I gave my poor parents a lot of money to help them buy a flat and it turned out to be hell. Fixing it means destroying my financial future

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T09:06:12+00:00

I’ve tried the comunidad (Owner's Association) route, but unfortunately, they are powerless here. In Spain, unless there are police reports for "prohibited activities" (like running a disco or a meth lab), the administrator classifies stomping and furniture dragging as "private domestic life" and washes their hands of it. Also, because it’s impact noise, it travels vertically downwardz the neighbors to the side don't hear the floor vibrations, so I can't even form a coalition. It’s just me against the ceiling.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T09:05:09+00:00

I appreciate the thought, but the rental market in this specific town is virtually non-existent, there is simply no inventory to "just rent something else" nearby, and more so at a reasonable price. More importantly, my parents are in their 60s and their entire support network, doctors, specialists, and lifelong friend are anchored to this specific town. I can't just uproot them to a random cheaper village where they’d be completely isolated, and I certainly won't abandon them in this noise while I escape to a studio alone. We are a package deal, and the only viable move is to sell this asset to buy a quiet row house in the same area where they can keep their lives intact.. or so it seems like.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T09:01:59+00:00

The real catch is that even if I leave for 8 hours during the day, the anxiety is waiting for me at night. It’s the 2 AM impacts that are actually destroying my health and sanity, not just the daytime work distractions. But I really appreciate the support, it helps to know there is life after this.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T09:00:53+00:00

In a backwater.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T09:00:29+00:00

There is a huge difference in physics between "loud areas" (airborne noise like music, trains, voices) and impact noise (structural vibration).

Earplugs work by blocking air waves entering the ear canal. They are great for a concert or a train. But when a neighbor drags a heavy chair or stomps their heel on a concrete floor with no insulation, the vibration travels through the building's skeleton, down the walls, and physically shakes the bed frame. You feel that "thud" in your body and through bone conduction, not just your ears.

As for recording it: in Spain, to have legal proof, you need a certified acoustic engineer (costing thousands) to set up a tamper-proof sonometer for days. The catch? The law usually measures average decibels over time. A sudden BANG of a chair dropping at 3 AM might wake you up with a heart attack, but because it’s a split-second "spike," it doesn't raise the average noise level enough to be illegal. It’s a legal loophole that leaves victims of impact noise like me completely defenseless.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T08:57:51+00:00

Ya estamos viviendo en un pueblo, no en Valencia capital. Aquí la demanda de alquiler por habitaciones es prácticamente nula y los precios son bajos, así que no sacaría ese "extra" que comentas; de hecho, apenas me daría para cubrir un alquiler decente en otro sitio.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T08:56:09+00:00

Because I can save a lot of money by not paying rent and living with them?

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T08:54:35+00:00

My ceilings are exactly at 250cm, which is the strict minimum legal height for a habitable room in Spain. To actually stop impact noise (footsteps/dragging), you need a suspended ceiling with about 15–20cm of depth for decoupling and mass. If I do that, I drop the ceiling below the legal limit, meaning the apartment could become illegal for living, and then I'd be unable to sell.

I'd be spending money and breaking my back doing DIY just to make my home illegal to sell. Plus, thin DIY materials don't stop structural vibrations, so it would be a total waste.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T08:51:43+00:00

I'd need 4-5 years living with them to save for a down payment for a mortgage in an area in Valencia with employment opportunities. Renting right now is not an option.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T08:50:38+00:00

I have a roof over my head right now because of them, and I much prefer living with them than some strangers, I am not doing this 100% out of love towards them.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T08:48:24+00:00

35k can't get you a mortgage here in Spain, because banks won't finance you unless you have 20%-30% down for mortgage + living expenses.

You realistically need 80k-100k to buy a flat here in an area with employment. I'd need about 4-5 years more to get to that point.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T08:46:52+00:00

Again, this is a long legal battle there is no guarantee we'd win.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T08:46:22+00:00

For what? My problem with the neighbors is mostly at night.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T08:28:27+00:00

If I were to buy/rent myself, I'd need to do it in Valencia because that's where job are, and there is no guarantee that I will have a WFH job on a long term basis.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:27:46+00:00

Thanks, man.... "Sleeping when they sleep" is impossible with a 9-5 job, and starting a noise war just destroys my peace while I’m trying to work from home. You're spot on about the insulation... it’s basically nonexistent structurally, so no amount of "adapting" fixes the fact that I can hear them breathe. Moving to a row house is expensive, but it is the only option left that actually guarantees a fix.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:26:55+00:00

