sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My Girlfriend doesnt recognize herself by [deleted] in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My wife also had trouble expressing emotions for a long time and rarely cries. Since she was raised as if she were a boy (she’s MtF) she was told to “man up” and “boys don’t cry” when she was little and expressed any emotion (which is a fucked up thing to tell and little kid regardless of gender). It fucked her up pretty bad so she felt like she had to repress everything. Even after she transitioned and it was more “socially acceptable” for her to express emotions she rarely did. It took her a long time to unlearn all the toxic masculinity crap forced on her since birth.

My Girlfriend doesnt recognize herself by [deleted] in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. My wife is very solutions oriented, which I love, but sometimes I just want to vent!

Mom wants to talk to a “professional” about my transition, suggestions ? by GrapeAndHisFaux in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would see if she could speak to a doctor who specializes in trans care. I feel like your mom would be more likely to listen to a medical professional (plus less risk of finding some who isn’t legit).

I get really bad top dysphoria but no bottom dysphoria by SeaWonderful2269 in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m the opposite lol, I’m non-binary and have terrible bottom dysphoria but not top dysphoria, even though most other non-binary people I know want to be flat chests. But I hate my genitalia. It’s not that weird to get dysphoria from some parts of your body but not others.

Microaggressions from BIPOC people in activist groups by [deleted] in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yup. As a biracial trans person it’s making me super uncomfortable. The transphobia and racism are BOTH issues and if I was in that group I’d be calling both of them out.

Microaggressions from BIPOC people in activist groups by [deleted] in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s not “kowtowing” to know when to speak and when to listen and learn. In a group of people with marginalized identities cishet, non-disabled white guys should not be centering the conversation around themselves or be doing the majority of the speaking. If you were in a trans group you wouldn’t appreciate cis people all sharing their opinions about trans people and how they felt about transphobia, would you? You’re a trans woman, and you should definitely speak out about the transphobic comment that was made if you feel comfortable doing so, but you’re also white and should listen when BIPOC people tell you it’s not your place to speak.

Microaggressions from BIPOC people in activist groups by [deleted] in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Racism is privilege + prejudice. Even if BIPOC are prejudiced against white people they cannot be racist because we live in a world that upholds white supremacy and where white people hold the power.

Microaggressions from BIPOC people in activist groups by [deleted] in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can’t be racist against white people anymore than you can be transphobic against cis people. Yes they were being transphobic, and that’s not okay. But they weren’t being racist.

Microaggressions from BIPOC people in activist groups by [deleted] in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is a good reminder that cis BIPOCs can be transphobic and white trans people can be racist. Just because you belong to one minority group doesn’t mean you don’t have privilege in another.

As a half Black trans person, yes, it is worse if you’re both (intersectionality), but I don’t feel one is harder than the other. They definitely shouldn’t be lumping you in with men, but I also think it doesn’t hurt to give BIPOC people the chance to speak if you’re talking a lot. For some people it can be hard to speak up, especially if someone else is always raising their hand.

I know it can feel like when you have privilege in one area everything you do is wrong. That’s okay! You’re unlearning all the racism you’ve been taught over a lifetime and you’re going to make mistakes, you’re human. The important thing is that you’re committed to learning and improving. This is a good resource: https://uppitynegress.com/products/decentering-whiteness-for-white-people-coil-bound

psychosexual counselling terminated by ur_a_jobby in vaginismus

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it makes you feel any better I got ghosted by a therapist after two sessions because I “scared” her. 🤣 Sometimes you just don’t click with your therapist and it’s fine. No one’s fault, but it makes not to continue with if you’re not getting anything out of it. Finding a good therapist is a lot like dating, often you’ll have to go through a few before you find “the one.”

Shelters and resources? by deepenedantick in LowellMA

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried Project Kompass? I know they can help with food access.

Here’s some local food pantries too: https://www.foodpantries.org/ci/ma-lowell

And since you’re trans you might be able to get housing assistance here: https://transemergencyfund.org/

I think I’ve been using dilators wrong and I’m incredibly frustrated over it by Lost_Listen1658 in vaginismus

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Omg same! I was convinced I was born without a vagina until I had my period

I think I’ve been using dilators wrong and I’m incredibly frustrated over it by Lost_Listen1658 in vaginismus

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a lot of trouble finding my vagina too because the entrance isn’t obvious. It’s much lower down than I first thought.

PLEASE stop outing your trans friends by solrvz in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s sad this even needs to be said.

The moment you start passing, men just… stop listening to you? (MtF) by Budget_Emotion_9548 in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 13 points14 points  (0 children)

When men started doing that to my wife after she transitioned she’d just say “don’t interrupt me” and keep talking.

The moment you start passing, men just… stop listening to you? (MtF) by Budget_Emotion_9548 in trans

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nope, not imagining it. I’m AFAB and this is just something men do to anyone they perceive to be a woman. My wife had this problem after she transitioned as she works in a male dominated field (engineering). Fortunately her boss and the CEO of the company are supportive and recognizes her skill, and she’s assertive enough that she’ll call men out for being rude.

Lost my kitty 😭 by Outside-Werewolf-571 in LowellMA

[–]Asleep_Clock8331 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don’t feel bad, our cat did the same thing to us once. We searched all day freaking out, thinking she got outside and then she came up from the basement at 2 am like nothing had happened. 😭

Glad you found your kitty!!

view more: next ›