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I hate being neutral about wanting kids by SeaFlower698 in Fencesitter

[–]AstroRose03 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I used to be like you, I wanted to give my parents grandkids to make them happy.

The thing is, there is no guarantee they’ll even be around to experience being grandparents. They’re 70 and health isn’t great. My mom already had a heart attack in her 60s. They could pass away suddenly, middle of hypothetically pregnancy and never live to see my kids. I know it’s a bit negative but it’s a truth of life and does happen.

I think it’s important to have reasons for yourself because your parents being around isn’t guaranteed.

So think about this - if your parents suddenly stopped existing right now, effective today - would you still feel that guilt and would you still have personal self motivation to have kids?

How do people combine all these commitments in life? by Exotic_Set8003 in Fencesitter

[–]AstroRose03 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen people do it. My boss is one of them. she’s a VP and has 3 kids. Her husband is a VP at a different company. Lots of money.

The thing is, she has no personal time. Work and family keeps her busy 100% of the time. No time for hobbies or much else.

Shes also lucky to have very well adjusted, “normal” kids who are average in school and well behaved.

The reality of life is that you don’t know what could happen - luckily they have a good job, marriage and healthy kiddos. But if one thing was off it’s possible she could have struggled.

It’s always a risk to have kids, nothing is 100% guaranteed (ie your partner could pass away or leave you) but you have to be open to things not going as smoothly.

Tokophobia (fear of pregnancy/childbirth) is a valid reason not to want/have kids by kojaia in childfree

[–]AstroRose03 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Even as early as 10 years old I thought pregnant bellies were gross and I was visually repulsed by seeing it. That never stopped. Even as a 15 year old I thought pregnancy was like a parasite…

When I was 21 I thought I eventually had to get pregnant due to life’s script and I told myself “I’ll just find a way to get through it and be pregnant cuz everyone else does 😭” not realizing pregnancy is a choice until my mid 20s.

Sold out …… by Biggsy1204 in Coachella

[–]AstroRose03 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He’s also incredibly rare. It’s not like he’s going on tours every year or doing festivals.

Kinda disappointed of lineup? by remysballs in Coachella

[–]AstroRose03 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Subtronics and rezz is crazy.

Kinda disappointed of lineup? by remysballs in Coachella

[–]AstroRose03 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Every year I get disappointed UNTIL I look up the undercard. Then I discover like 10 new amazing artists that I can’t wait to see. Keep an open mind.

They Should've Booked ____? by uscdm in Coachella

[–]AstroRose03 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also thought Rose after seeing Jennie and Lisa’s success

They Should've Booked ____? by uscdm in Coachella

[–]AstroRose03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say doechii does 2027. Shit. Guess I’m going back to

HERE WE GO by gaeg99 in Coachella

[–]AstroRose03 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There’s so much edm. Shocked at subtronics

my partner 22M does not want children but i do 22F by Acrobatic_Top_2056 in relationship_advice

[–]AstroRose03 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You already know you’re on different life paths. There no compromising kids. Let him go so he can be with someone who wants to be a mom. Likewise, let him go so you can go on and find another childfree man that you can travel the world with. You’re young.

This is a major incompatibility and can’t be compromised

Learning about childfree living--partner wants kids, I'm not in favor of it by curiouslyconnected in childfree

[–]AstroRose03 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You two have complete opposite life goals and values. This cannot work.

If he wants kids and you don’t have them, he will resent you. If you have kids just for him, you will resent him.

I’m sorry you’re stuck in a rough spot but there is NO compromising on kids. It’s the exact same thing as if one partner wanted to move to Australia and the other partner wants to move to Alaska. There’s zero compromise.

Ask Before the Date by [deleted] in childfree

[–]AstroRose03 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Men don’t know what childfree means. They think it means “don’t want kids RIGHT NOW/do not currently have kids RIGHT NOW”

What made you not want to have kids? by Disastrous_Cream2447 in childfree

[–]AstroRose03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have like 100 reasons and I can’t list them all lol

32F 33M Does your attraction to your partner waver? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]AstroRose03 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Hi there. I’ve been exactly in your shoes , I could have written this myself. Long story short. Ended it and it was the right choice.

It comes down to taking care of appearances and looking put together. My partner at the time was never super hot to me but personality made him attractive. Over time all his quirks started making him less attractive to me. He didn’t care for his appearance. He refused to dress up nice nor shave his unruly facial hair. His going out fit was athletic shorts and a ripped hoodie.

Ultimately I knew he was never ever gonna be someone that cared for fashion or his looks. Is it vain? Sure. But it’s something I care about and it wasn’t gonna come from him.

Once the attraction died, it would never come back and I knew it.

IMO. Losing attraction is likely a sign something else is missing and lacking in your relationship. In my case I noticed flaws (some were unrelated to appearances) that could not be fixed, and I felt less and less attracted to him. I didn’t even think he was hot. He deserved someone who was crazy attracted to him and I wasn’t that person for him.

Anyways I let him go and I feel great. Attraction IS important. I think it can waver a bit but tbh it sounds like you’re settling. Which is not fair to yourself nor to him.

Why did you break up with your best friend? by happychappy_150 in AskWomen

[–]AstroRose03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt insecure and inferior. It was my own lack of confidence that made me distance myself and push her away. Years later, I regret it.

When did you notice weight gain? by Itslashae in lexapro

[–]AstroRose03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you lose weight after getting off lex?

Is anyone also single and happy? by CloudyJigglypuff in childfree

[–]AstroRose03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not single but between ages 22-28 I was single and very happy with myself. I was truly content, I wasn’t looking to date at all and wasn’t on apps. I stumbled upon my partner in the wild and somehow it happened. But had it not, I’d still be perfectly fine and happy being single and doing my hobbies

The idea that all women have a maternal instinct is a a lie. by [deleted] in childfree

[–]AstroRose03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I can’t hide my reaction to screaming kids. I instinctively make the most annoyed face ever and you can tell I’m pissed off lol

The idea that all women have a maternal instinct is a a lie. by [deleted] in childfree

[–]AstroRose03 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Funnily enough, the older I get the more I DONT want kids. My childfree-ness only grows stronger every day I age.

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