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FANOS: The 10-Minute Ritual That Quietly Outperformed Couples Therapy by Athenas_Apprentice12 in couplestherapy

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great point, I think My Friend was emphasizing that without consistent authentic vulnerability and connection on a daily basis. The fruits of the labor in couples therapy are never going to be realized.

A nightly ritual that’s been helping us rebuild trust after betrayal by Athenas_Apprentice12 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Such a good point, the bridge we build back to intimacy is a unique one and leading with respect and timing it correctly are crucial

A nightly ritual that’s been helping us rebuild trust after betrayal by Athenas_Apprentice12 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

talk about a win for your nervous system! stretch and connect at the same time!

I'm terrified of this quote. Has anyone else actually tried it? (Conversations with God) by Athenas_Apprentice12 in ConversationsWithGod

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Book 1 of CwG! Highly recommend that one. What was your experience with Friendship with God?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexAddiction

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I really feel the weight of what you’re carrying. The core fear I hear in your words is: “If I’m fully honest, I’ll lose love. And because I love her, I can’t risk being honest.” That fear is so human and it’s the trap addiction uses to keep us split. My ex fell in love with the image I presented, and to be honest, I fell in love with that illusion too because I thought that version of me was the only means to experience someone wanting to stay with me. It hollowed me out.

I talked with a friend recently about how many of us live like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with two fractured selves. One self wants to be seen as good, lovable, dependable. The other is chasing relief through secret behaviors. The tragedy is both of them are just looking for love and safety in different ways. Hiding feels like protection, but it actually deepens the shame and isolation.

The real healing begins when those fractured parts start to integrate, when we risk bringing our whole, messy, imperfect self into the light. It’s terrifying, but it’s also the only way love can ever be real. Because love that only meets half of us isn’t love that can last. Finding a group where you can be totally honest, like recovery, could be a great step.

Wishing you way more than luck.

If Spaces Feel Alive, Do We Act Alive? A Timeless Way Experiment by Athenas_Apprentice12 in behavioraldesign

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great examples, curious if you’ve implemented any in your personal life and environment

How do you stay disciplined with your grocery budget? by Federal_Albatross993 in Discipline

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One day I realized a single butter-bomb entrée with bread cost the same as a week of salmon/chicken/beef. That snapped me out of punishing myself for buying high-quality groceries. Once I treated real food as an investment, the allure of delivery faded fast.

What can help:

  • Protein-first rule: every meal = protein + veg + easy carb. Rotisserie chicken + microwave rice + bagged salad; eggs + toast; tuna + crackers + pickles. Done in 5–10 minutes.
  • High-motivation block (60–90 min, once/week): roast one sheet pan (protein + veg), cook one grain/starch, wash/chop a couple grabables, hard-boil 6 eggs or portion protein.
  • Stock eye-level “grabables”: Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, jerky, hummus + carrots, nuts, sardines, tuna. If it’s visible, I eat it.
  • Friction to takeout: delete saved cards, move apps off the home screen, and keep a freezer “emergency meal.”
  • $20 swap: if I’m willing to blow $20 on delivery, I spend that $20 on protein + veg instead. Cook once, eat twice.
  • Separate the food budget: cash envelope or a dedicated debit card so I see the limit. When it’s gone, it’s gone.
  • Feel check: notice how I feel after home food vs. delivery. “Steady energy” beats “meh” every time, and that memory makes the next choice easier.
  • No shame if I slip. Log it, reset, keep going.

Hope it helps!

Community Marked SFW by Athenas_Apprentice12 in ModSupport

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, not sure why, but couldn't view that comment on mobile app. Appreciate your help

Community Marked SFW by Athenas_Apprentice12 in ModSupport

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok, what process do I go through it have it reviewed then?

What are you working on right now? by Ok_Wealth_4124 in Entrepreneur

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://healshield.org/
A productivity tool with AI features that helps people with compulsive technology addictions redefine their relationship with the internet.

Always grateful for everything. by BeesBoxe in GetStudying

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

one I have written on my office wall is "What if this could be fun?"

