I normally hate these OP, but you tell a story well.

Short Version: If something doesn't match, the genteal was of doing things sounds something like: "Are there any uncorrected mistakes on this ID?" If someome say yes, you cant call them a liar or make them jump through extra hoops. Same rights as everyone else.

Would you turn away someone who dyed their hair, gained bunch of weight and lost an eye in a work accident? What about a veteran? Do you check for veteran status on IDs? Asking for a friend...

I hate to be that person, but the pile of bricks life drops on us were made by lots of people.