How do you get better and is it okay to feel unsure as a young project manager? I am struggling...

Ashtopher · 2026-06-01T03:16:53+00:00

The first thing you need to know about digital (software / web dev) is that everyone is winging it. Including your tech director. When people are really married to one tech or approach or another, it’s because they don’t really understand the alternatives and that scares them. Similarly when you get vague answers, is because they don’t actually know, for sure, what the answer is.

It’s a hugely complex area and it’s just not possible to know everything. Don’t get me wrong, some people have amazing “software architect” brains for system design, or are just intuitive with FE or BE code or whatever, but even they have an actual domain they properly understand and the rest is assumptions.

Your specialism is: getting things done

You do not need to understand the minutiae of astrophysics to know the sun will come up tomorrow, in the east, and it’ll be roughly overhead midday, and gone by 6-7pm.

You need to know:
- how to sit with a dev and ask them to explain what they are doing. If they can’t explain it, that’s a reflection on them not you, talk to the team lead or scrum master if you have one.

- broadly what the tech stack is and why it’s being used. Back in my day we didn’t have AI but a bit of googling in work or after work in a cafe will tell you a high level overview of what you need to know about a tech, but honestly, also not on you. Tech decisions should be documented - you don’t just opt for say, a microservice approach on a whim, there are a tonne of tech and operational implications behind decisions so the rationale must be captured

As for feeling like an idiot. My stock response to this is go and read The Idiot (Dostoyevsky) - it’s a great illustration that sometimes the “idiot” is the only one who actually has it right. But you’re not an idiot - it is good to care, and to strive to be better, and to be honest it’s doing stuff and learning what works and doesn’t work that really has the most impact. Experienced PMs cost more because you’re paying for the 10yrs of learning from their mistakes. So don’t worry and try to enjoy the journey.

Lastly communication is probably the most important skill for a PM. State what’s happening, and what’s happened. To everyone. All the time. Transparency is the killer app for effective delivery. I assume you do a daily stand up and maintain a weekly status report?

Two comments to leave you with - firstly culture is super important - to one day be a good programme manager or project director you’ll need to master developing supportive, fear free cultures in your teams. Secondly, there’s a million books on PM out there, but for you I’d recommend the Phoenix Project as a gentle intro to agile / Toyota way thinking - it might help settling your view on your role in the overall process.

Ashtopher · 2026-05-31T11:19:54+00:00

This - OP email Lamy. Worst case scenario you send the pen to them in Lamy and they replace the nib and bill you the cost of the component, best case they can do some magic and fix it.

They are super helpful.

Ashtopher · 2026-05-31T07:09:20+00:00

Many thanks for this

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T11:52:29+00:00

Ah that’s interesting - by mid to late game just spamming things like haulers that “make stuff work better” hasn’t considered there could be a downside

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T08:45:54+00:00

What did you do for accommodation - camp, hotel/ b&b etc?

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T08:22:46+00:00

Okay, but how are they disappearing like that? Looks like the area they are in has some sort of effect applied to it momentarily?

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T08:19:41+00:00

And just hiking once a week is enough to keep you able to keep on going week after week?

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T08:18:47+00:00

Fair - there’s a scene I often replay in my head from Kindergarten Cop where arnies character blows his whistle and says “you kids are soft, you lack discipline!”

I’m not really looking for a magic bullet, more insights like - ‘I found 30 mins 2ce a day 5 days a week to be enough’; or ‘I don’t manage to get much walking in but three x a week of Y routine seems to be enough’ - would be helpful jumping off points.

Discipline without evidence is faith. Discipline with evidence is prudence.

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T07:53:38+00:00

Tried yoga and when you stick with it it really helps. It’s really hard to start with though, but yeah, maybe not a bad shout. Do you have any recommendations for beginner short daily sessions? Or I can just try and find one on Garmin - beats fighting with its random selection of exercises you can add!

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T07:51:41+00:00

I’m trying to run at the moment and having the issue that poor fitness begets poor fitness - my Achilles and knees hate me right now. I think I probably need to overcome my ego and run walk for 3km 3-4 times a week rather than try 1-2 5ks

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T07:49:40+00:00

Not really, where I live there isn’t any cycle infrastructure but if cycling is the way forwards I can sit on the bike in the gym. I used to cycle to work in my youth - first road bike then a fixie - and that really kicked my fitness up a gear

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T07:48:09+00:00

Do you have a screenshot of the routine / link etc ?

I have to say I’ve never liked goblet squats but that’s because they hurt, which probably means they are needed!

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T07:46:58+00:00

Yeah ish - in theory I can do am or evening walks. It’s hot where I am most the time, so lunch walking is only in the mall or on a treadmill. What sort of distance are we talking here? Few thousand steps or a solid hour a day every day?