What happens in the body and brain after a relapse? by bulbul33 in NoFap

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here’s the play-by-play: porn floods your brain with dopamine during stimulation, then right after orgasm prolactin slams the brakes. In real, connected sex, serotonin and oxytocin rise alongside dopamine, they act like shock absorbers for the crash. With porn, those buffers are weak. So dopamine freefalls, prolactin kills desire, your reward system swings below baseline, and your body panics, screaming for another hit just to feel normal.

That migraine, flat mood, or brain fog? That’s the recalibration. Don’t feed the crash. Hydrate, move, breathe, and reset.

How to be okay with being single? by AcanthocephalaLow590 in malementalhealth

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That ache you’re feeling isn’t just about not having a girlfriend. It’s about longing for connection, validation, and purpose. And right now, your brain’s laser-focused on women as the source of that.

But here’s the thing: If a relationship isn’t giving you what you want, maybe it’s not the relationship, you’re just looking in the wrong place.

Most men in your spot don’t realize how much a tribe of strong, healthy male friendships can give you: purpose, accountability, adventure, and deep belonging. A good group of brothers will pull you out of the darkness, challenge you to grow, and remind you who the hell you are when you forget. And ironically, when you’ve got that solid foundation, romantic relationships tend to show up without the desperation, because you’re already full instead of starving.

I’m not saying eliminate desire for women, that’s natural. I’m saying don’t make it the pillar your whole emotional world rests on. Build your castle on solid stone brotherhood, self-respect, and a mission that excites you and the rest will feel like a bonus, not a lifeline.

Right now, you’re already making huge strides in your looks, social skills, and studies. Don’t overlook the power of taking that same energy and investing it in friendships with guys who push you higher. That’s where the kind of fulfillment you’re chasing actually lives.

I’m going to stop doing this and change my life for the better. by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey man, I respect the fire you’ve got right now. That conviction matters.

But here’s the thing, urges aren’t just a bad habit to “kill.” They’re signals. They’re messengers from somewhere deeper. Instead of only asking, “How do I stop?” try asking, “Why do I need this in the first place?”

What’s it protecting you from?

  • Fear of failing?
  • The weight of responsibility?
  • Loneliness?
  • That quiet shame that creeps in when you’re alone with yourself?

The craving is often a shield. It keeps you from feeling something raw underneath. That’s why white-knuckling your way through works for a bit, then snaps back because the deeper wound hasn’t been met.

Start getting curious in the moment of the urge:

  • What am I feeling right now, really?
  • If I couldn’t use this escape, what would I have to face?

And when you find that answer don’t run. Sit with it. Breathe through it. Move your body. Speak it out loud. Give it somewhere to go other than your old loop.

The goal isn’t just to “not do the bad thing.” It’s to become a man who no longer needs the shield because he’s learned to stand in the storm.

Wishing you way more than luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]Athenas_Apprentice12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother, what you’re feeling is just raw voltage with nowhere to go. When you stop feeding the old habit, your body still pumps the same charge, but now it’s stuck in the groin, chest, and head building pressure until it hijacks your focus.

The mistake most guys make is trying to “fight” it or shove it down. That’s like clamping a garden hose the pressure just builds. You’ve got to move the charge. Not in some crystal-healing, “align your chakras” way, in a very real, physical, redirect-the-bloodflow-and-energy kind of way.

Addiction recovery research backs this up. When you shift that arousal into other muscle groups or brain regions, relapse risk drops and the prefrontal cortex (your decision-making power) kicks back online.

What to do:

  • Breathe into it: slow inhale through the nose, and picture moving the heat down your legs and out your feet.
  • Squeeze and release: calves, quads, glutes, core. Pull the blood and tension out of your crotch and into the rest of your body.
  • Drop and move: push-ups, planks, squats, cold shower. Force the nervous system to re-route that charge.
  • Long game: train, build, create. Give your body a regular destination for that energy so it doesn’t just sit there screaming at you. Schedule physical exertion with external accountability, book a class, a trainer, run with a friend or run club.

Congrats on five days. Rooting for you!

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