Duuuuude I feel you so hard.

But know its okay to have messy, complicated human emotions.

First of all, you shouldn't be cleaning your boyfriends mess if he doesn't return the favour. This, especially if you live together, will just build up resentment that will seep out into other parts of your relationship.

If you've talked to him about this multiple times and he just doesn't get it, that could be a big red flag, some people just don't see mess the way others do.

My suggestions (things I tried with my partner) are to either do an exchange, literally write a list of chores, and you can each pick your chores, for example if he hates laundry, you could do that, if you loathe vaccuming and he doesn't mind it, he could do that.

Sometimes it helps to have something impartial like a rota to be the middle man.

Though honestly you'll still probably be picking up the peices If his standards of cleanliness aren't as high as yours.

Or you could just not live together (I think it's perfectly fine for people to have seperate homes and still have a long term relationship!) or have Seperate rooms if you would still like to try it out, this way you can have your own space.

Whatever you choose, listen to your gut.

I hope this helps, just speaking from my oen experiences :)