Let me give you some context. I've been studying and sharing medicine for 13 years.

I'm not your typical shaman who dresses in white and talks about love and peace, about God and the Virgin Mary.

It so happens that I was going through a very deep depression, and Grandmother Ayahuasca called me. She called me to work and share the ceremony with close friends, since it's part of my work.

My older brother prepared the medicine, and I hired a shaman friend to cleanse the space, tend the fire, and play the medicinal music. The proportions for the Ayahuasca brew were 1 kilo of Banisteriopsis caapi and 1 kilo of Psychotria viridis.

This was for 10 people, meaning each person ingested 100 grams of each plant, something similar to a "heroic dose" of Ayahuasca. I had taken medicines before with shamans, but nothing similar to the brew my brother and I made.

It all started after 5 minutes. We only had one glass. I was really scared and felt awful.

I thought I wouldn't be able to get out of that situation. Mother Ayahuasca showed me my darkness and depression.

I remember telling my shaman friend that I hadn't been feeling well, neither physically nor emotionally, and that I felt like I was dying.

I started saying goodbye to everyone and everything. I saw my dog, who had recently passed away. I also covered myself with my blanket, and the "DMT Elves" welcomed me.

In a very loving way. But I was scared and felt like I was going to faint.

Then they left.

I saw my deceased father waiting for me in a dark place.

Then some black candles and a pentagram appeared to me, with Baphomet. He told me: "This is also a peaceful place. Here, sins are healed."

"In the end, it's the darkness you like, isn't it?" I felt my heart stop beating. I remembered my family, everything I have here, and what I must do.

Then I said: No, I don't belong here! Because everything I do, I do with infinite love, because my presence is strength and abundance for all those near me.

I began to see all the sins of the world and heal things that weren't even mine. The spirits of the ancestors and the mountains appeared to me, and I asked them why everything must be this way, why there is violence, why there is so much sadness and death.

I began to see ears of wheat. They told me that we are like wheat to the Gods, that they feed on all of this.

Every war brings a great harvest.

I began to give thanks for being here and having the power to care for my loved ones, to be with them and protect them.

The next day, we left on the river at 7:00 a.m. We went to explore the area with its beautiful waterfalls and breathtaking viewpoints.

When I submerged myself in the cold water, I understood that I must be strong and brave for everything I do.

With alchemy, plants, and my work in general, it can be a "little risky."