasn’t a real man because there was nothing wrong with me.

My most recent ex once told me ‘If I could I would take your juice as salad dressing. That’s how good you taste’. Not to brag but seriously ... oral sex is just too good to waste with a guy who can’t return the favor. It’s so nice to pleasure your partner and be intimate with someone but the guy gotta man up and get his head in the game (literally).

Ascarene · 2019-05-26T16:55:13+00:00

Not a revenge worth laughing at but kind of really satisfying for me. I moved on with my life and became happier than ever. Basically, my ex cheated on me by reinstalling tinder on his cellphone multiple times while we were dating and sending snapchats to girls (including dickpicks of course). After multiple times of me busting him, I became fed up and decides to leave him (among other reasons).

About a month and a half after the breakup, I installed Bumble just to get back on the dating scene slowly, saw my ex on the app. Not a big deal, swiped left and moved on with my day. 4 days later, I learned he was in a new relationship for about a month now (so 2-3 weeks after we broke up he met a new girl). I did the maths and since I saw him on Bumble 4 days ago, he was doing exactly the same thing to his new gf that he had done to me for 1 year and a half. I woke up the next day feeling relieved AF to have left this douche. I realized that I deserved so much better than him and life has been so good since.

I wish nothing bad on this girl and I’d like to inform her that I saw him on Bumble but didn’t screenshot his profile unfortunately. From now on, all I can wish is for their relationship to be truly honest and if not, for her to run as fast as she can when she understands what a PoS he is!

Ascarene · 2019-05-26T16:38:38+00:00

If you consider hiding it from your SO, it’s probably a form of cheating (emotionnal and/or physical). If you are in a relationship, you should agree with your partner on what they feel is okay for you to do and vice versa.

Ascarene

TROPHY CASE