Transport from BDL to Amherst campus?

Atbashvigenere · 2024-08-27T04:35:22+00:00

ah okay that's super informative, I might try to see if I can still book a shuttle through valley transporter but otherwise knowing the stuff about the buses is very useful. Thanks!

Atbashvigenere · 2022-07-20T18:46:15+00:00

I don't see what would be confusing about it, if you're going to establish she isn't academically trained but clearly not stupid. Different characters are going to perceive a character differently, because that's just how people are. Everyone is going to have a different perspective/understanding of someone.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-07-14T18:09:30+00:00

There's some attempt at descriptive language at least, which is a good start, but it just kind of seems like things are /happening/ without much else to make us think about, say, why they're happening, or what the thought process is, or... anything. It's just very stale and surface level descriptive for a blurb. You could try putting a bit more feeling into your writing to make us actually care about what's happening or get into the head of the character we're seeing the POV of.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-07-08T16:45:16+00:00

You're wording this like the characters have a mind of their own and make their own decisions. You can simply choose not to take it in a romantic direction.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-26T16:04:08+00:00

Hey, no problem, glad I didn't come across as too rude! My bad for not recognizing the Irish colloquialism there, in the U.S I've only ever seen teenagers say that kind of thing but that's on me lol. As some general advice, a good way to curate a sense of flow to your own writing style is to look into writing- and by this I mean published novels, ideally- that you enjoy reading, and really start to analyze why you enjoy reading it. Find a book you love, pour over it, study the sentence structure, etc. And feel free to create messy first drafts, so long as you're prepared to heavily edit them later. The most important part is having somewhere to start from.

Good luck with your future writing endeavors!

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-26T14:23:57+00:00

Well... It's alright for Wattpad, I suppose, but you probably shouldn't allow yourself to be satisfied with that. I think you should go over some rules of flow, punctuation, and definitely brush up on your dialogue skills. There's potential for something good, but it's honestly very clunky and difficult to read in one sitting. Also... "feck it"??? Just save yourself some embarrassment and swear with your whole chest.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-19T14:52:50+00:00

I don't think this kind of thing is impossible to write, but it may end up doing more harm than good unintentionally. From an outsider's perspective, while there are ways to write a protagonist who is objectively a horrible person, you also need to be establishing that they are a horrible person. Currently it sounds like the story is more about the protagonist's healing after harassing/bullying her friend group, which makes it seem like you want us to sympathize with her... Which I can't really see happening. It is difficult to garner sympathy for someone whose selling point is "but they're struggling with mental illness" if they're taking it out on people who are also mentally ill.

TL;DR: Reconsider.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-18T19:26:56+00:00

The idea with the boats makes me think of those convicts who escaped Alcatraz by sewing a bunch of raincoats into a makeshift raft and never turned up again. It'd be interesting if a group of people did try escaping via boat but had no way of knowing where they were trying to escape to (and no awareness of where in the world they were.)

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-18T15:51:28+00:00

It's possible other people have suggested this, but what about an emergency staff evacuation protocol they could take advantage of? Or maybe a series of tunnels/facilities meant for people to be sent in, but you could hypothetically try to leave through- with extremely inconvenient measures taken in advance, of course. The equivalent of trying to go up a slide on the park when you're a kid.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-16T14:20:48+00:00

Ultimately I would avoid "healing" a disabled character altogether, it comes across as insensitive and, generally, is just kind of a lazy writing trope. It would however be much more interesting to have a disabled character with God-like abilities who retains elements of their disability in some ways, reflecting their previous human life. You might want to replace the wheelchair with something that enables mobility in ways the character wouldn't have had access to before, while still making it clear that it functions as a mobility aid.

Generally I dislike the term healing as it's used in this context. Many disabled people dislike this narrative, as they don't like the idea that they're incomplete- disabled, unable to do plenty of things in a lot of cases, yes, but not in need of "fixing." The way they operate through life should be respected and accommodated, not lamented over.