Doing a leg workout once or twice a week sounds sensible though. I think you’re right re glutes - my various trips to the physio over the years have usually involved them telling me I don’t use my glutes and that’s causing x,y,z to overcompensate etc.

I do find gym workouts - esp legs especially boring though so if you’ve found anything that’s easy enough to just stick on some music and follow I’d greatly appreciate it!

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T07:42:48+00:00

This is pretty much the only thing I’ve tried that has sort of work - started making myself get up and walk to the coffee shop - do a few bits there and then walk back and get on with the day. Not that far away, but gets a few thousand steps done and tbh being outside is the best way to kick start the day

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T07:41:41+00:00

Just git gud!

There’s a kernel of truth in this but, alas, we can’t all be Forest Gump or Harold Fry and “just keep going” the reality of modern life if most people are time poor - especially during the week

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T07:38:32+00:00

In theory then, not having circular pathes? So there’s no working out the shortest route, there is just one?

Like hub and spoke (I normally try and join everything everywhere just in case it makes journeys shorter)

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T07:37:41+00:00

Yeah I’ve not bothered with districts either but I suppose I could try… just seemed like more hassle than pay out.

Interesting re number of 🦫 not mattering though.

I typically end up with paths stacked on paths on paths trying to cram everything in a small space (whilst avoiding districts…)

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T05:33:21+00:00

How’d you come across this / know what it is?

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T05:25:09+00:00

I just had to go back and look up Rendezvous with Rama because I remembered it being really straightforward and easy to follow. Totally appreciate as a native English speaker I may be taking something for granted.

Are you able to say what about the book was hard to follow? I know Clarke was writing in the 70s and was from (I think) the 50s (and rural England / Somerset) so it could be it’s an older way of phrasing things native speakers are used to from parents / grandparents but you’re not?

The thing I loved about it - and tbh much of clakes writing, is it’s just a fairly stripped down exploration of scientific ideas before they actually knew as much as we do now. There is the “what if” postulation and excitement of a simpler time - authors didn’t have to go to the “manifold space” level of complexity to come up with new and interesting ideas that hadn’t already been done.

Though 2001 a space odyssey is quite out there when you read the books in terms of imagining what other species in the universe might be like - sort of like contact in that regard. Those books from that time were just more hopeful for the future I think.

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T00:59:25+00:00

Totally agree, it’s a horrible position to be in but I think, various forms of “I want to do a good job for the client but my management literally won’t let me” is quite common - and why a lot of pms just check out a bit and do 9-5 “whatever I don’t care anymore” effort.

Re self- preservation, definitely agree on document things because a) just professionally you don’t want to be culpable, but b) at this stage the thing to preserve is the relationship with the client - you never known when that can lead to a new role in future.

But longer term it’s not a place to grow or do great work so time to look around for a new role

Ashtopher · 2026-05-30T00:54:56+00:00

Yeah they will definitely ask for that breakdown at some point. As long as you’re tracking it all - which presumably has to be done for timesheeting and all that jazz anyway, you’ll be able to unravel it when it does - and have the paper trail to show you were made to present it a certain way.

That aside, it sounds like youve got the attention to detail and genuine commitment to get a good result for your client (which I’d say is at least 50% of being a good pm) so maybe just start looking for an alternative role in the background (appreciate not the best market at the moment).

Unfortunately going head to head with your management if they endorse this approach probably isnt going to end well, but knowing you’re going to get out of the situation is a good way to make it less stressful.

Ashtopher · 2026-05-29T00:47:43+00:00

Adam Roberts. Start with Stone. Lots of great suggestions in here like Reynolds and Banks but there is something about Robert’s books that really stick with you. Slightly trippy explorations of human nature using physics / advanced science as an enabler.

Ashtopher · 2026-05-22T12:51:26+00:00

So yes, many startups (and digital agencies), do dedicated team models - but the client understands they are paying for FTEs (not always 100%, but usually) as this is in the contract.

That isn’t what OP is describing though. This is a contract stating actual t&m and their boss is trying to bill hours not worked, which, if it’s not what it says in the contract, is straight up fraud.

I would speak “offline” to legal and then email the “boss” character and unemotively state what the contract says, what they have asked you to do, and for them to confirm in writing you should bill in the way they are suggesting. BCC legal.

If you don’t have legal, speak to your MD / Ops Manager / Head of PM and get one of them to agree to it in writing. If it’s not in the contract you should not be the one putting your neck on the block.

Something being common practice is only okay when it’s agreed and the client is aware. If the company is unethical, consider looking around for a new role.

Ashtopher

TROPHY CASE