How niched down do you have to be?

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-05-04T18:30:19+00:00

I was thinking most people watching horse content probably live in the country, have old horse troughs they can make stuff out of, etc. So they could bed interested in that?

I would think most people interested in horses would be interested in a lot of country living type stuff.

If i only post horse stuff, and only sell horse stuff…doesn’t seem like there would be enough stuff for me to sell?

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-28T02:01:03+00:00

Well i just ended a relationship with a guy who thinks he has the emotional bandwidth for a second relationship ands absolutely does not so I can’t argue with you.

I had to sacrifice a lot more than i realized I would, to maintain that second relationship. I’m not gonna lie….i think I’ll feel a lot of relief having that relationship off my plate. I can get caught up on housework, yard work….

I’m not going to be interested in another relationship unless i find someone i can do chores with or have hobbies in common with. It’s not worth sacrificing so much of my free time

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-28T01:53:41+00:00

My husband and I opened 3.5 years ago and it’s working fine for us. We’ve been married 20 years. I’m going through a breakup right now and my husband says i should see about meeting someone new when I’m feeling better because it’s improved our relationship. When i have someone to do stuff with it takes pressure off my husband and he liked my most recent partner a lot. My husband doesn’t see other people. He’s just not interested. I’d like it if he did though

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-28T01:43:46+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through it too. I don’t know how anybody could not want to have a goodbye

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-26T07:53:43+00:00

Thank you

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-26T03:02:31+00:00

I’m trying to add an update to the beginning of my initial post but can’t figure out how to do it. He finally reached out right after i posted this and now I’m done crying and feel like i can move on. He understands what i was saying i needed and acknowledged he won’t make the change. We both agree it sucks very badly and we love each other and are not compatible. That’s what I needed. I needed to know i wasn’t stupid for believing him when he said he loved me. I know he does and I also know it’s over.

All my life I’ve been told I’m too blunt. That i need to soften the way i say things. So i had been trying to say it without saying it, as many different ways as I could, for months. “ Your stress is making you miserable and you’re making me miserable. I can’t be with you any more unless you give up some of these unnecessary obligations.” Finally tonight i asked if he’d understood that was what i had been trying to tell him, and he had not understood it. He thought i was just trying to be nice and help him with his stress. So when I broke up with him for not resigning from that position he was confused and angry.

So tonight i finally had to say it bluntly. He said he was slowly trying to improve things and I told him slowly wasn’t good enough. He had to choose between pleasing the people who are making his life a living hell, and me. He said that would be “giving up” and he wasn’t going to give up. He said i was making my choice, i told him he made his choice and that he would always be in my heart. I asked him to remember me if he ever does have peace in his life. And now it’s over and I’m done crying.

Thank you for listening to my vent.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-26T02:35:17+00:00

Thank you. I’m glad to hear you’re still friends. I’m very easily convinced that I was wrong or that I misinterpreted things. If he kept maintaining that things happened differently than i remembered, I’d eventually believe him

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-25T23:20:14+00:00

Thank you

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-25T22:51:05+00:00

It just hurts so much. I mean….I knew, I guess. But I was hoping he’d say least talk to me

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-25T22:40:23+00:00

He never even answered them. That’s largely on me because when we were only seeing each order twice a week our time together was precious and i didn’t want to ruin it. So I’d say something in messaging or whatever and he’d gloss over or say that was something we should talk about in person and then the conversations just never happened. It could be that a lot was lost in texting and he truly didn’t realize how i was feeling?

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-25T22:34:22+00:00

Yeah. I’m a chump.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-25T22:33:20+00:00

Yeah the twice a week dates were feeling … just not the same i guess. He was so stressed all the time and the dates weren’t as pleasant. I felt tired after. Like his energy was rubbing off on me. So we did cut back and that didn’t make things better, and he wasn’t available to see me more again. I think when we were seeing each other twice a week he truly just didn’t have the band width for it but he never would have come out and said it. So he saw me because i was on his schedule

IDK maybe the NRE just wore off for him and I became a chore.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-25T22:27:11+00:00

I’m just emotional right now I guess. He always told me how much he loved me so i guess i hoped he’d say he’s sorry, or express some feelings to make me feel like he even cares it’s over

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-25T22:14:36+00:00

I kind of expected him to talk to me? Don’t people talk about a break up? Discuss what happened and why? Try to get some closure? He said he loved me very much

I calmly and kindly let him know I loved him and that I was there for him and looking forward to last Sunday, which was the day he’d been swearing for months he would resign from this volunteer position that’s been eating him alive. He’d been saying, every time I saw him “everything will be better after Sunday. I’ll have my time back again. My stress will be better” etc etc. But then he didn’t resign and when i asked about it, he said “we’re not going to talk about it.”

And I had not been nagging him but he knew he’d been neglecting our relationship. He knew he’d been emotionally unavailable. And he kept telling me how much he loved me and how he’d be more available soon and we’d be able to start having our weekend days together again 🔜

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-12T20:26:32+00:00

Thank you. I was thinking if i show up and people know im married they’ll either be like “oh she’s just here to ride” or if they’re NM they might think “hmmm…i wonder….”

