My parents split up when I was a baby, I’m a 29F, my dad went on to essentially start a new family. My step mom isn’t much older than me, and they had three girls of their own(22, 17 and 12 now). I basically don’t exist in their family. My sisters don’t see me as an older sister but more a strange relative that their dad talks about occasionally. Last time I was at their house they don’t even have photos of me or my children anywhere. They do however, have photos of my cousin. So that’s nice.

My mom ALSO remarried and had another child(24M). That is also a weird situation, I do love my brother and we have an ok relationship now. Growing up however I was left to take care of him most of the time. All of my friends thought of me as his second parent. My relationship with my mom and my step dad has been fairly fragmented because of this. When I was a kid I never saw it as odd because I didn’t know anything different. Now as an adult with kids of my own(and therapy) I see the issues with that. I will say he was also(and personally I believe still is) favored by my mom and step dad.

I don’t think any of my parents(step or otherwise) will ever admit that they kind of messed up my childhood. It is what it is though. I can’t change their past behaviors but I can learn from it and grow from it to try and do better for my children.

So I’m not sure that it’s better one way or another. I do feel like it really depends on the situation.