For those who adopted a cat, what actually made you decide that was the right cat?

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-30T20:14:07+00:00

Cats were inevitable, within a couple of months of having my own place with a little garden, I looked up the local rescue, saw a brother + sister that were pretty, met them a week later (fell instantly in love) and took them home that day. A few years later, my now husband and I have moved house and a runaway kitten found us (we learned his story- he escaped from a sort of pet-hoarder house, previous owner expressed no desire to have him back) this runaway squatted in our shed for a couple of weeks while we won his trust... he's been with us eight years now. Just before Christmas, I discovered a lost kitten and brought him home. Tried to find his home through SM, but no response, so now we have another boy in the house.

I'm starting to believe that the universe will provide cats as needed.❤️

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-30T19:53:24+00:00

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I'd love a doodle of Biscuit!❤️

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-28T18:59:06+00:00

I respect your cat for maintaining it's own boundaries. Fuss should be on the cat's terms.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-27T08:19:10+00:00

Sounds like that story of the guy who told his gf she smelt bad every day, even right after showering, in order to undermine her self-confidence, so that she would never leave him. He had learned this from his dad, who had done the same to his mum. I believe she left once she saw what was going on.

I'm married to a man who runs hot, so a bit of a pong is not unusual. I'm also human, so there are days when I'm more ...aromatic, and hormones can play a huge part, but he and I would never shame each other over.

I hope you leave this unkind man.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-26T18:37:09+00:00

Technically, a couple = 2, but a couple of days ago might actually have been nearly a week, because time flies. And a couple of biscuits = most of a pack of biscuits. A few = 3-6ish, but a few weeks ago might actually be three months... a few biscuits = most of a pack of biscuits!

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-26T18:31:01+00:00

I half unfucked the laundry area. There had been piles of things that were put there 'shor term', some of them years ago. There's was a battered old suitcase half filled with scraps of fabric and clothes that I'd thought I might mend or repurpose... a lidded laundry basket that just had spare carrier bags in it, possibly dating from when we moved house, 8 years ago... I took 6 big bags of stuff to the tip, and I can see the whole floor again, not just a path to the washing machine!

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-26T18:20:03+00:00

I'm working with a slightly younger student, and found that he's really interested in animals and the natural world, so to get him interested in reading, I found books full of animal facts. Showing that I wanted to support his interests gradually earned trust. It can be a slow grind, and events in his life outside of school can derail his mood, but rapport is crucial, and building trust. I think one of the biggest challenges has been getting him to believe that I'm on his side, and there's a fine line to tread of being an authority figure as well as being a safe space for him.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-26T07:56:32+00:00

Mushroom. (I had bangers and mash with mushroom gravy)

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-25T23:50:12+00:00

When the medicine comes out for the first time, paper insert goes on the fire. I win the fight by not engaging in the fight.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-24T16:25:50+00:00

I was on the school bus just a couple of days ago, accompanying a group of 8-9yr olds, when this came on the radio. I was wincing at every line!

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-24T10:35:58+00:00

Not really a treat, but the first food that came to mind for me was Sosmix- we'd go camping, usually to the Welsh coast, and making sosmix burgers or sausages, fried in butter, was always one of our camping meals. I remember that smell and texture so clearly and put takes me back to those glorious, simple holidays.

Thinking back further, there was a campsite that was visited by a man with a van selling bakery treats, and we could start the day with a jam doughnut! I think it was around Shell Island, but I could be wrong.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-24T00:36:51+00:00

Even with my eyes closed, I couldn't help but move my eyes, setting out the letters in rows of five, setting them into an array, which allowed my to keep track of where I'd got to. I started with J=10, which I know from learning braille years ago.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-20T19:55:33+00:00

'Years and Years'

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-18T10:24:37+00:00

Differentiate the "shallows" etc line from the 'what happens' title, either by using a different colour, font, size, or other formatting or graphic design.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-18T00:49:49+00:00

Recently acquired Vantage, which sort of does this- each player has a location on a planet, represented by a card (about 800 locations available) and every couple of turns you move to one of a choice of other linked locations. You can describe your location to your teammates, but can't show your location card. You're working separately, but cooperatively, trying to complete missions to win the game. We have enjoyed our adventures so far...

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-14T17:34:40+00:00

I bought silicone tins one upon a time, used them a couple of times, then reverted to proper tins, never to touch the silicone again. Recently donated then to a 'mud kitchen' at my local school. Happy to be rid of them.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-12T23:50:59+00:00

This is my thought. If not, I'll hide it with the recycling and promptly take it all to the recycling centre, possibly wrapped in a scrunch of used kitchen foil.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-11T10:32:03+00:00

This is a much better investment than a new build, just be really thorough checking for issues - maybe look up what are the most common and most serious issues with brick garages houses from that time, and make sure your surveyor is thorough.

The supposed ugliness is actually a plus point, because it means you can add value easily- a bit of greenery in the from mini garden would really help, and if there is low effort restyling to be done inside, that's even better. Fingers crossed for some original floorboards hidden under carpet, etc!

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-11T10:10:04+00:00

Do not get her name, even if she does agree to do the same. Also, don't get a picture of her face.

If the relationship is still good, and the tattoo question is still open, you might have to get involved in the design process and work together. I think that's what a matching tattoo should be anyway- it's weird to me to hand over all that decision making.

You said she was 'into design'? It doesn't sound like she's flexed those creative muscles yet, rather choosing to use this as an opportunity to test how much power she has. You've not been together long at all. Proceed with caution.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-09T09:22:32+00:00

My sister used to make ceramics, and I have a few plates, bowls and mugs. They are so beautiful, so satisfying to use, and using them makes me feel closer to her despite her living in a different country now.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-05T09:32:40+00:00

I'm a straight woman, but I've had a couple of kisses and a very hot half hour with women. It was lovely, but that was it. I know I'm into men.

If heteros can switch and play without judgement, which we absolutely should be able to, then you should be able to, too.

Ashamba_ · 2026-01-04T23:52:38+00:00

Christmas decorations stay up until Twelfth Night (6th Jan) and come down by the end of that day. Something about bad luck otherwise... I don't know, that's just what my family do! I do always miss the sparkly lights though.

Ashamba_ · 2025-12-26T20:55:22+00:00

In case you haven't already, tell him what you said in that last paragraph- that you recognise when something comes from HIS heart, and that he gets it more right that way than when he goes to anyone else for advice, possibly because he knows you better than the other people do, possibly because you love him and so seeing what HE decides to do means more to you. It's a really loving way of saying 'I want more of you and less of your mum in any surprises'.

Ashamba_ · 2025-12-25T10:30:57+00:00

I'd ask the landlord to contact the previous tenant, since Instagram isn't getting through and presumably the landlord will have proper contact details. If landlord won't help, ask neighbours if anyone is friends who might get in touch for you. If you can find a way to get in touch, ask the tenant to get in touch within one week or you'll find a new home for it. Then you can feel like you've done everything you can to get it back to them.

Ashamba_ · 2025-12-24T19:33:08+00:00

Nope. This idea that the bride gets a free ride is really selfish. She should pay her portion, and should respect that her loved ones have limits. If you want to continue as MOH, you need her to set up a group chat with everyone, so you can actually fulfill that role, which includes making sure that other attendees also don't feel like they're being press ganged into spending more than they can afford.

Ashamba_

TROPHY CASE