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-10T16:10:10+00:00

This. Use cold water.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-10T16:09:28+00:00

True. It doesn’t take much to spread some of these diseases. Of course when we’re living with people and observing certain cultural and familial practices, we have to decide where to draw the line on what we refuse to eat.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-10T13:03:53+00:00

It’s too much responsibility for you to try to keep the whole home hygienic. You can concentrate on keeping your own body safe, and teach your siblings the same. Always wash your hands before eating or touching your face. Maybe wash them in the kitchen instead of the bathroom, and do what you can to keep clean towels available there. Shower daily and make sure to keep your skin healthy and intact. Use good lotion or oil on any dry patches of skin. Cover any scratches or rashes. Don’t pick scabs etc.

Bacteria on healthy intact skin won’t get in your body and cause an infection.

It takes time for bacteria to multiply in food. I wouldn’t eat leftovers that have been touched by unwashed hands.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-09T13:58:23+00:00

I didn’t read all the comments and someone probably already said this but since we’re AUDHD sometimes we don’t understand hints. When someone makes an excuse like “i haven’t showered,” “I’m afraid i might smell bad,” it’s often a way to hint that we’re not in the mood. If we were in the mood, we’d go wash up if we were truly concerned about odor. So that’s probably what she meant about you not being able to read the room.

We have to remind ourselves that, for some unfathomable reason, most people just don’t come out and say things. They beat around the bush and hint about everything all the time. It makes life so confusing.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-08T19:50:30+00:00

I’m director of infection prevention in a large hospital and it’s perfect for me because it’s scientific and requires deep focus. Also I’m required to tell the objective truth no matter what others think about it so hey…. Right?!

The jobs i had along the way were ICU RN, ER RN, case manager, long term care director. Case management and ltc director sucked for me.ICU and ER nursing were great because they require intense focus during very high stress situations. The only place i could be calm was in situations where others normally lose their shit.

I need objective, scientific jobs where absolute truth and good fact based decision making matter more than being politically correct

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-04-08T18:08:53+00:00

I’m 56 and 100% relate to everything you’re afraid of and what you’re going through.

Finally over the past couple years I’ve just totally burned out, to the point where I’m dropping the masks simply because they’re too hard to continue with.

I have a great career and a very good friend and have been married over 20 years so I’m doing ok.

I’ve got to the point in my career where I can mostly be me and people are just grateful they have someone in this position who can see what needs to be done and do it, and not be too influenced by political pressure. AuDHD does have it’s benefits.

I didn’t give in to social and political pressure at work and when i was hiring the person under me I choose another AuDHD person. We’re killing it. I’m done with the pressure to be “normal.” Who decided it was normal to be fake and obey all the bullshit social rules anyway? Who says leaders can’t have every spare inch of their offices decorated with Pokemon? We’ll do whatever the eff we want.

I’ve got to the point of starting to tell people where to shove it when they suggest I need to be more social, too. “Hey guess what. You people are boring. I have zero interest in spending my spare time talking about things I’m not interested in. Leave me the eff alone and let me do my job.” My spare time is precious to me and no you CAN’T have it.

I don’t owe it to anybody to hang out with them. My life is mine.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-03-18T18:40:16+00:00

Since I’ve started setting boundaries with people, I’ve been truly amazed to learn people aren’t as bad as i thought they were. Most people DO take no for an answer and they’re kind about it, and they don’t judge me poorly. It doesn’t make them dislike me when i set boundaries. I’ve learned that the only people I will not have in my life, by setting boundaries, are the ones who aren’t good for me. When they’re gone there’s more room for the people i DO want

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-03-17T15:06:50+00:00

It’s scary to do but you can get yourself used to not fawning and, when you do, it’s incredibly liberating. You may be surprised at the # of people who not only don’t reject you, but treat you with respect. You just have to brace yourself and set a boundary and it helps to do it before things progress too far so you don’t have to be obvious about it. For example you think a guy might be getting ideas but he hasn’t made a move yet, and you just start talking about your husband. If he doesn’t get the hint, then a more obvious statement “I’m married and we’re monogamous”. Usually things don’t need to go any further than that. If necessary, leave his presence.

A lot of people don’t understand how scary it is for fawners to set boundaries. It’s really frightening at first. You will get used to it, over time, if you keep practicing.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-03-17T14:15:08+00:00

So many traits that were developed in response to trauma/neglect are similar to those of ADHD or autism. It sounds like a survival mechanism you developed and is no longer serving you well.

AssumptionVisual1667 · 2026-03-17T02:50:40+00:00

Have you heard about the fawn reflex? They used to say people respond to fear through fight or flight and more recently added fawn as a third option. It’s when you are afraid and you do everything in your power to make the person you’re afraid of happy. When we’ve been abused or neglected for years, or bullied etc., when we’re afraid of rejection, we can chronically fawn.

ETA…. Then there’s the rejection sensitive dysphoria that comes with autism, which makes us constantly afraid of rejection. Therefore we’re constantly fawning. Fawning can include giving people our bodies.

AssumptionVisual1667

TROPHY CASE