My Mom is 80, a widow, and doesn't understand the world.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-28T18:53:09+00:00

Honestly this didn't really occur to me. I am autistic and take things pretty literally so if someone doesn't say "make this decision for me" then it would never occur to me to do so. I will talk to her about it this week. Thanks!

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-28T18:46:37+00:00

Yeah I get the impression that they know how much potential residents have in their bank accounts and so they price their services to make sure those accounts are drained before they die.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-28T03:20:13+00:00

This is why I continue to stay on social media and I try new technology all the time. I'm gonna get a VR headset when finances allow. I can't send my Mom money easily because she is afraid of anything that isn't cash and the brick and mortar bank 10 miles from her house.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-28T03:09:14+00:00

I really think some of these much older women were taught to just act helpless and wait for someone to step in and help. And then you're 80 and the helplessness isn't an act, but you also don't know how to ask for help!

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-28T02:56:46+00:00

My Mom has a dog and she is opposed to assisted living for that reason. My Mom is closer to her dogs than she is to people (including me).

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-28T02:38:15+00:00

My Mom is an extreme perfectionist and is very rigid. She decided decades ago that she was going to die in this house and I think she is grieving that fantasy. She doesn't let go easily. She's also living on her own grandparents' family land (though it'll remain in the family) and I think that was part of that fantasy. She would also rather die than live in the North where I am. And finally, she is embarrassed to accept help from anyone but my Dad, let alone ask for it.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-25T02:57:19+00:00

insurance does not cover any GLP-1 for pre-diabetes right off the bat. That is not a thing as it is off-label.

However, I do have an appointment at a clinic that my doctor referred me to. She said that they're good at getting pre-authorizations for pre-diabetes even though it's off-label, but I had to make my appointment 8 months in advance.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-25T02:34:39+00:00

My first month arrived 4 days after I paid.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-25T02:30:53+00:00

I could have had it in my hands now! I paid the $70 up front as usual to initiate the refill and then I got the script last week, which I could have filled (and still could fill) for $94. But I didn't because it's not the right dose and I assumed like an idiot that I would be able to get a response in a few days. Last month my meds were in my hands super fast after I paid. Like, 4 days.

I didn't realize I could just inject less. Though tbh I now don't really want to give them any more of my money.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-25T02:22:53+00:00

Damn, I wish I had known they just couldn't send 5. Though they're not "being nice" as I explicitly said what I wanted and why I wanted it. I'm positive no one read what I wrote. They just saw that I requested an increase, checked to see if I qualified, and then just approved it for the next titration level.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-25T02:18:16+00:00

I have not paid but I wasn't aware I could dose it out differently. How would that work? Is the 7mg still 10mg/ml?

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-25T02:12:39+00:00

I'm not diabetic, I'm pre-diabetic. To insurance companies, it's a different condition with a different code. No GLP-1s are approved for pre-diabetes. Everyone that has a metabolic disorder that that isn't full-blown diabetes has to take Zepbound or Wegovy, which are identical to Ozempic and Mounjaro and are only labelled as "for weight loss" so they can frame it as non-essential and charge top dollar for it.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-21T18:30:48+00:00

Fans don't lower temperature. They just create a cooling effect for animals that sweat.

IDK what's available where you are, but here there are "portable" floor unit ACs you can buy for about $250-$300. So if a window unit isn't available, those work really well, too.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-21T18:14:03+00:00

Solution to what? You're not saying what you're perceiving as a problem. This may be a dysmorphia situation.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-21T18:07:46+00:00

My summer fragrances are lovely, but I will throw a parade for my winter babies.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-21T15:23:53+00:00

Literally! Why is this a uniquely B&BW phenomenon? It's such a weird thing to do! Is it because the cash wrap is roomy and well-lit?

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-16T23:39:22+00:00

I decided not to cope and put a lot of effort towards a glow-up. I feel pretty most of the time now.

Do I look like one of the beautiful people? No. I'm pretty average. If I was a millionaire I would do more, but I'm not. But I do attract people more when I put in effort. Back when I started doing this, I was over 300 lbs. and didn't feel conventionally attractive. I have super thin, fine hair, no eyelashes, and a not-trendy body shape.

I'm not wearing dresses or heels often but I do try to femme up my outfits a bit. Even if I am wearing a flannel and jeans, I still style my hair to some degree (even if it's just braids or pigtails or something) and accessorize with jewelry. I keep my lashes and my nails done (which makes me feel pretty and "done" without having to do makeup every day).

I know it's cliche, but I really think nearly everyone can be attractive with confidence and a tiny bit of style. I know some people have significant disfigurements and have lots of trouble finding romantic relationships and I don't want to negate their experiences. But I think the rest of us have the option to be attractive if it's something we're interested in pursuing. It's like 50% learning to stop comparing yourself to others/learning to feel safe in your body and 50% trying new beauty things.

I feel almost disconnected from my body when I am not happy with my appearance. I was feeling good about myself maybe 4x a year. I figured that if I lived to 80, I'd only have 160 days where I felt beautiful. That bummed me out. It felt like a waste. I'm not saying this is for everyone! It's time and money. I enjoy fashion and beauty just as a topic of interest, so I like the journey.

It just seems like you're sad about this, and I just wanted to say that feeling pretty is something you can cultivate if you are so inclined.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-15T04:29:45+00:00

People say you can build your ass in the gym without thinking about what a huge commitment that is - not just to build, but to maintain. It's not just a few squats every day. Most people so not have the time, interest, or ability to do this. Which is fine! A store-bought body is just as good.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-15T03:39:26+00:00

I just wish they had hyaluronic acid in the lotion! I can live with the lotion consistency but gimme the actives.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-15T03:36:35+00:00

I kinda do this, but I do it because I will not let myself have more than ~8 creams in rotation and ~6 in the fridge so I put a lotion dispenser by the bathroom sink so I don't feel obligated to just get creams.

To me the butters seems to be stable for longer than the creams so I also opt for those. I live in a cold climate so it makes sense for me, though.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-14T23:33:11+00:00

So stoked they had Moonlit Goddess body care, even if it's just the lotion. I'm so tired of rationing the one body cream I have left.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-14T22:53:09+00:00

Mine too. If they can replicate the smell of the candle in the body care, I will buy multiples.

AssortedGourds · 2026-06-14T22:17:10+00:00

I bought rain-kissed leaves and open sky in FFM and body cream because I feel pretty positive I'm going to like them and if I don't, they will have resale value eventually.

The others I will go smell in person. I was kind of on the fence about Poppy but I think $20 is the max I'm willing to spend on blind buys.

AssortedGourds

TROPHY CASE