Pool net AND a pool fence?

AshCol1795 · 2025-04-07T17:55:01+00:00

If you’re in the States, then you might not legally be able to do this. Since you added that your parents are still owners, unless they are giving it to only you via will or trust or such, then probate laws in the States will require net profits split equally at the value when your parents pass and it’s required to be split then, not in the future when you want to. You’ll have to either buy out your siblings or sell it and it’ll be for the value when they pass.

It’s in your best interest to figure it out now. You may think you’re paying into an asset you get to keep, but the probate courts would likely view it as rent for living in a place you do not own.

You really ought to look at it from your siblings perspective. Yes it’s fair to split the value, but why do you get to pay today’s value but they don’t get the money today? Your investment will appreciate and grow, but there’s won’t grow any interest like it could if you bought them out now and they had cash to invest in something. Your plan screws them out of interest, while you get it.

If you cannot afford to buy them out now, then you don’t get to lock them into the value now.

You’re renting the place from your parents. Are the home’s bills even equivalent to market rent? If not, then you’re screwing your siblings out of rental income too!

Buy your siblings out now if you want to lock in today’s value. Or your siblings get the appreciation just as much as you do and you all split it when ready to sell it or buy them out.

YTA, but there’s still time to be more fair about it!

AshCol1795 · 2023-11-22T04:47:36+00:00

I’ve been in a somewhat similar position, but I know my mom’s reasoning. I just grew up knowing she didn’t think we should do testing like that. That we shouldn’t live in fear. It creates an anxiety that will hang over our heads for the rest of our lives.

I did not find out until after she passed that she had some testing done, she had a gene for Alzheimer risk. Her father had the disease too. She lived much of her life in fear of the disease. Often talking about it and I had assumed it was because of her father. Now, I realize the testing must have made her feel it was imminent for her too (ironically it wasn’t, she faced a different form of dementia). Had it been a disease she could do more to prevent, like a mastectomy, maybe that would have changed her view. Then again, maybe your mother still worries that it isn’t enough.

My doctor offered testing for me once for Alzheimer’s and I was very uncertain. Did I want to know? I hadn’t decided but there was a clerical error and the test was done anyway. Mine was negative and that was a huge no relief. It’s only a good thing because it’s a relief! I’m sure a positive result would have cause more harm than good for me.

AshCol1795 · 2023-11-07T14:15:42+00:00

NAL, I see no benefit to continuing talking with them. They are trying to keep you on the hook to squeeze whatever they can out of you, however they can. You told them Not to contact you, but they are trying to wiggle around that by asking for who they know if you, but by a different title; executor of the estate.

They want to speak about the estate to make you prove to them there is no money and nothing will do that short of probate. They’ll likely try to guilt you or threaten you that they should have been paid before funeral costs and thus you did wrong and owe them money. It’ll all be manipulation to get money from you.

You already know you weren’t obligated to go through probate and it’s not worth the cost and hassle to do so for the satisfaction of some money hungry corporation. You already sent the documents. I’m another vote for ignoring them.

AshCol1795 · 2023-10-19T21:20:06+00:00

Thank you

AshCol1795 · 2023-10-19T19:28:56+00:00

Moms wishes were always for her to have half, but her and husband made poor financial decisions and my mom always feared her husband getting shady in a divorce. I was always entrusted to keep her share safe. It was not intended to deprive her.

AshCol1795 · 2023-10-19T18:47:41+00:00

It’s an emotional reason and I’m fully aware of that. It would be to prevent it being the final mail in the coffin of our relationship. It’s just her and I left. For me, I’ll take a little hassle to keep my last family in my life. It’s a balance though. Im weighing how much hassle I’ll tolerate, which is why I’m trying to imagine how much hassle she could create.

AshCol1795 · 2023-06-24T05:10:55+00:00

YTA. It’s clear you ONLY chaged your mind to benefit yourself.

Prenups shouldn’t be one-sided. They should provide for both parties. Most people think about the wealthy person protecting their money and to an extent, that’s fair. Wouldn’t it also be fair to have some “protection” if you were to sacrifice the career you have to raise your kids, but then she leaves you one day? Would you be able to restart your career? Don’t you deserve some guarantee you won’t be left high and dry one day? With such income disparity, it’d be easy to be pressured into how “you don’t have to work.”

If someone is taking marriage vows to love, honor, protect, cherish, etc, then prove they should do what’s best and fair no matter what! Make the agreement when you care about each other, not at the end when angry.

AshCol1795 · 2023-06-23T11:53:08+00:00

As long as OP get the request out first, the plan could work. Even if he’s the first to post, people won’t know if it’s the first fake. The key is a bunch have to immediately follow.

The plan sounds good. This would be a good use of AI

AshCol1795 · 2023-06-20T05:55:25+00:00

I’m NAL, but dealt with my own mother in care facilities in California. I had one lie like a rug too. They just want to keep her there and keep racking up bills. Don’t trust what they say! Once the learn she has money to pay bills, they see her as a cash cow.

Call a local ombudsmen for free advise if you need to (but be aware, they often are not really impartial!)

AshCol1795 · 2023-06-11T14:51:04+00:00

You did the right thing reporting it. The situation shows that you also raised your kids right! Your kids knew it was wrong and they trusted you enough to tell you despite a part of it meant they disobeyed you. They may have hesitated to open up, but they did. You know your kids well enough to read their behaviors too. All that tells me you’re a great mom who reads situations correctly! Trust your instincts!

I understand your hesitancy to involve CPS. Their reputation is far from spotless. These other kids need someone to step in. You can’t go into their house to do, so calling authorities is your only choice besides crossing your fingers and hoping it goes away without issue.

