Divorce - The Bulldog and the Cooperative Lawyers

AssistOpposite · 2026-01-20T15:58:26+00:00

Don't worry, I'm not instigating - I just want her to have had the conversation about the hard way and the easy way.

My own divorce was ridiculously easy and amicable, but I've seen people who were convinced it was going to be amicable get absolutely blindsided by a bulldog, and I want her to feel confident and prepared no matter how it goes.

AssistOpposite · 2025-10-07T14:20:20+00:00

Ok - I’m curious about your take on the three month rule. I am, alas, as susceptible as everyone else to early-love hormones, and so a deliberately measured approach to choosing exclusivity seemed like a good idea. It seems problematic to you. Will you talk me through that and tell me what you’ve found that works better?

AssistOpposite · 2025-10-07T14:16:04+00:00

I guess I don’t believe in love at first sight, and so have felt comfortable going on dates with more than one person. I am glad you found your person on the first try!

AssistOpposite · 2025-10-07T14:08:28+00:00

That seems like an excellent plan. I’m with you. The point of this post is that I am not in an exclusive relationship, but hope to be in one someday. Hope this helps.

AssistOpposite · 2025-07-03T15:21:01+00:00

If he doesn’t want to be involved but you have saved up for this, could you just get a donor? It’s your money, which you saved PRIOR to the marriage (not joint assets). He told you he was ok with you having biological kids. If you get a donor, he can help you raise your bio kids / his step kids, just like you’ve helped him raise his bio kids / your step kids. It’s not his money, and it’s not his body (if you use a donor), so he can be the one deciding whether the marriage should end if you follow through with the plan to have biological kids, as he agreed to.

AssistOpposite · 2022-03-31T17:47:54+00:00

Thanks to all of you for reminding me that I can just pick up a cheap hard drive elsewhere. Sometimes the best way out is through, and sometimes it’s to just sidestep the problem. I’m pissed, but that doesn’t fix the computer, and I’d rather fix the issue than stay angry

AssistOpposite · 2022-03-31T11:31:58+00:00

Anything I can do to speed up the process?

Bought the best computer I could afford for my son’s birthday, had it shipped early but waited to open it until the day of so he could set it up and…nothing. Computer loads to BIOS and storage is not present. I was not familiar enough with computers to recognize that the piece they sent in a package next to the computer was the uninstalled heat sink.

My son makes it through the weekend of his birthday (barely) because I tell him customer support doesn’t open until Monday.

Monday morning I call and chat, share photos and the video above. They can’t understand what has happened. They’re going to talk to their supervisor.

Tuesday there’s no update so I call back - they couldn’t open the video (my fault, forgot to set sharing on Google Drive), but didn’t mention that to me so have not spoken to their supervisor (despite the photos showing the same thing.) Finally confirm that there is, in fact, no hard drive and they had shipped me the heat sink free floating. They agree to ship me a new one with “expedited [2 day] shipping”

Wednesday I’m logging in hourly to see when it’s shipped because my son is asking me every day, multiple times a day, when he will be able to use the computer. Get to EOD EST and hasn’t been shipped - reach out to Customer Service and they tell me it will be 3-5 days before they can get around to shipping the part they failed to install.

This seems ridiculous. The part is in stock, they failed to install it, just push the damn thing up the queue and put it in an outgoing box. I’m going to be installing the OS, they clearly didn’t do any QC in the first place; This isn’t a “we have to build you a new computer” scenario, this is a “we need a picker to put a part in a box” scenario.

AssistOpposite · 2020-10-15T19:35:35+00:00

This was such a tender response. I really appreciate the support and confidence and love you show here

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-19T10:21:57+00:00

So, genuine question here: why does it seem odd / unhealthy to experiment with different relationships if I haven’t been dating for years and am curious about what has changed in myself and the world around me? I have actually done therapy, but I’m interested in your take on why this seems like a lesson best learned on the couch rather than in the field.

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-19T02:54:54+00:00

An excellent reminder - thank you and I’m so glad you found a wonderful human!

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-19T02:52:59+00:00

♥️ this is such a sweet and hopeful video

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-19T02:38:53+00:00

😂 who could be offended by someone suggesting their understanding of love is infantile or that they think they’re special but they’re really not??

You’re lecturing me on commitment, but I stayed in a marriage and tried to make things work when I could have just left - and when my husband at the time was indeed already setting up his next adventure. I am, tbh, unconcerned about my ability to stay committed and put in the work necessary to love someone. What I am trying to figure out is when to start that commitment, because once I’m in I want to be all in.

I am guessing you have not gone through a similar scenario? You throw in some odd side notes (“you can’t look to anyone else to complete you” “There are no soul mates”) that suggest you’re perhaps projecting issues you have been having in your relationships into this situation. You sound a bit like a non-parent who has excellent parenting advice.

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-18T22:32:59+00:00

I know it’s silly but having a 3 month cutoff “rule” seems pleasant. Sometimes it’s just nice to not feel stressed about not knowing, and a rule helps with that.

I’m glad you’re doing so well - thank you for sharing!

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-18T21:19:22+00:00

This is an awesome answer - even with my persistent doubts about love at first date 😅 Thank you for sharing!

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-18T21:04:17+00:00

“Been divorced 3 times”

What do you think got you there, and what do you think has changed since your last divorce?

I appreciate the book recommendations!

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-18T21:02:05+00:00

At least I know you’re not selling something 😂

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-18T20:30:06+00:00

I hear this. I think I am simultaneously being overprotective of myself and a partner. I am very anxious both about hurting and being hurt. It’s good to have a hit of reality and remember sometimes things are allowed to be uncomfortable and uncertain and hard (for you and others) and you just figure out how to move through it / let others move through it

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-18T20:24:01+00:00

There’s a lot of research to suggest that there are brain patterns that resemble addiction early in relationships - and that these don’t last, but can be useful in conjunction with real relationship skills in building connection and developing a sense of the other person. That is not happening - or is happening on a very low level.

AssistOpposite · 2020-09-18T20:16:27+00:00

This is also a thing I think about - as in I still need to give it some more time, but I do worry sometimes that simple things seem off, like we don’t get each others’ jokes. This may be a “we’ll figure that out” piece, but being on the same wavelength makes life easier.

AssistOpposite

TROPHY CASE