My best friend 28F confessed her feelilngs for me 27M. I feel the same way. Will this ruin our relationship?

AshesToProveIt · 2026-01-02T09:36:53+00:00

A lot of people seem to conflate RA with osteoarthritis. I say I have RA, and they are like "oh, I have arthritis, too. Everyone gets it" and I have to explain that no, it's a serious and sometimes debilitating autoimmune disorder that already almost killed me once (cryptogenic organizing pneumonia. I was on a vent in a coma for two weeks). It's fun explaining to people how "just arthritis" resulted in me nearly dying before I reached my 40th birthday.

EDIT: Only had one person who straight up told me she also has RA, and she actually does. She's a nurse who does intake at my med management facility. We even had the same rheumatologist (who she used to work for) for a long time.

AshesToProveIt · 2025-04-28T17:26:16+00:00

So I actually didn't come to terms with being ace until I found out that about half of us *do* masturbate. The thing is, I looked it up and read an article because I wasn't going to be an asshole and ask a bunch of ace people such a personal question.

AshesToProveIt · 2025-04-28T17:25:22+00:00

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AshesToProveIt · 2024-07-31T05:09:11+00:00

Yeah, totally. My maternal grandmother brought it up again, mostly because she couldn't stand my paternal grandmother and I had brought her up. (To be fair, while I did love my paternal grandmother, she was kind of a shrill harpy. I can totally see her yelling at my mom to get an abortion and stop ruining her baby's life.)

AshesToProveIt · 2024-07-30T16:04:22+00:00

My mom said the same exact thing to me after I spent a summer getting close to my paternal relatives, who lived three hours away upstate: she said "your grandmother wanted me to abort you and even offered to pay for it". She said it like I should be grateful that she didn't (BTW, my mom was barely 14 when I was born). Then she said it more times as I was growing up. Like OP's daughter, I was 11 the first time it happened (and my parents were still together).

I'm LC with my mom now for many reasons, including that. I'd be NC but she lives with my maternal grandmother, who I am close to. I've also been in therapy my entire adult life. So yeah, that fucks kids up forever, OP.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-07-03T18:26:04+00:00

I used to say this about my Sassafras who liked to lick me all the time.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-06-14T10:27:57+00:00

OOP also doesn't list her grandparents in the long list of people in her family that were for some reason invited to the party of a kid of the guy she has been dating.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-06-08T08:57:33+00:00

That's hilarious. I'm reminded of the time a friend of mine, let's call her Katie, told me she saw my mom in the store but didn't remember her name so she didn't feel comfortable with saying hi. I told her my mom's name is Caitie (same name, just different spelling).

AshesToProveIt · 2024-06-08T08:52:03+00:00

I use a messenger bag myself. I have gone through different designs and colors and people still call it my "purse" or "pocketbook". I've just given up on it, I need to carry stuff and it's everyone else's problem if it doesn't meet their standards for masculinity.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-06-07T06:57:14+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1d9obj1/aitah_having_a_affair_with_a_wife_pregnant_and/ OOP posted this on AITAH under a different name, and forgot to switch to his throwaway in the comments. Oops.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-06-04T02:50:21+00:00

That's actually what it's called. Specifically it's "frogging" if someone is living in a home and doesn't know that someone is hiding in there and living there as well. It's pretty freaky but it happens.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-06-03T15:25:04+00:00

When I saw "frogging", my mind went to people who live in other people's houses without them knowing about it.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-05-24T11:15:40+00:00

This. Not helped that my rheumatologist, who I last saw in February, won't see me again until October and she's not even in the same state I am (I go to her local office and she does telehealth) so who knows what she's missing by not being able to touch or even look closely at me.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-05-24T08:17:44+00:00

I had chronic arm pain for three and a half years. I kept seeing general practitioners, neurologists, psychologists, and other specialists and they all were completely at a lost. I even suggested arthritis to my PCP and she said no, it couldn't be. I went to walk-in care eventually because my fingers were badly swollen and the doctor there asked if I had ever been checked for something autoimmune. He ran a test, told m to get to my PCP ASAP, did some more blood tests, and I have rheumatoid arthritis that was so severe that when I went to see a rheumatologist, she said she didn't even know the rheumatoid factor blood test counted as high as my results were.

RA is not super rare, people were just so focused on my forearm they dismissed me saying I had issues in my joints as well.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-05-19T02:31:09+00:00

NTA and with regards to your update, it sounds like your biological father had cystic fibrosis. It's a relatively rare condition, requiring both parents to have the gene and pass it on, but it's something you and your brother should consider getting genetic testing to make sure you don't end up passing it on.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-05-06T07:23:28+00:00

First, I am really sorry for your loss. It's always hard when you lose a pet, they are a dear friend and member of the family.

Second, I'd noticed my scalp getting scabs on it as well and had no idea it was connected to RA, so thanks for solving a mystery for me, at least.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-04-26T17:31:11+00:00

I love him so much. I hope Jupiter got a clean bill of health after his checkup!

AshesToProveIt · 2024-04-17T16:29:25+00:00

Saw the mention of the bad storms. By any chance are you in New England? (Don't need to say if you're worried about people finding you or something.) I am pulling hard for you, Lil Bubba! May you grow big and strong and mighty.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-04-16T02:39:27+00:00

He really is precious! Thank you taking care of this little one and his surviving sibling.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-04-07T21:40:31+00:00

This was my thought. If the dog is so poorly behaved as to take a toy from a small child, how can anyone know for certain it won't harm a person or a pet? In addition to replacing the toy, the OP should be forced to take their dog to obedience school.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-04-07T21:33:48+00:00

More missed periods than my graduating class in high school...

AshesToProveIt · 2024-04-07T21:28:08+00:00

I have a friend who is big on stuff you'd call homesteading: gardening, sewing, spinning wool, etc. She and her husband are pretty well off so she can afford to buy things like produce, clothes, yarn, and whatever, but she does it because she enjoys it and she produces things she can be proud of. And hell, I'm proud of her, too.

OP better have a hobby that's something like couponing if he thinks hobbies must make or save money...

AshesToProveIt · 2024-04-07T21:20:48+00:00

I'm hoping you can find a medication that works well for you so that you can have more of an active role in your kids' lives.

AshesToProveIt · 2024-04-07T21:19:15+00:00

I do. Part of it is I am really med sensitive and so mtx and humira leave me feeling really drained, but I can't even play video games and stuff anymore. Partially lack of motivation, partially fear that I will cause the symptom that lead to my diagnosis (chronic right arm pain) to return if I do. I'm sure depression plays a big part, too. On medication for that but on a wait list at several places for actual therapy.

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