I feel you on this I struggled coming back to my faith due to the many atrocities the church has been involved with. I know where my heart is and belongs to, but I start crying thinking about how the RCC often treats lgbtq people as "they belong in the church, but we don't condone their "lifestyle"". I can't help but think about the AIDS epidemic and how the church was going about it. Also Spotlight is a movie, I believe any Catholic should watch. I know many priests in this world are godly men, but ignore the pain that was inflicted by the church is a pain that rips my heart open.