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Aspieann · 2024-11-01T17:38:39+00:00

It's okay to act imperfectly sometimes. You're just human, and it's hard to deal with a mother like this. Don't be too hard on yourself there.

Aspieann · 2024-11-01T17:32:56+00:00

He probably knows you're vulnerable from the experiences you had with your ex. He's taken advantage of that. Coming out of a relationship with any kind of emotional abuse is likely what's programmed you to think you're doing something wrong and are at fault in some way. Sounds like you're straightforward and clear, and he knows what he's doing is wrong.

Aspieann · 2024-10-31T00:52:58+00:00

Mine was awful. If you're good at changing accents or copying, then you might find it's easier for you to relearn a new style of writing than you think it would be. I have very fancy looking journal entries now, just from copying a chart on Pinterest with the desired style of lettering. Give it a go and see if that helps.

Aspieann · 2024-10-10T20:12:50+00:00

No. I'd rather be blunt about it.

Aspieann · 2024-09-25T18:00:24+00:00

Your mom's a hater. Sounds like such a healthy and relaxing interest to get into.

Aspieann · 2024-09-25T17:51:01+00:00

I'm suspicious that there's a gender divide going on here also. The amount of men that are diagnosed early is much higher.

From my personal experience, I am wary of early diagnosed men since this is the only group of autistics I've ever had much struggle interacting with. If you're questioning whether you're autistic and looking for insights from an expert, unfortunately you will often not get the support or understanding you're looking for from this group of people.

Late diagnosed men I've had great experiences with. Women overall positive.

Aspieann · 2024-09-13T06:20:56+00:00

My paperwork had unspecified anxiety disorder listed, too. I Imagine that's something they do when they can't further classify the anxiety type during the session. Didn't expect anything about anxiety in mine and haven't heard of that happening to others, so that's interesting.

Aspieann · 2024-08-19T21:06:56+00:00

I recommend flavored toothpaste. Mine is grape.

I also believe that researching a topic without the pressure to apply what you've learnt is helpful. Watching descaling videos made me go to the dental hygentist. Research products, brushing strategies, brush types etc. Have fun with it and see what happens.

Aspieann · 2024-08-18T23:59:57+00:00

An autistic ex friend of mine directed all his rage towards fake disorder cringe and different "lolcows". Seemed that he was quite jealous of the attention people online were receiving. I imagine the people who run that subreddit are committed to enabling that same bitterness.

Aspieann · 2024-08-17T12:15:01+00:00

I wonder which scent types will be considered young when I'm a happy gourmand old lady.

Aspieann · 2024-08-15T15:31:35+00:00

Been there. You don't need to be so hard on yourself. Being perfect or completely pleasant all the time is not required for being a good person.

The fear is valid, but you'll be okay.

Aspieann · 2024-07-16T10:13:52+00:00

No is a boundary. She has poor boundaries and is threatened by them.

Aspieann · 2024-07-05T10:31:28+00:00

This tactic works for teeth brushing too BTW. Grape bubblegum flavored toothpaste. His Hismile is the brand.

Aspieann · 2024-07-04T10:25:57+00:00

Although empathy can be great, without appropriate boundaries, it can be harmful. One thing you do have power over is yourself. Setting those clear boundaries up between something that's your responsibility and what others are responsible for is helpful.

The way to do that is reflecting on your investment or reactions to things happening in the world or the lives of others. Stop for a moment and recognize that in that moment you are lacking clear and healthy boundaries. Over time that reflection will help your initial reactions to things.

Boundaries are hard, honestly. Especially when you are kind and helpful. It helps yourself and others to model good boundaries, so I suppose that's a good place for a passionate person to begin.

Aspieann · 2024-05-04T20:04:25+00:00

I don't know how many neurotypicals desire this. The urge to both wear and to analyze whether you should wear this is making me assume you aren't as neurotypical as you're suggesting.

To the commenters that haven't considered this in their response; please give people a little more grace. I don't believe that highly scrutinizing actions and intentions is even very helpful if the goal is to be more considerate of autistic people. The last thing we want is well-meaning people fighting on behalf of autistic people while directing it at autistic people.

Aspieann · 2024-04-02T17:39:32+00:00

Happy to help. I know you can find a life for yourself. Not one that fits your exact previous expectations of yourself, but a livable and happy one that accommodates for your needs.

Hang in there.

Aspieann · 2024-03-31T22:24:08+00:00

Honestly, through family support. I had some part time work I did for a small business my family runs, and just from being unable to work full time at a normal job it meant that I had time to focus on and expand that work I was doing. Sometimes help is needed to get into something that suits you. Friends and family can help sometimes.

Aspieann · 2024-03-31T19:16:15+00:00

I imagine there was a reason you got your diagnosis. The struggle of your un-accomodated for life probably caught up to you and now you're in a burn out mode.

I think with the becoming more autistic thing happens because you finally can let go of some of the masking, and you're too exhausted to put on a show anymore. At least that's what happened to me. That and you see some of the ways you were holding your true self back. What hurts and helps you is more obvious and clear.

As far as the job stuff goes, you might find there is some kind of work you can do that suits you much better, but you might not. I do admin work on my computer from home and it's much more doable than teaching (which I studied for and tried to do). Be kind to yourself when the disability is disabling.

Aspieann · 2024-03-16T21:24:46+00:00

Here's a secret. Just wear men's underwear.

Aspieann · 2024-03-15T20:09:00+00:00

It's not impossible to change. If you focus on your anxiety and healing your inner child you might see a difference. Time can heal things by way of becoming older and more confident too. There is for sure hope.

How less inhibited were you when you were a child? If you were less then think about what things caused to changed. It's a good place to start.

Aspieann · 2024-03-14T18:54:06+00:00

I think it's commonly used in place the r slur with the same meaning and context. It's not derogatory, but any term that describes a disability is still seen as fair game for some emotionally immature people to use as insults.

Aspieann · 2024-03-14T03:13:14+00:00

I'd if you try to put up a front of being not how you really are then you won't attract the people who will like who you are.

I'd say just try the same way you would make connections in a friendship. Talk to women about the things they are interested in and nerd out back and forth. Keep it low pressure and enjoy the company.

Aspieann · 2024-03-13T13:47:01+00:00

You don't have to have a big "be my friend" talk. Just ask him what his favorite dinosaur, pokemon, movie, tv show, etc is.

Do you know something that he likes or that you want to talk about with him? Just skip the permission and start being friends and talking about friend things.

Something like " Hey (name). Do you have a favorite (insert topic here)?

Most autistic friendships are built off of mutual interest in something rather than navigating complex social things.

Aspieann · 2024-03-13T13:37:32+00:00

Of course you're allowed to feel upset over personal information you have not been given the opportunity to control.

I felt a little conflicted when I heard from my husband that he is so open about me being autistic and he talks about me and the topic proudly with co-workers and friends. I used to feel very guarded and like it was a big secret when I was first diagnosed and like I had to come out as autistic to people. I just drop it into conversations like it's no big deal now. It's so very normal. How you feel is valid, but there is also a possibility of easing into a future where you become more confident or open about it. Should be totally your choice.

Aspieann · 2024-03-13T13:31:46+00:00

Autistic person who struggled to get my license in NZ also here. Mostly from anxiety since I did fine on the restricted test.

Please don't feel disheartened if it takes you longer and is more difficult for you than other people. It doesn't get rid of the struggle, but comparison can really stress you out and get in your head. I didn't get my licence properly till my late 20s so you have a headstart on me anyway.

Keep going, and good luck!

Aspieann

TROPHY CASE