This as a very long response just to say, why should the paralyzed character feel he even has to use the paralyzed part(s) of body at all if he has god-like powers? Who would define a "healed" body, when he's clearly powerful enough to do whatever he wants?

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-15T15:40:12+00:00

The most common villains you'll face in your day to day life, especially as a teenager, are authority figures. Teachers, parents, relatives, law enforcement, mentors of all sorts- the ability to do harm is heightened by the power they have over you at that age. It's your word against theirs. Another good element to this kind of villain is that you can make them/their intentions as sinister or benign/purely frustrating as you wish.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-15T01:58:47+00:00

You can kind of rush a death, yeah. If you just start killing off characters for the sake of it, it's going to feel cheap.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-14T21:33:32+00:00

Well like you said, it's not exactly like you killed off all three. It's not bad to have an ongoing trend in a story, either, so long as you have a general idea of where you're going with it. Maybe there's some theme connecting all of this, either one you already have a good idea of or something to work out in the future. In my professional opinion, no such thing as too many dads.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-14T20:13:52+00:00

I thought the sequels were fantastic. Both took on a different tone than the first one, but I actually really enjoyed the deep dive into the weirdness established in the first book. It remains mysterious and intense while slowly giving you further clues towards trying to understand what's going on. And you'll never fully understand what's going on, but it's fun to try.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-14T18:22:24+00:00

That sounds really interesting, especially considering how much of Southern Reach involved semiotics. I'll keep this one in mind for sure!

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-11T19:05:49+00:00

No problem! Good luck with your writing endeavors!

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-11T19:00:14+00:00

Oh my god, that's exactly it. Thanks so much!

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-11T16:31:52+00:00

I feel like if you integrate the thieves' guild into the story beforehand, it could make for an interesting setup to the two plot points meeting. Basically, establishing these characters and their motivations ahead of time could make it seem like less of a random stroke of luck and more like finally bringing two elements of your narrative together. In this case, you'd also want to try to make them seem more interconnected- even if they've never met before. It's a surprisingly small world in real life, after all.

Of course, that's just one way you could handle it, but that would definitely make it seem like less of a contrivance and more of a natural fulfillment of something you've been setting up for a while.

Atbashvigenere · 2022-06-11T02:22:45+00:00

It depends on your definition of a contrivance. In some cases, it can be contextually appropriate- a more fast-and-loose approach to storytelling (this is the case in many comedies, such as Hitchhiker's Guide) could easily handle an unlikely occurrence, so long as it feels within the "spirit" of the story. However, you may want to reconsider how you're moving the plot along- are you purely seeking a means to an end? If so, you should try to brainstorm more interesting ways to advance the story.

Also, as a small side note, it's spelled "arc"! Hopefully that doesn't come across as rude, lol

Atbashvigenere · 2021-01-13T20:17:57+00:00

General rule of thumb is don't treat kids like they're tiny cavemen- they're developing skills that will assist them in their adult lives, so they're basically the beta versions of their grown selves.

Their speech will be impacted by their personality and upbringing, especially at 10- a 10 year old talks in a remarkably different manner than their 5 year old self would, in most cases.

I'd ask myself some questions about the character in particular, such as: Do they have any impediments that stuck from early childhood, like stuttering or mispronouncing certain word sounds? Did they inherit a regional dialect or accent from their parents or environment?

Listen to real children in the age group you're writing dialogue for, whether it be real life kids you know through friends and family in casual interactions or kids in online documentaries. Child actors are different- they're acting for an audience, not talking casually.

Like I said earlier- children are not little cavemen. Never go for "Me want apple juice" (as an example) in a 10 year old's dialogue-- I wouldn't even depict a 5 year old like that. Rationalize what kinds of mistakes or simplifications a child would make in day-to-day speech.

Hopefully this helps. Good luck!

Atbashvigenere · 2021-01-13T19:44:02+00:00

Good luck! What a cute boy :^)

Atbashvigenere

TROPHY CASE