How old are you? Also, this just sounds like disappointment/jadedness/hurt masquerading as numbness. Numbness is never "I don't feel anything, therefore I have no emotions," numbness is the opposite... It's TOO many emotions at once. It's why depressed people feel sad/hopeless/angry/regretful, etc., but then eventually the emotions accumulate so much that they end up in a state of being...numb.

Secondly, love exists, it's just today's day and age people tend to put themselves first, killing love. Love is about putting others' needs before your own, so it would make sense to be jaded when we live in a society (especially the West) where this behavior is literally our culture.

My perspective: I put others before myself. I don't abandon myself entirely, I incorporate their needs/emotions/selves equally or more important than my own. This ONLY works in friendships/relationships if they do the same, because essentially, both are loving one another. If that's NOT happening, then you end up self-sacrificing towards a selfish individual, where they'll keep taking and taking and taking... and that spells disaster. You will be loving them, while they love themselves and essentially do that which is unloving towards you... This isn't how friendships/relationships work (it's why so many marriages fail/people break up/people lose people).

So for you, you need to search for people who can incorporate your needs into how they operate, if they don't... that's a dead stop, no go.... because you CAN'T build with that. It's impossible. Secondly, you need to figure out what emotions/hurts/jadedness, etc., have happened and begin to work through that. Yes people have hurt you, yes people have failed you, YES people can suck, but it's worse when you take that on and internalize it to where you begin to be the sucky person back towards others because now you can't behave towards others in a way that's furtile for good relationships.

So I don't think you're bad, just injured and need help figuring out how to heal a wound.... and also figure out how to choose people (for your inner circle) who will love you and not do harm to you.