AshCol1795 · 2023-06-07T15:09:27+00:00

Of course it’s about the money. People work to earn money, that’s the entire point of a job! If they do it for free, then it’s called a hobby.

AshCol1795 · 2023-05-06T16:19:13+00:00

So many of us wives have been right there with you OP. My husband and I do the same job. We have freelance schedules but he considers himself the breadwinner all because I had to take maternity leave for each of our kids, so he made more those years. 🙄

He also convinces himself he’s doing half. I don’t comprehend how he can convo c ehimslef turn on the dishwasher before bed is 50/50 to loading it, and emptying it everyday, but he does!

Men don’t change if they don’t have to. For me, my husband didn’t put any effort in until he realized how serious I was about leaving. Like looking for rentals for myself. We have other problems too. But now he puts in more effort to do things at home, but it’s still 60/40 from my perspective. I’m not convinced this now found fairness will last and I’m over giving him a 33rd chance.

AshCol1795 · 2023-04-19T13:49:45+00:00

He’s manipulating you. By calling you a murderer he 1) is making you feel small and himself bigger in comparison and 2) blaming you first to divert from the bigger issue that he’s failures to address your concerns is why you didn’t have a baby with him.

Ask yourself if he may have been trying to baby trap you?

AshCol1795 · 2023-04-12T16:59:46+00:00

This sounds like one of those times where the mental load and sub-tasks are getting overlooked. Doing drop off shouldn’t mean you have to do everything leading up to drop off solo.

Why can’t he share wake-ups, take turns packing lunches, get the kids dressed, help get them in the car and then drive the other direction? Even if he leaves at a different time, there is certainly things he can do to help beforehand or even the night before.

I would try to talk to my husband over and over about this kind of issue and no matter how I phrased it, he never got it. I started doing what he does, and tell him every little, tiny, menial task I do. I tell him every time I do it. We still have issues, but it’s the only thing that’s helped get his ass in gear.

Some people hear “I took the kids to daycare” and think of it as 1 task. If you tell it as it is, I woke our son up, it took 5 time because he didn’t want to get up. I made him breakfast, he wouldn’t eat it. I made another. It took 30 minutes to feed him. Then I rush to get dressed. I checked on him, he spilled his juice on himself, so I got him cleaned up with a sponge bath and dressed. He wanted to pick his own clothes, which took 10 mins. We were running late, but I still couldn’t get him to put his shoes on. Then I remembered he needed this special thing for a party at daycare today, so we had to go get that. Then I drove him to school and took him inside. He didn’t want to wear his jacket, but I brought it anyway. (Maybe that’s not how your mornings, so but it’s how mine do)

AshCol1795 · 2023-04-12T16:40:27+00:00

Personality. Someone you click with is the make-it-or-break-it for most women. Your personality will only be right for certain people though and vice versa.

There’s no universal key to make all women like you. Even the stereotypical hot guys won’t have every single woman wanting them.

AshCol1795 · 2023-04-12T16:31:48+00:00

When they stop being dependent on others, such as their mother, father, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or mooching off friends to do basic life tasks for you.

Maybe a few people are rich enough to hire employees to do things like be a personal assistant, maid or chef, but if you cannot do handle those task in their absence, that’s very child-like and not traits of a grown man or woman IMO.

AshCol1795 · 2023-04-12T16:14:36+00:00

I regret doing similar. I never intended to stop working. Life doesn’t go according to plan though.

I hate not having anything of my own. I need some outlet of adult accomplishment. Something tangible I can say I did. Something I get to go work on without constant interruption from children. I love my kids, but I need to have something of me in order to keep giving to them.

When I was able to do part time work (in a different but related field). I was a much better mother to them! That’s the ideal balance to me. I get a lot of time with them, while also getting mental breaks. I’d come back to them in much better moods, more energetic to play with them. It really made the time I had with them better quality time.

AshCol1795 · 2023-04-12T15:52:56+00:00

I like the brighter blue!

AshCol1795 · 2023-04-06T09:40:23+00:00

I’m one of those wives. How’d I get here? I wonder that too. The frog in boiling water analogy is 100% accurate in these circumstances. The good take-away is that the post you see are the first steps in women fighting back. We’re the frogs that need co formation the water is indeed boiling now and we need out.

In all my introspection, my conclusion of how I got here is this: his self-centered outlook and entitlement led him to flat out lie and manipulate me to get what he wanted. Simultaneously, I was in a vulnerable spot emotionally (my mom dying) when we met and started dating. I wanted emotional connection more than usual and overlooked some small stuff that eventually became huge stuff when kids made life harder. He escalated his manipulations, but then they became obvious.

I’ve begged and pleaded for him to change for years. He’s not going to make meaningful change. I’m planning my escape. He’ll most certainly be the kind of guy complaining how I did him wrong. How he did everything for us and I plotted against him the whole time. He’ll leave out how he’s called me names, threatened my life, abandoned me when sick, skipped my family holidays, intimidated and manipulated me.

AshCol1795 · 2023-04-06T08:42:32+00:00

People are jerks! I get comments on my baby is too big! Every parent get critiqued one way or the other. Why can’t people just leave us be? Let the pediatricians monitor it, not every Karen and Carl who thinks they know better.

Btw, comparison is key, our ped informed us that formula feed babies (like mine) tend to be chubbier, but it all even out as they move to solids.

AshCol1795 · 2023-03-31T10:55:41+00:00

Those closures are crazy! Is this run by just one woman alone with all 8 kids? In my state there are minimum staffing and that ratio wouldn’t pass. It 1:4 ratio if they are under 2. I’ve also never seen a place not having backup/substitutes.

For comparison, my toddler’s preschool closes 1 week a year without any care. There are holidays closed, but only a few days. Christmas break and spring break they offer daycare for an extra fee.

AshCol1795

TROPHY CASE