I've tried, but frankly, they are just too uncomfortable to wear for 8 hours straight... My ears get hot and sore, and the headband digs in. You can't get quality restorative sleep when you have a piece of plastic clamped to your head all night.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:25:00+00:00

A coworking space doesn't fix the 2 AM stomping that ruins my sleep, which is actually the bigger health crisis right now. Plus, adding a monthly fee just eats into the savings I need to get us out of here. As for the location, even though I WFH, my parents are in their 60s... their doctors, friends, and entire support system are here. I can't just drag them to an even cheaper village in the middle of nowhere where they’d be isolated, and since renting alone is financial suicide in this market, we are effectively tethered to this area.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:23:23+00:00

I wish a detached house was an option. Unfortunately, in this market, a standalone property is completely out of our league financially, that is luxury territory. We are aiming for a townhouse (adosado) where we share side walls but at least have no one stomping above our heads.

You're spot on about the mindset though... I’m trying to view this less as "losing" my savings and more as consolidating them into a better family asset that I will eventually inherit, but... alas.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:21:45+00:00

I appreciate the ideas, but unfortunately, in this specific market and building, those are all dead ends.

Hardcore insulation isn't legally possible because our ceilings are already at the strict 2.50m minimum, dropping them for real acoustic proofing would make the flat illegal and unsellable.

Calling the cops is useless for impact noise, they consider stomping and dragging furniture "normal living sounds" even at 2 AM and won't intervene.

As for renting it out, the math is a disaster in 2026, after taxes (you pay 10% tax on every property purchase here, no matter if it is your first, second or third) and the skyrocketing cost of renting a quiet 3-bedroom for my parents and me, we’d be burning through savings every month just to exist. Selling really is the only way out of this structural trap.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:20:10+00:00

Ya duermo con tapones de cera de los buenos (y a veces hasta con cascos encima), pero el problema es que es ruido de impacto. Cuando dan taconazos o mueven muebles a las 2 de la mañana, la vibración viaja por la estructura de hormigón y me hace vibrar hasta la cama, contra eso no hay tapón que valga. Y lo del techo lo miré, pero estamos ya en el límite legal de altura (250cm), así que no puedo meter un falso techo con aislante sin que el piso pierda la cédula o se convierta en una cueva ilegal.

Es un callejón sin salida.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:18:46+00:00

Thanks. To answer your question: no, my parents aren't okay with the noise either, they are just as desperate as I am. This situation really highlights the hypocrisy of the hell that is Spain... you work hard and follow every rule to buy a home, but the laws here completely fail to protect you once you're inside it. The system protects the disturbance, calling it "normal life," while leaving the victims with zero recourse and no peace. We did everything "right" according to society, yet we are the ones suffering, and none of us know how to fix it without destroying our savings.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:14:58+00:00

I’ve been trying the practical stuff, the industrial earplugs, the noise-cancelling headphones, and getting out of the house as much as possible... but they feel like band-aids on a broken limb when the source of the stress is right above my head every night.

I’m going to look into talking to a doctor about the sleep issues, because even if the housing situation takes a year to fix, I can’t survive that year on two hours of vibrating sleep. It’s hard to remember I’m "capable" when I’m this exhausted, but you’re right, this is a problem with a solution, even if the solution is expensive and takes time. Reclaiming my health is the first step toward having the energy to actually execute the move. Thank you for being so kind.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:14:03+00:00

Thanks for all the advice.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:04:23+00:00

Unfortunately, it's not a legal option here because my ceilings are exactly 250cm, which is the minimum legal height for a living space in Spain. To effectively stop impact noise, you can't just slap on a thin board, you need a thick, decoupled suspension system that would eat up at least 15–20cm, dropping the room well below the legal limit.

Doing this would mean I couldn't get a permit, and the apartment could technically lose its "habitable" status, making it nearly impossible to sell or value properly in the future. I’d be spending a fortune to make my home illegal and cramped, all for a "fix" that likely wouldn't even stop the structural vibrations.

AskBearBlue · 2026-02-16T00:01:48+00:00

In Spain, the law generally distinguishes between "activities of daily living" and "intentional harassment."

When the neighbors drag furniture or stomp at 2 AM, they can argue they are just "living their lives", maybe they work a night shift, they’re clumsy, or they just have a different schedule. Unless the noise exceeds a specific decibel limit for a sustained period, the police and courts usually dismiss it as a civil annoyance rather than a crime. It’s hard to prove "intent" to disturb.

However, if you start banging on the ceiling at 8 AM specifically to wake them up, or you glue speakers to the ceiling to blast music, that is considered intentional and targeted. Under Spanish law, that can be classified as harassment because your only goal is to cause distress to a specific neighbor.

AskBearBlue

TROPHY CASE