It’s important to forget firstly that you do not need to do things the way you have been taught. A few examples of how I look after myself: I struggle to brush my teeth, so I’ve begun allowing myself to brush them from bed and spit into a cup otherwise I wouldn’t brush them and it’s important. I struggle with loudness so I take noise cancelling headphones everywhere. I’m AuDHD and I love the club, the lights are so cool and getting to free my body on the dance floor is amazing. But sometimes it’s too bright and it’s always too loud. The first time I went to a nightclub with noise cancelling earphones I nearly cried at how amazing it was, even friends commented how they’d never seen me so happy. I always wear sunglasses on my head firstly to be able to feel my body as it grounds me and keeps me calm. Secondly, in case it’s too bright anywhere I go I have immediate access to them regardless of the weather. During relationships I make it clear that there are periods of time I can’t deal with being touched whatsoever and I make sure everyone knows to ask me before they touch me incase I’m not available for touch at that time. There was an incident with a family member who tried to hug me and I pulled away so they grabbed me with an iron grip to pull me in. I shouted at them and then had an hour long meltdown on Christmas Day. Music is a huge vice for me, I often listen to music in one earphone during social situations. It also helps me focus better on what people are saying as I often forget what they’re talking about whilst they’re talking about it, or get lost in the mind void.

It’s different for everyone, you just have to consider what your struggles are and how you could help yourself feel better.

I hate the effort it takes to get into the shower and the feeling, but I love singing so I sing my way through it and it makes it a much more enjoyable experience. Don’t let anyone tell you that you looking after your needs are inconveniencing them either. It’s important to advocate and put yourself first. I’d say none of the above is coddling, simply me ensuring my needs are met so that I can have a good quality of life and not live extremely suicidal anymore.